Season 5 Episode 11

Kyle Ainge

Aired Wednesday 10:00 PM Jan 29, 2008 on FX

Episode Recap

Christian is haunted by the death of Gina as he and Sean begin a consult with a newlywed couple. The young groom explains that the couple went skiing for their honeymoon, during which they got in an accident and were snowed into their vehicle for ten days. He says that the trim on the dashboard cut up his forearm pretty badly. The doctors begin questioning the guy's story, when the distraught new bride comes clean. The truth is, she's extremely hypoglycemic and was starting to hallucinate with no food in the car. Her husband gauged out pieces of his own flesh, heated them on the cigarette lighter, and fed them to her. She's disgusted by the thought of her own cannibalism, and she pleads that Sean and Christian fix her husband's arm before vomiting into the trash basket.

While performing the surgery, Sean, Christian, and Liz discuss Gina's alleged suicide. Sean thought she was doing well. Liz says it wasn't so surprising. Christian says it's probably for the best, because she was always a pain in his ass. Sean suggests that Christian go and see Wilbur at school.

At the school, a mousy, bespectacled teacher informs Christian that Wilbur has bitten one of the other students and that Wilbur may need to be expelled. Christian explains that Wilbur's mother died a few days ago, and the teacher is horrified, yet sympathetic. She attributes Wilbur's acting-out to the fact that he can sense the loss of his mother… even though Christian hasn't actually informed the toddler that his mommy's gone.

Sean reluctantly consults with his agent, Colleen, who revels in her evaluation for fixing her "hammer toe." Her toes are crooked and bent from, as she says, "pounding the pavement" for Sean and her other clients. Sean dismisses the idea of free surgery because he feels it crosses professional boundaries, but Colleen insists she means to pay like any other patient.

Christian watches Wilbur play with toy dinosaurs and tells him that biting is wrong and not to do it. He then approaches Wilbur and vows always to be honest with him, confessing to having "basically screwed mommy off the balcony." He goes on about not wanting the police involved because it would mean being taken away from Wilbur, that maybe this is for the best, and that, yes, Gina was a skank (in response to a surprisingly mature question from Wilbur). The sound design swiftly changes and reality returns. Wilbur misses his mommy, and a teary Christian simply utters that she's gone away for a while.

In the middle of Colleen's surgery, a sleek armada of designer suits struts into the offices on a mission. The group intrudes upon the operating room, and the leader introduces them, "Hi, Sean. We're CAA." This is the most powerful talent agency in town, and it wants to be in "the Sean McNamara business." The CAA agents have never heard of Colleen Rose, dismissing her as a small boutique agency. They then try to seduce Sean into representation by telling him about the great charitable organizations with which they're involved, as well as their client Tom… Cruise and Hanks.

Christian visits the mortuary, where a lewd, heavy-set female coroner asks to "pick his brain," so to speak, about facial reconstruction. Gina's head has been shattered beyond recognition, and the coroner suggests a closed casket. Christian grieves over Gina's body when he gets a call that there are complications with Kyle Ainge, the newlywed groom. They're not sure what his problem is, but his wife is clearly upset.

After Kyle is stabilized, Sean checks on Colleen, trying to keep his visit short and impersonal. As a present, Colleen gives him a custom-made teddy bear wearing operating scrubs, explaining that making teddies is a hobby of hers. Bob Levitts, the head of the CAA clan, enters and tells Sean that they've got the private jet waiting to take him to New Orleans for "Operation: Katrina Kids." This causes an immediate rivalry between the hot-shot Bob and the small-potatoes Colleen. Sean assures Colleen he's just exploring his options, but Colleen screams at him, throwing the teddy bear to the ground.

Christian and Liz go to Gina's funeral, where they are shocked to find so many loving friends in attendance. One by one, sad individuals get up and eulogize about Gina's incredible sexual prowess, complimenting her unmatched skills at "jobs" of the blow-, hand-, and rim- varieties. Bringing the mood down a major notch is one final speaker, the man who admits to having given AIDS to Gina. He expresses his awe and gratitude for Gina's positive outlook and forgiveness, which helped this man cope with his own state of mind in the face of his disease. Christian is visibly moved, realizing that Gina had a positive effect on people after all.

He goes to visit Wilbur's school, where the teacher tells Christian that Wilbur has bitten again. When Christian offers to buy a playground for the school in exchange for keeping Wilbur there, the teacher instead suggests he "provide something else to climb on." Cut to the teacher riding Christian on a sofa, shouting dirty talk that sounds disturbingly like kindergarten praise (e.g. "That's a good, big boy!"). In her moment of climax, the teacher bites Christian's shoulder, drawing blood even, and Christian threatens to reveal that the teacher is in fact the one biting the children!

Meanwhile, Sean can't seem to understand what's causing Kyle Ainge's infection. Then, the distraught wife admits through tears that she has carved pieces of her own arm and fed them to her husband, trying to "return the favour" in order to alleviate her guilt and self-disgust. Sean tells her that contaminated meat like human flesh could kill a person, and that perhaps it was the brief cooking from the cigarette lighter that saved her life when she ate her husband's meat on their honeymoon. Her husband may not be so lucky. They transfer Kyle to a hospital, and we later hear that he's responding well to antibiotics.

Colleen has Bob Levitts over to her home office for a meeting to discuss Sean's future. The place is littered with colorful teddy bears, and it's clearly beneath the standards of Bob's usual business associates. Colleen presents Bob with an "Agent Bear," a teddy with bloody fangs and a Bluetooth headset. Colleen begins listing her other impressive clients and says she represents Nicole Kidman. Bob finds that curious, since he actually represents Nicole. Realizing Colleen is a pathetic phony, he heads to the door, but Colleen whacks him over the head with a champagne bottle. When Bob awakens from blackness, he's duct-taped to a chair. Colleen screams at him and then sticks a vacuum-like tube in his mouth, filling his insides to the brim with stuffing like a teddy bear. He sits there dead, and Colleen then pierces buttons onto his eyes. It is a grotesque sight, but Colleen admires her work. She takes Bob's Blackberry off his belt.

Christian brings the police to Wilbur's school in order to take the teacher into custody. She cooperates, but whispers to Christian that she's gotten her teeth capped. His scheme is foiled as far as legal action, but at least the principal believed Christian and fired the teacher. Sean suggests that Christian tell Wilbur about where the teacher and Gina have disappeared to, but Christian insists it'll be too hard on Wilbur. Sean rebuts that it's actually too hard on Christian.

Colleen comes into Sean's office for a follow-up, and Sean tells her that he's not switching agents. Apparently, Bob Levitts had a spiritual awakening on the Katrina trip and decided to abandon the 'biz in order to build schools in Darfur. It was a mass email sent from Bob's Blackberry. Colleen feigns surprise and sympathy. Sean accepts the news as a sign of rejection (nobody else from CAA ever called him), and he and Colleen reconcile with mutual apologies for their behavior. They commiserate over the "Hollywood bug" and the struggle to keep one's ethics intact when there's so much pressure.

Christian surprises Wilbur with a puppy named Lipo, whom Wilbur can play with when he's sad about his mommy. Christian finally tells him, "Mommy's never coming back."