Earl: (Chris is bothering a guy named Mike) We know your ship's adrift, but Mike didn't cut the rope.
Ed: There's some of you in there.
Maurice: (to the wax model) People would line up across Alaska to fill my shoes. But here I am standing talking to you.
Maurice: (after Chris leaves, to the wax dummy) That's one troubled puppy, huh? (suddenly looks sheepish)
Chris: If I sound a little strange, it's 'cause I am.
Chris: I'm just not prepared to pull that much time on Planet X!
Chris: I'm so "okay" I'm gonna live another 1000 years!
Maurice: (about his wax double) It's flawless! Ruth-Anne: That's one way of putting it.
Holling: I wouldn't miss this for a sleigh ride!
Chris: Chris Stevens gets a reprieve, a midnight phone call from the governor!
Dr. Summer: (only the second dentist to examine Chris in 31 years) Considering the neglect, there's a remarkable lack of activity in your mouth.
Dr. Summer: We make a pact, you know. You promise to brush, you promise to floss, but you don't brush, you don't floss.
(Ruth-Anne makes an excuse to avoid talking to the dentist) Dr. Summer: She probably thinks we're going to crown those bicuspids. (pause) She's right, too.
Dr. Summer: Hi, Shelly. Shelly: (continuing to walk right past him) Hi Doc Summer, long time no see. Dr. Summer: I see you've got one in the oven. Shelly: Yeah, but he doesn't have teeth yet.
Chris: You know what you are Earl? You're a little, tiny, busy ant. You too, Mike. Both you guys, with your mortgages and your term life insurance and your Weber kettles. Ant. Ant. All of you, you're all a bunch of little, busy, blind ants. All you all. Saving up for your rainy days. Scratching up your acorns for the winter. You look at me and you think, "What a piece of pathetic trash out there in that leaky trailer." No spoon, no fork, no prospects. But, you know why? Cause I'm a grasshopper. Ant. Grasshopper. Ant. Grasshopper. Ant. Grasshopper. Ant. Grasshopper. (pokes Holling) Ant! Holling: Now I wish you hadn't done that, Chris. Chris: Ant...Ant. Holling: I'm gonna have to 86 you. Chris: You're throwing me out? Holling: Keep your butt out of here until you settle down some...grasshopper.
Rob Morrow "Dr. Joel Fleischman" does not appear in this episode.
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