Jack is told by his new job counselor that his new employer needs an honest man and is asked to swear to be honest by his left and right testicles. With that, Jack is given the job of an apprentice locksmithee.
Jack blogs that most people are not entirely honest and that ninety eight percent of the statistics he quotes are made up.
Jack goes to Eli's Good Locks and sees that Eli, who goes by Fingers, has no eyeballs. Eli relates that on a previous job, he took a necklace but slipped on its pieces and impaled his eyes on a unicorn statue and ruined his hands as well. Eli says he runs an honest business now and says he'll keep Jack on the right path.
Jack and Eli go to a mansion where the owner has lost the key to his safe. Jack realizes he has misplaced his lock pick and Eli literally coughs one up to use along with the other needed tool. Jack opens the safe and charges the owner seventy five dollars with nothing more in keeping with Eli's honesty motto.
At Leopold's place, Bobby Lee and Leopold are watching a late night movie marathon with one focused on a bank robbery. They discuss how to pull the perfect bank robbery and they decide to bring in a group of experts to work with them on doing one.
Jack and Eli are brought in to open a briefcase for a mobster whose previous owner is deceased and lying in a trunk next to the briefcase. Jack declines and the mobster has him whisked away with Eli unaware what is going on. A dishonest locksmith tries to get Jack to change his ways but when Jack refuses, he is thrown in the trunk of a limo and the limo is driven into a river. Jack coughs up a lock pick, gets out of the limo and returns to Eli's shop.
Bobby Lee and Leopold recruit an expert climber and a security system expert for their planned heist. Bobby Lee asks a hot dog vendor at a race track to drive the getaway car but is unaware the kid just got his learner's permit. Leopold interviews a man who says he can cause any kind of distraction and after the man summons a number of falcons to attack Leopold, Leopold shrieks that he has the job.
Eli and Jack visit the mayor, who wants them to open a safe full of erectile dysfunction medication. The mayor pays Jack one hundred dollars but Jack refuses to take hush money to not talk about the bound man. The bound man says he's a bank manager and wants to talk to Jack on the upcoming Thursday about a security issue.
At the bank, the manager shows Jack the world's most impenetrable lock he created for the bank vault. Jack manages to open it though in a single try and the manager shows him a picture of Bobby saying he's been seen skulking around the bank recently. Jack feigns ignorance and eventually runs away even as the manager shows him more pictures and a found calendar indicating Bobby is planning to rob the bank.
At Leo's place, Bobby and Leo gives out nicknames to the crew and decide to wear tan leather jumpsuits for the heist with Leo wearing insulation from his apartment to alleviate his agoraphobia. Bobby demonstrates what will happen to anybody who snitches about the robbery.
At Eli's lock shop, Jack tells Eli that he knows his friends are about to rob the bank and wonders what to do. Eli suggests Jack take the money before his friends do the heist and return it later to protect their reputation and the bank at the same time. Jack says he'll do it.
Bobby and Leo arrange for the crowd outside the bank to be distracted by bubbles while hey sneak inside. Meanwhile, Jack goes inside to get the money. Bobby, Leo and the gang slide down a rope to the bank roof while Jack uses a phony excuse to get into the bank fault. Leo sabotages the video feed and Jack takes some money out of the vault. One of the thieves manages to neutralize the infrared beam system and Jack takes more money to Eli in the van and Eli suggests Jack go back to the vault to explain things to his friends.
Bobby, Leo and thieves sneak by the guards using camouflage and go into the vault where they discover it is empty and Jack telling them he took all the money. Bobby and Leo says it was never about the money but Jack discovers Eli has double crossed him. The thieves separate with Bobby, Leo and Jack escaping and the other thieves gunned down along with the bank manager though one escapes.
Bobby and Leo settle in to watch a British period drama movie back at Leo's apartment and Jack discovers his real job counselor had been locked in a closet all along while the fake counselor drives away in the van with Eli and the bank money.