Season 5 Episode 12

Lulu Grandiron

Aired Wednesday 10:00 PM Feb 05, 2008 on FX

Episode Fan Reviews (11)

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out of 10
146 votes
  • OK episode

    an average episode, not bad, but not very good either. There were many scenes that stood out but then there were many that didn't. It's interesting to see how season 5 changed from being a light hearted dramedy into a full blown dark drama with the addition of Colleen.

    For starters, her character now has a musical theme that plays almost everytime she's on screen, and oh, it is creepy!

    The issue I had with this episode was that it didn't really progress too much. Christian's silly adventure was rather predictable and disconnected from the rest of the episode. Colleen lying a bout her job was predictable too. But of course, still; the creepy atmosphere made this episode really good.

    Loved the ending with Eden going back to Ram and Kimber... as far as sleeping in their beds!

    However, nothing on Julia and Matt; what's up with that?

    The good evens out the not so good, so yes. Average episode.
  • Foreboding things to come.

    I liked this episode. The writers have really made an effort to develop the guest characters as much as they can before they get killed off. Colleen's is just plain creepy and it was further enhanced by her murder of Bob in her apartment. Who would have thought she was capable of it? The Kimber/Ram/Eden thing is something that is predictable. Cat fights between Kimber and Eden will just detract or maybe distract from something that is going to happen soon. I've watched this show from day one and have been impressed with it ever since. They've had a few "jump the shark" moments but for the majority of the time it has been entertaining. I don't think they need to pursue the Matt/Emmie thing. That could possibly be the swansong for the show. The undertones of the show referring to actual events and persons is just hilarious. When Christian was interviewing Lulu and her requests I just knew they were referring to the horrifically mutilated Jocelyne Wildenstein aka The Bride of Wildenstein. In any event it was still hilarious when she bleated from her bed, "I'm one hot pusssy".
  • Bad Kitty Written And Directed by Brad Falchuk

    Christian (to Sean, regarding Kimber/Eden): "There are seven signs to the apocalypse, right? Not two".

    Yes, Christian there are probably seven signs but with this screwed up show, the ration of psychos to normal folk is probably looking like 1000:1 so to speak. Never have there been two characters on TV that has attracted this amount of lunatic.

    It's also worthy to point out that when Christian and Sean are not attracting lunatics and **** they sure as hell behave like them too. Those two are like a walking advert for celibacy if there ever was one.

    Two psycho bints that refuse to leave the lads lives are Kimber and Eden. Only this time around the women have teamed up to do porn together, despite an on-set accident. Eden getting into porn is about as surprisingly as the misogyny Christian seems to spew nowadays.

    I mean Eden's the same girl who earlier on in the season bullied Annie into an eating disorder and sexual activity, bragging about teaching herself how to deep throat and was stupid to let her best gay freak goad her into getting unnecessary liposuction. For a girl who's been poisoning Julia, Eden is pretty damn stupid herself.

    It's pretty laughable that Sean is the only person who is shocked that Eden is doing porn. Then again it was also laughable how the writers retconned Sean's animosity for the girl so he could screw around with her. Christian on the other hand just has a go at Kimber for sucking Eden into a destructive industry. It's not that Christian gives a damn about Eden, it's just he enjoys belittling Kimber as best he can.

    The accident Eden has though is just a black eye. Eden apparently wanted to make her mark but Kimber ended up getting the wrong idea and left her with a shiner. Well Eden did tell Kimber to smack her one and goodness knows that someone needed to. What's really hilarious that aside from the punch, Kimber and Eden's little sex scene is actually tasteful. That's probably because for the last three years the writers have done nothing but dish out revolting sex scenes but it's also because it's nicely shot and almost art house. However given the premise behind the porn shoot, Kimber's just basically screwing herself.

    However while Christian has no desire to help Kimber out, Sean agrees to do the surgery because of Eden. I quite liked Kimber having a dig at Sean being the bigger star than Christian too. Regardless of it being nasty, I think Christian did deserve that, even if it came from Kimber of all people.

    Eden on the other hand is also one not to miss a trick. Her descent into porn has little to do with her over inflated ego or her predilection for the odd bit of cocaine but more down to her tryst with Aidan hitting the web. Because Kimber and Ram actively sought Eden, we're supposed to believe that she's some of a victim but in fairness, she's anything but.

    Sean might be stupid enough to believe her little sob story but I couldn't care less. Eden simply could've told Kimber and Ram to get lost if she didn't want to do porn but she didn't. Far as I can see, Eden's using this sink her claws back into Sean and by getting him as her knight in shining armour, Sean's enabling her.

    It also doesn't help that Anna Lynne McCord's acting still hasn't improved since her debut. Eden would be such a great duplicitous character if the actress wasn't so wooden in the role. Also you gotta remember that Eden really does have a vicious tongue on her when she feels like it.

    Now much as I love anyone (except Christian) insulting Kimber, is Eden really one to talk? Granted Eden hit home on Kimber's insecurity about being a sexual object but Eden isn't half as hot as she's like to think. There's also something strangely gratifying in watching Kimber threaten her. There are a lot of people that Kimber wouldn't stand a chance but I have a feeling she could eat Eden for breakfast if she wanted to. It's also the first time this season that I've managed to not be pissed off by the character.

    Kimber's not the only eyesore too. There's Ram being smart enough to figure out that Sean had a thing with Eden and using this to get free work done on his older ladies. Sean's way too eager to bail Eden out but at least Ram's goading ensures that Eden realises that she doesn't have a chance in getting back into Sean's bed.

    However Colleen is even more effective in putting a divide between Sean and Eden. She might be jealous and scary but she preys on Eden's insecurities when telling her that Sean saw her as nothing more than a piece of meat. I should feel for Eden at this point but crazy Colleen is more sympathetic. Eden should count herself lucky that Colleen didn't stuff her instead.

    To deal with Sean not loving her, Eden then renews her contract with Kimber and Ram and even sleeps with Ram while Kimber is still in the bed. Ram is a right wedge of sleaze but again, I still don't feel for Eden.

    As for Kimber, although I still do dislike her, it's nice to see her being more tolerable than usual. However I get the impression that she might be getting her own desserts over the Matt thing with the fact that Ram is a controlling bastard and I wouldn't be surprised if he overstepped the mark and became psychotically possessive of her. When Kimber is in porn she seems to be in her element. Her writing skills might suck tremendously but she has a savvy for what works and what doesn't and with Ram taking over her career, she might just end up making too many sacrifices. Why is it that no-one in this show is capable of picking a stable partner. Even Kimber has a penchant for choosing the wrong lovers (besides Christian).

    Getting back to the nutters of the episode, it was only a matter of time before Colleen would be exposed but with two episodes left; I was hoping the writers would leave it a little longer. I guess they must have something (hopefully better) up their sleeve to end things with.

    Psychotic or not, one thing that can't be denied is that Colleen is a very good agent. If she wasn't a lunatic she'd be every actor's best safety net. She takes interest in you as a person more than as a marketing machine, fights your corner and also sways you away from doing tacky adverts and sponsorship deals. The problem is that aside from being a nut job, she's also not an agent too.

    I guess that should've been apparent when Bob caught her out in a lie before she killed him but its Bliss who really exposes her for being a fake. For some reason Bliss takes an instant dislike to Colleen so I kept wondering whether or not Bliss would end up being another victim of the psycho lady.

    It turns out that Colleen really is just an obsessive fan of Sean and happens to be only a teddy bear saleslady. Given that Colleen has acted pretty erratically since the moment that Sean first met her, it's amazing that he uses this particular reveal to lay into her before telling her to get lost.

    Against my own better judgement I actually did sympathise a little with Colleen. Just like Ava and James, while her actions are beyond reprehensible, Sharon Gless is such a great actress she's able to convey just that fragment of sympathy for Colleen. I'm still disgusted by her behaviour but I'm also fascinated to know what really drove her to doing the things she has done.

    Sean was justified in being rude to her but at the same time; he's still caring about Eden so his judgement is still crap at best. Colleen trying to kill herself in Sean's apartment as he found her was a creepy end to the episode. Would the writers really finish Colleen up that quickly? I guess after the rushed way they offed Gina, anything is possible.

    On to the boring segment of the episode, Christian for the billionth time this season is still threatened by Sean's success. If Kimber laying into his sexual prowess and abilities as a surgeon wasn't bad enough, Colleen also told him that he stood no chance of becoming an actor. If there's another to like Colleen, I think it has to be that.

    While it's nice to have people believe in you, it's always not good to have that person bring out a reckless side to you also. Christian finds himself competing with other surgeons to end up working on an elite bunch of middle aged chicks with more money than sense. Apparently these ladies are responsible for the success of some of the Hollywood elite. I can just imagine some executive thinking there may be a show idea in there somewhere.

    Of course Christian lands the gig by showcasing his dick and while he's able to work on some of these hags, he makes the grave error in turning Lulu into a cat. Well she ask for feline features and because Christian is such a dolt nowadays, he's only too prepared to jeopardise his own medical licence in order to gain the tiniest bit of acclaim.

    Liz and the girls do threaten Christian before and after he does the operation and it's not too shocking to later learn that Lulu is bipolar and off her medication. The fact that Christian didn't even bother to check her records shows increased stupidity on his part. Amazingly Sean managed to not rip him a new one but then again his judgement is crap too.

    Also in "Lulu Grandiron"

    Colleen and Bliss argued at the start of the episode over beauty pageant and salad bar company ads. Sean wasn't impressed with either choice.

    Colleen (to Christian): "I just don't have the time to build a career for someone who's untrained and untalented"
    Sean: "Colleen!"
    Colleen: "It's true. Sorry honey".

    I found it rather weird that Christian didn't actually respond to that insult. He doesn't usually take criticism lightly.

    Christian (to Eden): "And sadomasochism came to mind?" Kimber: "That's the only way to make an impression in this business".

    Annette: "This reminds me of my last husband"
    Marla: "Isn't that the one you nicknamed 'is it in' yet?"

    Christian's competitors for the role of surgeon to that club included a set of twins and some older men. Of course, it's Christian's balls that got him in.

    Eden (to Kimber): "I may be new at this but even I know that it's youth that sells porn, no sentimentality".

    Kimber (to Eden): "Don't ever cross me baby girl or you'll regret it".

    Kimber is now writing her own porn scripts but Ram is only allowing her to film sex scenes with women. Controlling or what?

    Lulu: "You're not just a plastic surgeon. You're a modern day Michelangelo"
    Christian: "I wouldn't go that far. Roden maybe".

    Eden: "You're a liar"
    Colleen: "You may look down on me but do you really think I'm a liar?"

    Standout music: "Memories" by Waldeck and "The Edge" by David McCallum.

    Ram: "How's my baby doing?"
    Eden: "Good"
    Ram: "Welcome to the family".

    Chronology: A few days since "Kyle Ainge".

    "Lulu Grandiron" is a fairly interesting episode. There's a lot of great dialogue and the music is certainly one of the season's best. However while the plots remain discussion worthy, Christian's aggression towards Sean has gotten old at this point and sadly I don't see it stopping anytime soon.
  • I guess it's ok

    I don't say it's good, but compared to the other episodes of this season, is very good, and I think the best of all. A litlle bit.. stupid but very well balanced in the action flow. It didn't stop to surprise me, I didn't expect to happen what happened and those fifteen minutes passed very very fast. So that's a plus. I love Kimber so I'm glad she's back on track on the screen, so that's another plus. I'm also glad that that weird blonde woman is out of the picture (I sure hope so) so that's another plus. But still, the classics 1 2 and 3 seasons are the best. Nothing can compare to them.
  • I take it back.

    The last episode, to me, was a pretty bad one. I just felt like there was too much Colleen and too little anything else. And although a lot of the problems I adressed in my last review are still present here (i.e. Where's Olivia? Where's Julia? Where's Matt?) I think they did a much better job of interesting me in the storylines of Sean and Christian, which at the end of the day is the center of this show. Plus, I loved the re-appearance of Bliss Berger, and I loved the reveal with Colleen - I think it perfectly explained everything I had been questioned about her as an antagonist, and made me feel much better about it. Now I know why she had that giant stuffing machine.

    Plus, next weeks episode seems to be bringing back all the characters I've been wondering about.

    All in all, things seem to be falling into place for a fantastic end to an overall return to form for Nip/Tuck. The text of this series is just amazing.
  • Better than last week, still ridiculous.

    The first half of the episode, in a nutshell, was the usual soft core porn you come to expect from this show. The second half was more like the Nip/Tuck I used to love. Sean ends up fixing Eden's face after Kimber punches her during some silly porno shoot or sex thing I don't know, she goes to stay with him and he tells her they can't be together cause she's only 18 and he's like 46. Everyone will look down on them, he'll lose business blah blah blah. Ridiculous storyline, Sean was never sleazy like that. Christian messes up as per usual. He operates on a rich socialite who wants to look feline... (hmmm sounds like that real life rich socialite Jocelyne Wildenstein, she got a heap of surgery done to look feline...) turns out the patient has bipolar disorder and was off her meds at the time of her requesting a cat like look. Meanwhile Sean's publicist stumbles across Colleen and her bear stall. Sean finds out she's a phony and fires her. She is very distraught, I did feel sorry for her.. Christian, with the help of the whole gang, fixes the socialite's face and avoids being sued. Sean goes home, finds drops of blood everywhere, goes on his balcony and finds Colleen has attempted suicide.
  • Hmm. Eden and Kimber wrestle, Christian becomes a poor man's Julian Kaye, later becoming Ace Ventura; Colleen's tale goes completely beyond believability, and many plot-lines of the past have gone awol. This show has become downright awful.

    The 2008 carry-over of Season 5 has been a complete waste of time. From one week to the next, entire plot-lines disappear like Sara Tancredi. The last time we saw Julia ( a few weeks back, she looked as if she had weeks, even days left on the planet. But ever since Christian rattled Gina over the edge of the building, Julia's a topic for one of those "Whatever happened to..." documentaries. And if Olivia's gone, how was Eden able to poison Julia. And with medical professionals circling in and out of the show like ants on gum, how is it that no one is testing Julia for anything other than HIV?

    This brings us to this absolutely ridiculous episode called Lulu Grandiron. Detective Cagney somehow ends up convincing a very devious and strong-willed Eden back into the porn industry with Ram and Kimber. Christian becomes a hammer to the Real Housewives from Orange County, Eden and Kimber go girl-on-girl in a scene that looks like they're wearing lingerie out of a 1970s Sears catalog. And Kimber punches Eden hard enough to fracture her eye socket, and create a 4 inch long gash in her cheek? It's all so believable.

    The past 4-5 weeks have been so bad, that I do believe it's time to start watching Celebrity Rehab.

    Oh, and what about Nicole Kidman's agent who Colleen stuffed like a green pepper. One would think there would be some investigators asking questions. Following this show has become as difficult as following road signs in Ontario.
  • What's new, puddycat?

    The bigger the dick, the greater the confidence.

    Easily one of Christian's best monologues, I was thinking that evening was going to be just a little bit more awkward for him.

    I was sure one of Lulu's petals was going already to have encountered the dessert he served.

    See, I haven't forgotten that Christian earlier this season was banging cougars for cash and I was thinking that this was where they were going to revisit that storyline, which otherwise seems to have gone nowhere.

    But the pitting of plastic surgeons against one another (honestly, who brought Dr. I-Don't-Get-It to the table? His clearly goes inside of him when he stands up :P ) was fun.

    As for what he did to Lulu, I was thinking that this would be one of those situations when he'd absolutely call Sean into the consult, because Christian may have a 10-inch dick, but it's about as useful with a 10-blade as mine is.

    Lulu's bipolar consult pairs up with Bliss's "OMG!" call as peeling back the layers to reveal the truth. Lulu was so convincing. She was lucid and made historical references and wanted to reveal her feline nature within. When what she needed to reveal was her illness within. It's just too bad that Christian didn't sit her down in front of the computer and generate a few potential images, rather than just winging it, which is what he seemed to be doing (pausing the surgery to peer at different pictures of cats seems like he's winging it).

    However, I do not think Linda and Liz would abandon this poor woman. If anything they'd stay there to document the things they observed him doing. And Lulu couldn't sue even if she signed the agreement while manic. Anyway, the request was so ridiculous he should've sent her packing to the Doublemint Docs.

    Sean, meanwhile, is saddled with his own pack of grannies in trying to save Eden from herself. I'm not 100 percent clear on how Eden came to be hanging out with -- oh wait. I just posted "Eden came" :lol: -- anyway, how she came to be hanging out with Kimber and Ram in the first place, but frankly this is exactly the kind of thing she needed to be in rehab for. The crappy life decisions she's making, and the time she ought to take to explore them.

    Her entire approach to life is just a little bit too Blanche Dubois, and Sean just can't resist giving kindness to stange girls. He seems to want to save her, but we all saw his id foaming at the mouth earlier this season, suggesting that he just basically wants to shag her.

    And so he'll hack away at a few GILFs and she's still in bed with Kimber and Ram.

    Oh, life is not going well for Kimber. She and Julia should get together and form a support group: Women In Crappy Lighting. I loved her porn scene with Eden, tho. Very hot. But clearly if she's smacking her hard enough to bust an orbital, Kimber built up some serious rage for this girl.

    Stemming from Ram's solicitous nature, perhaps.

    Wonder what Jemma's up to. And Matt and Rachel. And Annie. And Conor. And oh, hey, how about Julia and her main squeeze Olivia?

    Hush, we'll get to them next season. Right now a crazy lady is bleeding all over Sean's apartment. If that's even her blood, and I shudder to think who else's it might be (has anyone seen Wilber or Lipo today?) :|

    That was an excellent reveal. Stripped of her agent persona, Colleen in little bear ears was a mild fluffikins. I wonder why she pretended to be an agent when frankly it's usually enough for someone like her (a fan who escapes the studio tour) to make a bear and have the star sign it or something. My guess is Lulu's not the only one off her meds.

    Revealing the inner truth. That everyone in L.A. is completely insane. :D
  • original as usual!! Sean sees the psycho in Colleen (finally) Eden is in the porn industry with Kimber and Ram, and asks sean for help. And Christian has some cat problems of his own.

    Loved the episode, as usual, the case of the week was super interesting! I kind of feel sorry for Christian, all he wants is to stop being a shadow of Sean's, he is not getting any younger, and for a vein person as himself that is hard!! Sean has always been known as the talent, so for him to be seen as the artist was blinding, he loved it!! I must say i did laugh at that dinner party when e showed them what makes a good surgeon ha ha ha!!! Sean on the other hand has problems of his own... first Eden, who is in business with Kimber and Ram and wants out of it,asks Sean for help to get out of her contract and in to his arms. He being the nice guy he is helps pof course, but tells Eden they cannot be together. Colleen prays on this and convinces Eden she is nothing but a toy to Sean... now those who know Sean should know the guy doesn't like toys... you shouldn't have listened to the psycho Eden. Speaking of the psycho, Who would have thought she had a teddy stand in the Mall???? what a way for Sean to find out, though i thought it was going to be something more dramatic, like possibly someone could have found the body of Mr Teddy Agent... now that would have been a cool way to discover she was a psycho, but oh well! What up with Julia?? and Matt?? I am dying to see how their stories are going! If only we had a little info i would have given this episode a perfect 10!
  • Hell No, Kitty!

    The Lulu Grandiron story was just what was missing from this season so far. All four women were classic Los Angeles cougars, pumped full of collagen and botox and attending social functions and dinner parties with their doting husbands and their plastic surgeon on speed-dial. Plus, the '80s soap queens playing the gals was genius casting. Donna Mills looked stunning (and surprisingly unspoilt by a bunch of plastic surgery like so many from her generation), while Joan Van Ark (despite wearing the face of a melting chupacabra) and the others were hilarious. I pegged the story was based on Jocelyn Wildenstein, that famous cat lady whose been left looking grotesque thanks to thousands of surgeries, in her desire to become cat-like. Donna Mills was excellent in the part, especially her hissing at the end as she saw her new face. The bipolar twist really surprised me too.

    By far the best surgery case this season, showcasing the talents of four women who have this charismatic, sensual appeal that fit Nip/Tuck perfectly. For ladies who worked for years on trashy soap operas like Knots Landing and Dallas, it's only right that they'd make a guest spot on the only truly overdramatic and trashy primetime drama on modern TV.

    Meanwhile, Sharon Gless continued to make an impression. Despite her actions last week, you can't help but feel a little bad for her when Bliss confronted Sean with his agent's true identity. Watching her as she realizes her scheme is over was so sad, as she stood there so pathetic and ordinary. Not the Hollywood power player she wanted everyone to believe. Thankfully the ending didn't feature her giggling uncontrollably while holding Leslie Grossman's severed head (which I seriously thought would happen), but instead it was something much sadder. I disliked last episode because of the extreme nature of all the storylines, but it was welcome that the writers started bringing some depth to Colleen, instead of just writing her off as a crazy old hag.

    While I appreciated Kimber coming back, I was a little peeved that her story involved Eden. Eden's a character who I just can't feel bad for. Are we supposed to feel sorry for her current predicament? It doesn't help that AnnaLynne McCord is so bad in the role either. Seriously, her scene with Colleen was like watching Sharon Gless act alongside a concrete block.

    Kimber's new relationship doesn't appear to be working wonders for her. She's on the meds, as well as being forced to share a bed with Lil' Ho. I loved seeing her as a shrewd businesswoman though, and the entire porn sequence she had with Eden was awesome. Not just in a purely perverted way (hee!), but the actual visuals and Kimber smacking her in the face were both great.

    A really impressive episode, especially considering last week's mess (at least in my opinion). Great guest stars, great surgery case, and a truly chilling cliffhanger.

    Director: Brad Falchuk
    Writer: Brad Falchuk
    Rating: A
  • Eden looks to Sean for help after getting into business with Kimber and Ram. A group of wealthy socialites hire Christian for all of their cosmetic surgery needs. Sean discovers another side of Colleen.

    Talk About Continuing Story Lines!. Season 4 Felt A Tad Bit All Over The Place. But This Season All The Story Lines Are Flowing Continuously. I definitely didn't see colleens secret coming out. Tonights episode was very intense. The hour just seemed to fly by. Does Anyone Else Agree That This Season Is Really Up There With The First Three? The dinner scene with christian and the women and other plastic surgeons brought me right back to season 2. For The Entire Scene The Confident Christian Troy Was Back!

    The Ending Scene Had Me On The Edge Of My Seat.... It felt just like the time sean met the carver. Really Crazy Stuff!