Wilbur: "Is Mommy a skank?"
Christian: "Yes she was. She was a bad person and a bad mommy".
This is probably why at funerals, Christian should be forbidden from making eulogies. I want to remember the good qualities Gina had and not the bad ones. I'm not blind to Gina's faults but do we need to hinge on them when Christian is a far worse person himself?
Even though he had to witness Gina plummeting to her death, Christian is pretty insistent on emphasising that Gina's passing is a good thing. Gina might have made it her mission to drive Christian round the bend but right now, she is far from a problem for Christian. Surely Christian isn't that dense that he really thinks she is?
I guess the only reason why Christian is so keen to badmouth Gina in front of Sean, Liz and Linda is because he doesn't want to admit that he cares and that her death actually does affect him. It's not like Gina was some random chick. She and Christian have too much history between each other.
Also while Christian may be a heartless bastard, even more so with this season than in previous years, he's unconvincing when he acts like he doesn't care. Refusing to open up to Sean about her was a sign that he does and Sean more than knew, even if he didn't really push the issue.
If Christian really despised Gina (and let's admit it, she gave plenty of reason to make him feel that way), then why on earth would he be raising Wilbur as his own son or why would he have even bothered to pay for her AIDS medication? You don't do things like that for someone you loathe with a passion.
Nor do you go all out in regards to pay for Gina's funeral expenses. That's not something you do. Christian definitely feels guilt for Gina's death, even if he isn't directly responsible for her dying.
It's also obvious that Christian would be footing the bill for Gina's funeral and while it's incredibly depressing to see no member of Gina's family there (not even Wilbur), it's also great that Christian and Liz aren't the only ones paying their respects.
Gina might not strike you as the kind of person who has a tribe of friends but it doesn't mean that she was totally alone in the world. In fact the church is virtually filled out with practically everyone from Gina's Sexaholics meeting, who all came to see Gina off. Seriously no pun intended!
As twists go, this was a good one. We met Gina in SA, now we get to see her leave in SA because this funeral soon begins to feel like a SA meeting when we start through the hysterical eulogies. Points for inventiveness – extremely high!
If you've seen the Six Feet Under episode where all of porn queen Vivicia St John's cast mates all came to pay respects, then that is basically how the scene is played out. Gina seemed to have an eclectic set of sexual partners and judging by their kind words, it would appear that Gina did happen to be a giver after all. Now that pun was intended.
What's really interesting is that out of all of Gina's past sexual partners, we were given the opportunity to meet the guy who gave Gina HIV and in all fairness, I felt bad for him. Like Gina, he was best with his sex addiction and didn't even realise himself that he had HIV before infecting Gina. His remorse was definitely clear to seen throughout.
If there's one thing that this plot did lack was an appearance from Gina. I know she's dead but would a little hallucination or spectral appearance from Gina actually have hurt this episode? I'd love to have seen Gina challenge Christian about Wilbur or his inability to commit for one last time. Oh well, maybe next season I'll get that.
With Gina dead, the only person unaware of her passing happened to Wilbur, simply because Christian can't face telling the boy that his mother is dead. I can see why it's hard for Christian to tell him given that Wilbur is so young but at the same, there's only so long that Christian can put it off too.
Wilbur asking for Gina shows awareness that she's been recently factoring in his life. Gina did admit to liking spending time with her son to Christian before dying and Wilbur does have closeness to her as well. Cute as puppies might, it won't stop Wilbur from missing his mother.
Christian's scenes with Wilbur are undoubtedly the highlight of the episode. Well acted by Julian McMahon, there's an interesting fantasy sequence where Christian does tell Wilbur about Gina being dead only for the later reality being Christian settling for telling Wilbur that she won't be coming back. Can we have more Christian/Wilbur scenes of this calibre?
It's also funny in concern to Wilbur to have a teacher complain about him. You'd think Wilbur would be the kind of child that most teachers would love but Tabitha seems a little too determined to have Wilbur expelled for biting other students and the fact that he's recently lost a parent seems to have no impact on her decision.
Personally I think Tabitha comes across as being a bit weird and her story about Wilbur feels inconsistent. She talks about him being aggressive, yet he docile and she mention the principal contacting Christian about Wilbur when he clearly didn't. I'm not saying that it would be an improbable thing but I just don't trust this Tabitha woman.
I also had good reason not to when Christian had to sleep with her so she wouldn't kick Wilbur out. Was it a shock that the biter turned out to be her? Not really, she did seem nutty enough and her lack of remorse by getting her teeth capped to avoid arrest pissed me off. At least Christian was able to get her fired. That being said, why did Tabitha single Wilbur out? What's the poor kid ever done to her?
Of course the biter would be disturbing if this episode didn't produce two far crazier moments that a teacher who bites her pupils. Yes, Nip/Tuck came up with a water cooler set of yucky stuff right here.
First off you've got the patient of the week, Kyle Ainge. On the surface there seems to be nothing with him so it's intriguing to discover that when himself and his wife were fighting for survival, she ended up smacking on his arms. Cannibalism – as if I didn't have enough negative meat experiences watching Torchwood this week.
The problem with Kyle does go beyond being snacked on. Thanks to his wife's desperation to clean the slate by allowing him to snack, he winds up being infected with a disease and Sean wastes no time in pointing out the stupidity of her actions.
Of course, Kyle and his wife are small fry compared to the presence of Colleen. In a short space of time, Colleen has been successful in worming her way into Sean's professional life and she definitely has no problems with invading his personal life when Sean has to operate on her feet.
Worse still is that Colleen shows her evil streak when Bob tries to woo from her agency. In fairness, the Doctors Without Borders was a nice move and you had to admit that Colleen couldn't compete with that despite her savvy of the business.
The thing is, I knew that Colleen wouldn't take defeat gracefully but I didn't expect her to tie Bob to a chair and stuff him to death with a machine used for stuffing bears. How screw up was that little moment? Colleen definitely has graduate from stalker to full on whack job and if I were Sean, I would definitely tread carefully around the woman.
Colleen is quite the bad woman. Sharon Gless is so great in this role. On one hand, Colleen is incredibly creepy and you wouldn't want to get on her bad side but on the other hand, there's something weirdly sympathetic about her. In her own wacky way she seems to have Sean's best interests at heart but she also no chance in romancing Sean which is definitely her primary goal.
With Colleen around at least we have a solid. Not a vapid skank like Eden and also someone who actually can act to boot. I guess it really is the older women on this show who are more successful in playing villains. I wonder why that is.
Also in "Kyle Ainge"
Is it me or did Sean not only seem to know that Christian and Gina were screwing around, but he did seem angry by it? Perhaps he's hoping (like everyone else) that this will signal the end for Christian and Julia.
Christian: "Is the other boy going to be okay?"
Tabitha: "Oh, at this stage, they forget about these things twenty minutes later".
Couldn't Christian have contacted Tabitha's dentist and gotten X-rays regarding her capped teeth? I just hate the idea that that woman could be biting kids in another school she'll end up teaching in.
Sean: "Tell me what you don't like about yourself?"
Colleen: "Oh so good. The old hammer toe which I got from grinding the pavement on yours and other clients behalf".
Sean: "But you don't even know me"
Bob: "That's why we're here. To begin that process".
Colleen makes bears in her spare time and the Sean bear she made was creepy. Surely that should give Sean a hint about his agent?
Christian (to Gina's corpse): "For all the times I have wanted to kill you, this is not one of them".
HIV Guy (re Gina): "This addiction we have can ruin your life but in a weird way, it saved mine. It was the wake up call I needed and I wanna thank her for that".
Interesting that one of Gina's partners was female. I suppose there was that time in "Frankenlaura".
Tabitha (re biting): "I've never done that before. I guess you bring out the animal in me"
Christian: "You're the one who's biting the kids".
Sean (to Kyle's wife): "If your husband dies Mrs Ainge, you've got yourself to peck".
That line sounded more like something that Christian would say compared to Sean. It was a little harsh too even if Mrs Ainge deserved the smackdown.
Bob: "What the hell is this?"
Colleen: "It's what you people do. Eat people alive. Devour their souls and spirit".
Colleen (to Bob): "You will not take away my star. You will not take away my Sean".
No Julia, Olivia, Eden, Kimber, Matt, Jenna, Connor or Annie in this episode. Julia's absence was a bonus for this episode.
Sean: "What are you gonna tell Wilbur now that his teacher's left?"
Christian: "That she got picked up by a big tornado and taken far away".
Colleen: "Have any of the CAA tried to contact you?"
Sean: "Not a single one"
Standout music: "I Eat Cannibals" by Total Coleo and "Flesh For Fantasy" by Billy Idol.
Wilbur: "Daddy is Mommy ever coming back?"
Christian: "No honey, Mommy is never coming back".
Chronology: A day since "Magda And Jeff".
As a follow up to the brilliance of last week, I had to admit to enjoying "Kyle Ainge". Granted the cannibalism and bear stuffing might have been suited to different episodes but the manner of Christian dealing with Gina's death and his interactions with Wilbur made this a great episode.