Numb3rs Season 2 Episode 5

Don: Charlie, when are you gonna start living your own life and realize Dad can take care of himself? Look, I'll tell you what, you help me catch this guy and I-I'll go to Aunt Irene's next party, all right?
Charlie: Deal.

Charlie:Just a, uh, word of advice.
Don: Yeah.
Charlie: Make yourself scarce when the slow music starts.
Don: Oh. Dad, you're the designated dancer.
Alan: No, she hates me.

Charlie: Why don't you ask Don?
Alan: No, Don's too busy.
Charlie: I'm busy, too.
Alan: Yeah, I didn't mean it that way. Anyway, this isn't about you, it's about me.
Charlie: Yeah.
Alan: (as he walks away) You do realize who has to dance with her now.

Charlie: Hide and seek.
Don: What are you talking about, like the kids' version?
Charlie: A mathematical approach to it, yes. See, the assassin must hide in order to accomplish his goal, we must seek and find the assassin before he achieves that goal.
Megan: Ah, behavioral game theory, yeah, we studied this at Quantico.
Charlie: I doubt you studied it the way that Rubenstein, Taversky and Heller studied two person constant sum hide and seek with unique mixed strategy equilibria.
Megan: No, not quite that way.
Don: Just bear with him.

Charlie: Aunt Irene hates you.
Alan: No, she doesn't hate me. She was just a little disappointed at your mother's choice of spouse.

Don: So, does that make me a three-step thinker?
Charlie: You keep working with me, you'll get there soon enough.
Don: Shut up.

Colby: You assaulted a federal agent with a deadly weapon.
Henry: It was a Volkswagen.

Charlie: What are you doing here?
Don: Hey. Well, I'm ready to party like it's 1899.

Don: So what does all your behavioral science training tell you about a grown man who still lives with his mother?
Megan: Probably about the same as two brothers still mooching meals at their dad's house three nights a week.
Don: Hey, technically it's my brother's house, but o-okay, Megan, I-I see how it's gonna be.
Megan (grins): I just call 'em like I see 'em.
Don: Uh huh, all right.

Alan: (to Charlie on assassinations) When it's done right you never do find out who did it. Kennedy...Dallas...'63. They're still waiting for an answer on that one.

Don: (catching paper airplane) Who made this?
Charlie: Me. Why?
Don: Wings are a little thin here buddy.
Charlie: Forgive me if all my years of advanced applied mathematics take issue with that assessment.
Don: Yeah... well... you'll forgive me if all my years of high school detention say I'm right . Go ahead... you make those wings wider... it'll fly.

Charlie: Basic rule of secret assassination... be the first respondent. I think you were face-to-face with Condor.

Alan: See, Charlie, the thing about kids is... you can't make them into what you want.

Larry: How'd you come by all this hard data on assassination techniques?
Charlie: I have a friend at the NSA who has a friend at the CIA.
Larry: Yeah, don't even tell me.

Amita: Charlie, where did you learn all this stuff about assassination?
Charlie: If I told you that, I'd have to kill you.
Amita: Okay, seriously...
Charlie: Seriously.