Joel: What I realized over the last week is, you're my community. So if you will all bear with me...(starts to put on prayer shawl, Ed raises his hand) Joel: Yes, Ed? Ed: You want we should all wear beanies, Dr. Fleischman?
Bernard: My first chance to feel pain and inflict bodily harm, and what do I do, I send them packing.
"Wandering Jew": Come on, we're packing strudel but it won't keep.
Shelly: Go ahead, be an elk! Be a whole flock of elk if you want to!
Bernard: I have this recurring nightmare of rednecks chasing me with sheets. You're the guys! You're the ones who tried to lynch me! All this time I thought it was some kind of racial anxiety. Turns out it was a family thing. Chris: Huh. Holling, another round for my 'lansmen.
Joel: Ed, you actually knocked! Ed: Oh yeah, guess I did. Sorry.
Maurice: Joel wants to say Kaddish, but he can't do it without 9 other Jews. Shelly: Why? Maurice: Well what do I look like, Tevya? Shelly: Who? Ed: Fiddler on the Roof.
Chris: You never sent someone to the hospital before? You have your own bridgework and all your own teeth? Bernard: Yes! Chris: Really?!
Chris: I don't write the facts, I just repeat 'em.
Marilyn: (about her old partner) I fired him. He didn't want it enough.
Chris: This is my brother Bernard. Miller: Brother? Chris: Yeah, it's a long story.
Joel: You need nine guys on a field to play baseball and ten Jews in a room to say Kaddish.
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