Nip/Tuck

Julia: I don't want you to get the procedure done. The leg-lengthening. Not for me. Sawyer: I'm not just doing it for you. I'm doing it for us. Julia: There is no us, Marlowe. I am married. I've told you. Sawyer: I know. But you may not be forever. Look, Julia, I have never thought about doing something like this before. It's just… it's just that, in every other way, we're a perfect fit. And I just don't want the physical difference between us to stand in the way. Julia: How could you even think that? Whatever happens between me and Sean, there is not one thing that I would change about you. Not one.

Michelle: Do you have any idea what my life has been like? I'm thirty years old. I sleep next to a man who I have to feed and clean… Christian: Just how much money could he be leaving you, Mrs. Landau? A billion? Because after everything he's put you through, you couldn't possibly owe that old bastard a single thing. You wanna sacrifice yourself for some false sense of wifely obligation? Go ahead. You'll die a rich martyr.

Sean: You decided to find yourself a girlfriend and… poof! Poppy appeared. Liz: You hate her. Sean: No! I don't! I mean, who, Poppy? Liz: Did she say something? Sean: No. She may have been a little on the critical side. Liz: Of who? Of me? Well, it's just that she wants me to be the best me I can be. I mean, what did she say? That she was stuck with a big old fat pig? Sean: No… Liz: Oh my god! Sean: You're putting words in my mouth. Liz: Well, someone better because the ones you're not saying suck.

Poppy: I can never figure out what comes first with guys; the inflated ego or the small penis.

(Liz is undergoing surgery, Poppy suggests they do a few more procedures whilst Liz is under the anesthetic) Poppy: I'm not having her come down to the Keys with me looking like a Teletubby, alright? This is like Michelangelo and the David. We're just whittling away anything that isn't the true Liz. Christian: I think we're done whittling away for today. If she wants anything else done, it's not like she has to make a special trip.

Sean: A leg-lengthening procedure's not something I recommend, Marlowe. It's incredibly painful, risky and cost-prohibitive. Sawyer: I understand, but I'd still appreciate you walking me through it, so to speak. Sean: I have to ask. Why? Your stance on Conor's operation was pretty clear. Sawyer: A woman that I'm involved with… she's having some difficulty with the height disparity between us. Sean: If she needs you to put yourself through something like this, I strongly suggest she's not the one you want to spend the rest of your life with. Sawyer: In theory, I agree with you. You're right; it's insane. But so is love, you know?

Sean: Why don't you just go to a bar and pick someone up like you usually do? I'm sure there's another mother-daughter team out there somewhere. Christian: Nice. Sean: At least in a bar, what you see is what you get. Christian: Oh yeah, no risk there, just ask Lizzie.

Michelle: (after examining a drugged Christian) He knows who you are, James. If we take his kidney, he'll know it was you. James: Why stop at one? I wasn't planning on leaving him alive anyway. I'm not a fool. I know two charming Asian gentlemen who are absolute magicians at making bodies disappear. Michelle: You wouldn't do that. Not even you. James: It's harvest time, darling, and I am under a lot of pressure. I've been given twenty-four hours to meet my quota. Michelle: You think I'm going to let you get away with murdering him? I am not a killer. James: No, but your hands aren't exactly squeaky clean now, are they? Michelle: What do you want me to do? James: Find me a kidney in… (looks at her watch) twenty-one hours and I will keep him from being the next designated donor Michelle: There's nothing human left in you, is there? James: I'm keeping him alive, aren't I? For you. Tick tock, better hurry.

James: Let's face it, Christian, not every man can appreciate the experience of a perfectly aged single malt. Smoky scent, sweet and salty taste. Christian: Where do you get the balls to come up to me? James: It's inevitable, you and I. The same refined taste, in Scotch and in women. Don't you believe in fate? Christian: Only in Greek tragedy. James: I believe in critical mass. Tipping points, tiny straws that can break camel's backs. You've been trying to show me who's boss for some time, haven't you? Well, now's your chance.

Christian: Honey, I'm not looking to bond. So if you're here to cry boo-hoo over Michelle and then cuddle… James: Look at me, Christian. Do I seem like the cuddly type?

Christian: Sweetheart, you're two hours late. If you were a pizza, I'd get you for free. (He opens the door to find James standing there) James: That's because pizza gets cold. Some things get hotter the longer you wait for them.

Sean: I don't get it, Liz. Why now, when you've found someone who's obviously attracted to you as you are? Liz: I just think I'd be happier if I looked a little better. Christian: I think the whole world would be.

Liz: For your information, my girlfriend happens to be in great shape. Sean: Well, I didn't know you were seeing anybody. That's great, Liz. Christian: I didn't read the news today. Did hell freeze over?

Liz: I almost died, OK. But I didn't. I got a second chance and I'm not gonna blow it by spending the rest of my Saturday nights home eating Cherry Garcia. Christian: Can't the two of you just watch TV?

Sean: Tell me what you don't like about yourself. Christian: Just start at your head and work your way down. Liz: I just want a little lipo and… maybe some work around the eyes. Christian: Oh yeah, that ought to do it. Liz: Shut up, Christian.

Poppy: Trust me, in another week you won't even miss the caffeine. Liz: Honey, the patient is supposed to sleep through the surgery not the anesthesiologist. Poppy: Well, once we boost that metabolism of yours you'll be burning energy you didn't even know existed. Liz: She's got me in training. Sean: For the surgery? That's a good idea. Poppy: No, a 5k run three weeks later. Sean: I didn't know you ran. Liz: Me either.

Christian: Come on Lizzie, you know you love us too much to leave us. Liz: Try me. Furthermore, I don't want to hear one more snide remark about me, my girlfriend, or my physical shortcomings. I want the fat sucked out me and I want it sucked out now. Are you or are you not gonna do it?

Liz: You don't get points for keeping it real any more. Beauty has its privileges and dammit I want them! Sean: Thought it was different between women? Liz: Yeah, well maybe once upon a time. But in this culture, trust me, dyjkes today are the worst. If you don't have the body of a professional athlete, then you are a loser.

Michelle: It stopped being sweet the day you forced me to make love to another man in front of you. What ever love I had for you died that day. You don't do that to someone you love; you do that to something you own.

Christian: God gave me a dick and I intend to glorify him by playing that organ as intensely and as often as possible.

Michelle: You knew I loved Christian and all your money and power couldn't change that. Burt: Well you're here aren't you. If it wasn't the money and power, why'd you stay? Michelle: I stayed, because I pitied you.