Not Going Out

Season 1 Episode 5

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Aired Friday 10:00 PM Nov 03, 2006 on BBC
8.3
out of 10
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Kate and Lee are forced to take in a lodger, a surly 14-year-old boy called Nicky. Lee's attempts to bond with the teenager prove less than successful, while Tim and Nicky discover they have quite a lot in common. Meanwhile, Kate tries to persuade a carnivorous Great Dane to become a vegetarian with unfortunate results.moreless

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    • TRIVIA (0)

    • QUOTES (22)

      • Tim: It's like Lassie Come Home, if it had been directed by Tim Burton.

      • Nicky: Well actually the full title is, My Mistake, brackets, I left you for another, I'm a silly old accountant. If only you could get over my mistakes with Emma. Close brackets.
        Lee: That's actually quite clever. Brackets. You little shit. Close brackets.

      • Lee: I bet your generation have never even heard of Pac Man.
        Nicky: Isn't he the bloke that presents Newsnight?

      • Lee: What you playing? Resident Evil.
        Nicky: It's a car game.
        Lee: Sorry, I'll start again. Are you playing a car game, Resident Evil???? How are you getting on?
        Nicky: I'm on level 28.
        Lee: Wow. They get bigger and bigger these multi-storey car parks.

      • Tim: Alright, I'll admit it. She wasn't stunning but she had something about her. She had the X Factor.
        Lee: Yeah that's why Kate is your ex, because you facked her.

      • Tim: She wasn't cross eyed.
        Lee: Well she must have had something very interesting on the bottom of her nose.

      • Tim: The point is with Nicky, you've got to make a connection by compromising and being selfless.
        Lee: I suppose I could buy him a present.
        Tim: Or you could just ignore everything I've said and throw money at the problem.

      • Lee: Anyway, you're not that great with kids. Remember last Christmas on that train? Those kids messing about and their parents at their wits ends. What did you say? Father Christmas doesn't visit the bad children.
        Tim: How was I to know they were orthodox Jews?
        Lee: The big black hats? the ringlets?

      • Tim: All Nicky needs is a bit of attention and respect.
        Lee: You forgot about tobacco, mascara and the ascension of the anti-Christ.

      • Lee: What's wrong with leaving a 14 year old on his own. I was always on my own at 14.
        Tim: Yeah, that's chimney sweeping for you.

      • Lee: Tim, you've always been middle aged. You were born middle aged. For you life really did begin at 40.
        Tim: It's better than life beginning in a Threshers car park in Chorley.

      • Lee: What was the problem? You're an accountant approaching middle age who thinks claiming a cheese sandwich on your expenses is a walk on the wild side.

      • Lee: Timothy. The wit of Oscar Wilde and the success with women of a Premier League footballer. Oh, hang on. It's the other way around.

      • Lee: Here's me best mate Tim.
        Tim: Best, only. It's a fine line.

      • Kate: There's no 'I' in team spirit.
        Lee: Yer there is. There's two,
        Kate: I meant there's no 'I' in teamwork. Come on, stay here get to know Nicky.
        Lee: There's no 'F' in way.

      • Kate: Right, who thinks veggie burgers are a good idea?
        Lee: Cows.

      • Kate: Hey, you guys! We're gonna have such a fun time. I bet you have loads of stuff in common. What do you like doing?
        Nicky: Nothing.
        Kate: There you go. That's a start.

      • Lee: Hang on. I'm not paying you rent every month...........Actually I'm not am I?

      • Lee: I'm awful with kids.
        Kate: No you're not. You're awful with people, including kids.

      • Lee: We can't have kids staying here.
        Kate: Why not?
        Lee: Because he'll wet the bet and smell of biscuits.
        Kate: You'll have that in common then won't ya.

      • Kate: His mum and dad are friends of mine and they're going to a wedding in the Caribbean.
        Lee: Sounds horrendous.
        Kate: Why? It'll be beautiful.
        Lee: No I mean the way you pronounce Caribbean.

      • Kid: Trick or treat?
        Lee: Get off me doorstep. We're not in America.
        Kid: There's nothing wrong with adopting a bit of American culture.
        Lee: Alright, get of me doorstep or I'll shoot ya.

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