Not Going Out Season 1 Episode 4

Tim: Give me one good reason why you'd risk being addicted to tranquillisers?
Lee: Tim, how long have we known each other?
Tim: Fifteen years.
Lee: There you go. Do you need another one?

Lee: Well don't look at me like that.
Tim: Like what?
Lee: Like I've just told you I'm nipping to the bogs for cocaine, lend me your credit card.
Tim: Surely you'd have to pay cash.
Lee: You've led a sheltered life haven't you?

Tim: What next? You've tried yoga and acupuncture. You could say you've bent over backwards and still not hit the nail on the head.

Lee: If someone says something to you enough times you eventually become the thing you're being accused of.
Tim: You're quite intelligent sometimes aren't you?
Lee: Thank you.
Tim: You're quite intelligent sometimes aren't you? No it's not working.

Lee: Does this actually work?
Acupuncturist: Of course it works. Acupuncture's been around for thousands of years.
Lee: So's Christmas, syphilis and France and I don't them much either.
Acupuncturist: My husband's French
Lee: I won't ask you what he gave you for Christmas.

Kate: Why don't we just forget the breathing thing?
Lee: Good idea.
Kate: I mean for about three days.

Kate: We'll start with some breathing, In, Out, In Out.
Lee: I'm never gonna remember this can I write it down?
Kate: I'm teaching you Yoga, writing tomorrow.

Tim: I might phone her. Offer my services.
Lee: Sounds like a good idea. You want to teach her to driver, she wishes you were dead. Kill two birds with one stone.

Tim: That's not an explanation, it's just the same words in a different order.

Tim: 20 cups of coffee a day? How do you sleep at night?
Lee: Easy. It's fair trade.

Tim: Are you the kind of person who jumps the gun before carefully weighing up all the options.
Lee: No.
Tim: Hang on, it's multiple choice.

Tim: No rush. How long's left on that tax disc?

Kate: I'm never gonna pass my test am I?
Tim: I don't know Kate, you'll end up walking it. Bit like your examiner if he's got any sense.