Nip/Tuck Season 5 Episode 8

Christian: (To Matt) The surgery went well.. We'll just gonna do some grafts... Take some skin from your ass, you know, the place where you keep your brain.

Carol: There we were in our red hats and scarves, singing "Winter Wonderland" and watching the sunset on the beach when a tattooed man in blue approached, and advised us that we were in "crip" territory. Well I happen to speak "crip", so I told him "chill, we were friendlies". But then five men in blue approached, and asked if the red scarves meant that we were sent by the Bloods to diss them. I said "fo schizzle, we were just spreading the word" and "please not get up in our grills". And then I reached for my pitch pipe...
Christian: They beat the crap out of you?
Sean: Maybe they weren't music lovers
Christian: How did you escape unhurt?
Carol: I took their advice and hauled my cracker ass out of there...

Liz: (In response to the carollers singing) Go! Away! Bah humbug!
Sean: Ebenezer Cruz, where's your Christmas spirit?

Ram: Don't you think that the little girl's gonna be a little bit better off with Kimber and me, rather than some punk who's willing to be filmed taking it up the ass so he could score a little bit more boo-yah?
Christian: That's my son, you dick-sucking pimp!
Kimber: Didn't you guys know that Matt worked here? Oh yeah, Ram cast him in First-Time Fairies... as a bottom. That's the one...
Julia: Stop it Kimber, you're lying!
Christian: That's the only thing she's good at, except for spreading her legs.

Christian: It takes at least two to tango with Kimber. Preferably eight, one for each tentacle.