Season 1 Episode 1


Aired Wednesday 10:00 PM Jul 22, 2003 on FX



  • Trivia

    • The McNamara home is located at 1657 Essex Way.

    • Featured Music:

      "Lonely" by Bebel Gilberto (Christian driving in his car during opening credits)
      "Paint It Black" by Rolling Stones (during Perez's face surgery)
      "Truth or Dare" by N.E.R.D (Christian botoxing girls at the suite)
      "Panoptica" by Nortec Collective (When Escobar tortures Christian)
      "A Perfect Lie" by Engine Room
      "Giddy Up" by Indo

  • Quotes

    • Christian: (in Spanish) Mr. Perez, my partner thinks you have a body dysmorphic disorder. I do not. I don't think you hate your body… I think you're running. 4525 Collins is not a residence; it's the Eden Roc Hotel. I'm quite fond of the happy hour tapas there. (in English) You wanna talk about the real reason you breezed into town? And do me a favour, Mr. Perez, when you answer, drop the no hablo English bullshit. It doesn't add to my confusion about your predicament, it only highlights your own. I'm a doctor; what you tell me during consultation is confidential.
      Silvio Perez: I prefer to let my money talk.
      (He puts a large briefcase on the table)
      Christian: Nice alligator.
      (He opens the briefcase to show a lot of money)
      Silvio Perez: Twenty thousand dollars, according to your website. That's your fee.
      Christian: Funny isn't it? How certain things from Colombia have that pungent aroma that can stink up a room. Coffee, for instance, and of course there's the cartel money.
      Silvio Perez: I'm not Colombian. My brother and I, we are Argentinean.
      Christian: Mr. Perez, if you were Argentinean, I wouldn't have to recommend porcelain veneers. It's the only South American country with fluoride in the water. One last time, why are you running?
      Silvio Perez: I was with the boss' girl.
      Christian: Mr. Perez, you cad.

    • Miss Michaels: (to Sean, as she leaves) The next time you've got some little size four on your table, and you're giving her liposuction she really doesn't need, you think of my Joey and what you could have done for him. Shame on you.

    • Christian: You think a big change like this will be easy? It will not. You want a change? Great. Do the nip-and-tuck route. Subtle, almost imperceptible shifts. Isn't that what you recommend to all your patients? But don't delude yourself into thinking that you have the time or the patience for an entire life lift. We're not twenty-seven anymore, we're forty, and, brother, we're on the cusp of the American dream!
      Sean: It's not my dream anymore.

    • Sean: When I come home, you're stone. You don't show me any respect, even though I think the life I've given you is pretty goddamn sweet!
      Julia: YOU GAVE ME NOTHING! I made this life with you. Did you think this is what I wanted? To be some Stepford doctor's wife? It's not.
      Sean: Well, then change your life! Change it like I'm changing mine.
      Julia: This isn't change, Sean. This is a whim.

    • Sean: (on phone) I'm quitting! I'm starting over before it's too late!
      Christian: Are you at home, Sean? I'm gonna come over. We can talk…
      Sean: (on phone) It's my turn to talk now, Christian, OK? The mute finally speaks! So listen up! Thank you for using your cock as a lure to get emotionally damaged young women into our office. That's a brilliant sales ploy! Thank you for being so ruthlessly ambitious that you would gladly accept drug money. A business transaction, by the way, that could lead the Feds straight to our front door. Maybe you want to have your medical license revoked and spend your forties taking it up the ass in prison, but I do not!
      Christian: I'm losing you…
      Sean: (on phone) DO NOT HANG UP ON ME! I'M JUST GETTING STARTED! Thank you for becoming so repugnant to me that I'm finally taking charge of my life.

    • Christian: During our consultation, your brother said he was with the boss' girl. How old was she?
      Alejandro Perez: She was six.

    • Sean: Matt, why did you go to Christian with your concerns instead of me?
      Matt: Because he's cooler than you, and he listens to me. I don't get that 'father knows best' bullshit from him. He treats me like a man.

    • (Christian and Sean discuss Matt wanting to be circumcised)
      Sean: He doesn't need a circumcision. It's a vanity operation.
      Christian: We're in the vanity business, Sean, it's what we do. Appearance is everything to a kid. It's how you fit in. Snip, snip… he feels better about himself and you, sir, can make that happen. How cool is fatherhood?
      Sean: I'm not doing anything to my son's penis or my wife's breasts. I don't want my family infected by what we do here.

    • Christian: (to Kimber) Let your shortcomings and flaws fuel you. Let them push you further than you ever thought you could go.

    • Christian: (marking Kimber's 'flaws' with lipstick) Beauty is symmetry. Your right eye is half a millimetre higher you're your left, we could probably fix that with a malar augmentation, it's a cheekbone enhancement. I'd give you Botox here and here. That should provide a good life. Are you Irish?
      Kimber: Part.
      Christian: That explains the slightly flat boxer nose. We could shave the cartilege… give you that Christy Turlington thing. And the breasts could go one size bigger, a low C, and you could finish off with some abdominal… (Kimber looks down; Christian moves her head back up) could finish off with some abdominal lipo. Pretty much.
      (Christian turns Kimber round to face a mirror; she gasps when she sees what he's marked on her)
      Christian: These are your problem areas.
      Kimber: (after a pause) Am I really this ugly? I was Homecoming Queen.

    • Christian: You're a very pretty girl, Kimber.
      Kimber: I don't want to be pretty. I want to be better. I want to be perfect.

    • Christian: Of course, it takes a lot of discipline and work to get there, to be perfect. But you fix the flaws and you could absolutely be a ten.
      Kimber: Well, what am I now?
      Christian: You're an eight.

    • Christian: You know, there are advantages to having a bouncer boyfriend. You never have to wait behind a velvet rope.
      Kimber: Please. You think a girl like me has to wait? Like last weekend… my girls and I, we went to that new club, Rendezvous, and the club owner says to me 'right this way, ten'. The perfect ten; that's what he calls me.

    • Celia: Where's your partner? I said I wanted two doctors. There are ten girls here.
      Christian: I've done ten women before.

    • Sean: What do you do all day, Julia? You shop. You get your vagina waxed like some porn star.

    • Christian: (to Sean) So I hear your marriage jumped the shark last week. My condolences.

    • Sean: I'm a surgeon. If I get emotional, patients die.
      Julia: I'm not one of your patients Sean! I'm your wife!

    • (Julia throws a plate at Sean which hits the wall and breaks)
      Sean: What the hell is it with people in this house throwing things at my head?
      Julia: Finally, some passion! Congratulations! You're not bloodless after all!

    • Sean: For 10 years, I've been consumed with transforming other people! Starting today, I'm transforming myself!

    • (Matt suggests going into surgery to circumcise his penis)
      Christian: Like it or not, we have to talk to your dad about this. You're under 18, he has to sign a consent form.
      Matt: Yeah, he'll never go for it, he's such an asshole.
      Christian: Hey, don't call your father that, you don't know how lucky you've got it. Besides, robots can't be assholes.

    • Julia: (to Sean during an argument) This marriage doesn't even have a pulse anymore!

    • Christian: When you stop striving for perfection you might as well be dead.

    • Christian: What is it that we're doing, Sean, other than make people feel good about themselves?
      Sean: What we do is let people externalize the hatred they feel about themselves. Which is why I want to hire a full time psychologist to screen people better.
      Christian: Oh great. And lets do yoga in the lobby, too.

    • Sean: Check out this bombshell. We're getting ready this morning, and Julia tells me she wants her breasts done.
      Christian: If you're thinking conflict of interest, I'd like to volunteer my services.
      Sean: Still have a crush on the misses, do we?
      Christian: Let the records show that I dated her first and passed off my sloppy seconds to you.

    • Christian: Tell me what you don't like about yourself

    • Liz: Ass implants. What will they think of next?

      Sean: (re: butt implant)This implant. You put it in upside down
      Christian: You save my ass again.

      Sean: You're shaving too deep
      Christian: It's fine
      Sean: Do you want it fine, or do you want it perfect?

      Sean: We have mice.
      Julia: That's not a mouse, Sean. That's Frisky the gerbil. It escaped from its cage.
      Sean: Did you try and catch it?
      Julia: I would've, but I was too busy cleaning up the trail of shit it left everywhere.

    • Liz: (to Kimber about Christian) If it's any consolation to you, honey, you're not the first girl he's done this to. But at least you got a good set of tits out of it so heal in more way than one and just go on with your life.

    • Christian: Can I buy you a drink?
      Kimber: I don't drink. (takes a sip of her drink)
      Christian: May I buy you an appetizer?
      Kimber: I don't eat, I'm a model.

  • Notes

    • Raymond Cruz (Alejandro) also worked with Robert LaSardo (Escobar) in the 1991 movie Out For Justice.

    • Raymond Cruz (Alejandro) and Geoffrey Rivas (Silvio) also worked together in the 1993 movie Bound By Honor.

    • Raymond Cruz (Alejandro) and Joanna Sanchez (Rosa) also worked together in the 1996 movie Up Close And Personal.

    • Geoffrey Rivas (Silvio) also worked with Dylan Walsh (Sean) in the pilot of Brooklyn South.

    • Geoffrey Rivas (Silvio) also worked with Roma Maffia (Liz) in the season 3 episode "Fight Night" of CSI.

    • Geoffrey Rivas (Silvio) and Joanna Sanchez (Rosa) also worked together in the 1993 TV movie Blind Side.

    • Joanna Sanchez (Rosa) also worked with Dylan Walsh (Sean) in the episode "Wild Irish Woes" of Brooklyn South.

    • John Hensley (Matt) plays Dylan Walsh (Sean) and Joely Richardson (Julia)'s son, even though Hensley's 14 years younger than him, and 12 years younger than her.

    • This episode won the 2004 Emmy Award for Outstanding Makeup for a Series, Miniseries, Movie Or A Special (Prosthetic), and, the 2004 Hollywood Makeup Artist And Hair Stylist Guild Award for Best Special Makeup Effects-Television Series. Plus, it was nominated for the 2004 Emmy Award for Outstanding Directing For A Drama Series, and, for the 2004 Artios Award for Best TV Casting For Dramatic Pilot.

    • In the Latin-America version, called "Cortes y Punzadas", the voice who translates "Christian", is the same who translated "Cole" from "Charmed" (both characters are played by Julian McMahon). The same is true of the German version.

    • In Germany this episode was called: "McNamara / Troy". It is assumable that all other episodes will keep their original title.

    • The 66-minute pilot runs 90 minutes compared to the usual one hour (44-minute) episodes.

    • Roma and Julian co-starred together on the show Profiler.

    • Joely Richardson's character, Claire McNamara, was changed to Julia McNamara.

    • Julian's character was originally named Christian Vega but was changed to Christian Troy.

  • Allusions

    • Christian's boat is named "The Boatox".

      Botox is an anti-wrinkle drug.

    • Julia: Things, Dr. Spock did not write a chapter about.

      Dr. Benjamin Spock (1903-1998), an American paediatrician, wrote a best-selling book called The Common Sense Book Of Baby And Child Care (whose first edition was published in 1946) which is often seen as a parenting handbook.

    • Julia: You think I wanted to be some Stepford doctor's wife?

      This comes from the 1972 book "The Stepford Wives" by Ira Levin. In the book, the husbands of Stepford, Connecticut, have all their wives replaced by submissive, obedient, beautiful and perfect robots.

    • Christian: So I hear your marriage jumped the shark last week. The origin of this phrase comes from an episode of Happy Days. In the episode "Hollywood (3)", Fonzie ski jumped over a shark. This was considered the low point for the show. The phrase 'jump the shark' is now used to denote the point where the plot goes off into absurd story lines or out-of-the-ordinary situations. Shows or things that have "jumped the shark" are typically past their peak.

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