Buses And Hoyay<br />
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Written And Directed by Sean Jablonski
9.0
"Superb"
Christian (to Sean): "Fine, if you won't come out, I'm coming in".
Secrets and lies and the fallouts that the hurt and trauma can cause from it, we've all been there and with this show, it's a case of repeatedly being there too. In Nip/Tuck's defence, every show nowadays consistently doles out a lot of pain that characters bring on themselves but provided it's still effective, I'll still care and I'll still keep watching. Both Sean and Christian have a whole new set of skeletons that are half outed tonight and the consequences are stunning to watch.
Despite his abrasiveness this season, I still like Sean, so while I may have hated him for sleeping with mad Monica, he earned points for dumping the girl in an amicable manner. Unfortunately for everyone as well as Sean, Monica doesn't take being dumped very well and when the delightful Marlowe is struck down with food poisoning, Julia enlists Monica's help to look after Connor while her and Sean can go away to celebrate their honeymoon in a better and more private fashion compared to their first. I totally support that but I don't why for this sake they couldn't have left Connor with Christian? After all, he's their closest friend and judging from early Season Two, he's more than capable of looking after a baby.
Still though this hour helps confirms two things that we already knew and these are that every now and then, Sean has a woeful taste in women and that Monica is a nut job and sadly for Jennifer Hall, not the kind of one you feel sorry for. Monica's obsession with getting Sean all for herself followed with that annoyingly coy "I won't tell Julia what we did" only half ignited my burning hatred for the woman. Seriously this woman who make you miss Kit, she's that annoying.
So what exactly did Monica do to warrant some hatred in her final outing in Miami? Let's see, how about breastfeeding Connor? That's pretty out of line, right? You don't have to be a parent to be disgusted by someone, including Monica breastfeeding their client's child and although Monica had Sean over a barrel with Connor in her arms, he missed the boat completely by not calling the police there and then. He should have given that Monica had strictly violated his child, it would certainly warrant more attention than a spurned ex-lover crying wolf. Also, why the hell didn't Sean tell Julia before confiding in Christian about it at work? This is something you do not hide from your wife Sean!
Christian doled out the wise old gem that if Sean told Julia about Monica breastfeeding their son, any claim of an affair would be dismissed and I agree. However Sean should be telling Julia of this incident in regards to the safety of their child and not because he wants to save his own hide. I'm hoping I'm not sounding self-righteous but that scene with Monica really angered me a lot.
It wasn't until Escobar visited Sean for the second time this season and more or less told Sean that the best method of keeping Monica was to kill her and while Sean didn't, it was a great motivator for him. How come the baddies on this show are the ones to get the good guys off their butts and take affirmative action? There are times when I'm amazed about how much pushing these characters actually need in order to do something.
When Monica came in to get her infected breasts checked out, Sean had her in a vulnerable and if he had been watching Showtime recently, he could have taken some inspiring tips from Dexter and bumped her off when the going was good. He got pretty close when he was gassing her and wrestling with conscience but in the end, Sean couldn't bring himself to kill Monica.
Unfortunately for Sean, Monica doesn't seem to be the type to get life changing epiphanies and instead of taking heed on his advice to get psychiatric help, she decides to go to the police and accuse him of rape. Luckily for everyone else and Sean she only makes outside the practice before a bus flattens and kills her. As comic deaths go, this one is hilarious but if Sean thinks that the Monica problem is resolved, then he might want to listen a bit more to Escobar.
Sean and Julia may want to connect after they married at the end of "Dawn Budge" but it doesn't look like they'll be starting on the clean slate both of them were hoping for after all. Monica may be dead but she's still leaving damage in her wake but Sean's got a guilty conscience, one he could relieve by telling all to Julia. She mightn't like it but she does need to know. After all, Sean's latest bit on the side breastfed their child and told him her breasts were infected. There's the possibility that she ma have passed on something to him and if she did, then it'll be more than Sean's ass on the line. If past experiences are anything to go by, Sean needs to bite the bullet because it's more of a case of when Julia will find out and not if or how.
Finding out about anything, especially the more intimate details of your own personal life and sexual preferences is always going to force you to question how you view yourself. This episode opens up with a brilliant homoerotic dream as a Speedo clad Christian and Sean are lovers basking in a gay resort surrounded by some of the most beautiful men on the planet. Christian is totally within his element and Sean wants to stay in the closet for all eternity and storms off with Christian in pursuit. I can see where this parody is going and what fun it is when devil duo Michelle and Kimber take away Sean's hopes of living with Christian having to give him the kiss of life. Then Christian wakes up and Sean tells him that change takes time but they can pull through together and then they kiss. The sucker punch is that both kisses happen off screen and while I more than accept the reality that Christian and Sean are straight, why the hell couldn't we have gotten one kiss between Julian McMahon and Dylan Walsh? After all we've had Ava/Julia kiss, Kit/Kimber kiss, James/Michelle kiss and all these women are straight (well James and Kit are up for debate). If people think a kiss in a dream between two straight men is jumping the shark, then they are pretty daft. Sean and Christian having hot sex would be tame in comparison to 90% of the outlandish stuff this series has already done.
Christian however then interprets the dream because of the Michelle appearance as another inability to commit to a person he has deeper feelings for and decides that because he can't have Michelle completely that dumping her is the right thing to do. This would be a great moment for all those Christian/Michelle non shippers if trouble stirring shrink Faith Wolper wasn't stirring further poison.
With Monica dead the position for Stalker Lady is now filled by Faith who openly admits to Christian that she suffers from sexual compulsion and is obviously miffed when he doesn't reciprocate her feelings (which oddly enough doesn't enter Christian's radar). Some women don't like being rejected and I'm guessing that Faith finds a nice of conveying Christian and Michelle's affair to Burt, whose response to his wife and employee at it is strange.
Instead of filing for divorce and selling McNamara/Troy, he demands that Christian and Michelle have sex in front of him with lingerie that he buys for them and if they don't do it (which they shouldn't have); he'll make it his personal mission to destroy the both of them. I knew Michelle and Christian would cave in, despite the vague hope of Michelle actually having enough willpower and strength to not wanting to be degraded sexually but sadly they did and I had to watch one wholly freaky and painful sex scene that looked like it came out of One Hour Photo. Burt came across as broken, pathetic and sympathetic by turns. I've never really rated Larry Hagman's ability as an actor but I was impressed with him in this episode. Sadly though, this episode saw Michelle going from a feisty woman who wouldn't indulge Christian's chauvinistic crap into a bit of a nymphomaniac. I kept think "Michelle, stop begging him for sex, it makes you look needy". It also turns out that in between Burt's inability to keep it up, the spark in his and Michelle's marriage is well and truly gone. Michelle even admitted to feeling trapped by being with him. At this rate maybe Christian should consider men, even shallow ones like Mitchell or Mike because seriously, Julia excluded, this guy seems to attract every psychotic, needy or volatile woman on the planet. Originally I wrote Faith off a poor Ava/Kit clone (I still think she's designed on these characters, especially with her hair colour) but Brooke Shields is doing a wonderful job with her as Faith caused a lot of trouble for Burt, Michelle and Christian and this was after we were fooled into thinking that her sexual encounter with Christian was a wake up call to sort herself out, which she told Christian as well. Now she ends the episode with getting a tattoo saying "Property Of Christian Troy", despite his absolute lack of interest in her. It'll be interesting to see what happens next.
Also in "Faith Wolper"
Main Patient Of The Week: Faith Wolper had the tattoo of her ex-lover Marco removed by Christian. Apparently Marco would submit her sexually by having her sleep with other men. Then again, Faith probably made that all up.
Michelle (re Sean): "What do you think?"
Kimber: "Definitely more gay".
Julia: "I remember having fun"
Sean: "I remember having to put our faces in a pillow everytime we had sex".
I liked seeing both Dylan Walsh and Julian McMahon in Speedos. Shame we didn't get that kiss. Well there's always slash.
Burt (re Michelle): "First time in my life all I wanna do is please her, not myself. First time I've ever felt like that".
It was nice that we learned more about Burt this week. He first wife, he was married to her for 20 years before she died of leukaemia.
Christian: "So Marco was a romantic?"
Faith: "Marco was a low point in my life".
Faith mentioned being sexually abused as a child. Also even with makeup, wouldn't Christian had smudged her back with his hands when they were having sex?
Michelle (re Burt): "He tried but he went pretty soft fast"
Christian: "And you want me to be your stand in dick?"
No Matt this week and Kimber and a recovering Liz only had one scene each. I also wish we would get a Gina update soon.
Escobar (re Monica): "You're never gonna have any peace as long as this **** is in the picture"
Sean: "What am I supposed to do?"
Escobar: "Kill her". Christian: "What's this?"
Burt: "I thought you might want to wear them the next time you two have sex".
Did anyone else get the impression that Burt has an idea of Michelle's former profession? Maybe not the organ stealing, but definitely the escort stuff.
Burt (to Michelle): "Do you love him?"
Christian: "Yes".
The parodies in this episode seemed to range from The Hand That Rocks The Cradle (Monica breastfeeding Connor), Final Destination (Monica's death), South Park (Sean/Christian opening scene) and Our Hour Photo (Burt watching Michelle/Christian having sex).
Faith: "I hope you're not losing faith"
Burt: "I just don't want to lose Michelle".
The chronology this week I guess would be a week and a half since "Dawn Budge".
Escobar: "You know Sean, life's full of surprises. Just ask Monica".
Standout music: "I Like The Boys" by Pleasure Seekers. And I thought "Filthy/Gorgeous" by the Scissor Sisters was super gay!
Well, "Faith Wolper" is definitely another brilliant instalment to this impressive fourth season and the ongoing storylines are continuing to be more and more engaging, although now the threats to McNamara/Troy this season seem to be on the increase. I'd give a ten but we got no Sean/Christian kiss so a nine will do.moreless