Shelly: (opening presents) A breast pump.
Marilyn: It has a nipple stimulator.
Shelly: This morning I looked at myself and said "Shelly Tambo Vincoeur, you are in for the ride of your life!"
Shelly: I can watch Wheel of Fortune and grow a liver at the same time.
Holling: We haven't had a wild dog thing since 1957!
Holling: You scared the b-blazes out of me!
Shelly: Alea iacta est, babe!
Holling: I was setting off firecrackers at my own baby shower. I should have been with Shelly, sharing the moment with her, making sure she was happy.
Chris: Yeah. (pause) Don't worry man, we'll find her.
Maurice: Thank God you can still walk into a store in Mexico and buy firecrackers.
Chris: Yeah, amphetamines too.
Chris: Shelly Tambo Vincoeur is recovering nicely after her Hansel-and-Gretelesque adventure. Here's to you, Shelly. You're more of a woman than I'll ever be.
Chris: I'm trying to get close to my inner womanness.
Eve: Then go out and cut your salary in half.
Chris: Is that a medical or sociological term, brooding?
Maggie: Neither, it's a sexist one.
Maggie: I just don't understand why the whole world revolves around them. They can't tell jokes. They don't have opinions.
Maggie: I hate babies! Well maybe hate's too strong a word. I strongly dislike them.
Ed: You'd be a really good mom.
Maggie: How can you tell?
Ed: The way you take care of your plane.
Maggie: A plane is different.
Ed: Now I have to find a new agent!
Maurice: Ed, what's the matter with you? A man's dead here!
Judd Bromell: (leaving on his wilderness adventure) Stay cool, man.
Ed: Yeah, you stay warm.
Judd Bromell: Does he have to be a shaman? I mean is that set in stone?
Ed: It's called The Shaman!
Ed: I have to come up with a list of casting choices!
Ruth-Anne: You better take the morning off.
Ruth-Anne: Oh, you mean your screenplay about the shaman? What was it called?
Ed: The Shaman.
Olympias: Stay home, I tell him. Settle for Alexander the Pretty Good. Alexander the Exceptional, even! But instead he goes off to India and I never see him again.
Mother Nature: One thing that keeps you from dropping your kids in the nearest volcano is that you had work so hard to get them. You had to cry, you had to scream, you had to sweat, you had to cuss out health care officials.
Mother Nature: Sit down and we can talk about all the things you're scared of.
Shelly: Scared of?
Mother Nature: Like childbirth, being responsible for a living creature, losing your identity, losing your attractiveness to your husband...
Shelly: You know about that?
Mother Nature: Like if I don't who does?
Shelly: (dreaming she meets a young black woman in the woods) You're Mother Nature?
Mother Nature: You be havin' a problem with that?
Maggie: I'm not mad at you Fleischman. I know, in your artless, flat-footed sort of way you were trying to be kind.
Joel: Thanks. I was.
Chris: It's funny, to me, the way people refer to childbirth as a miraculous event. A miracle is something that defies nature. Only, childbirth has got to be the most natural thing in the world. Top three anyway. But, on the other hand, when you thing about it, there's really no other word that fits. Sperm. Egg. A coincidental meshing of genetic information that will grow something that could write an opera or cook up some Napalm. It blows my mind.
Ed: Like Woody Allen says 'It's worse than dog eat dog. It's dog doesn't return dog's phone calls'.
- "Each Night at Nine" by Floyd Tillman
- "Stir It Up" by Johnny Nash
- "Dice Behind Your Shades" by Paul Westerberg
- "Crescent City" by Lucinda Williams
- "Hymn to Her" by The Pretenders