Only Fools and Horses

Albert: (to Del, pondering how to work the new video recorder) I thought you said an idiot could programme it? Del: Oh, yeah...Rod-ney!!

Boycie: Derek popped in to see me this afternoon. Trigger: How is he? Boycie: A lot richer than before he popped in to see me this afternoon. He sold me some video recorders, 70 pounds each, I snapped them up. Mike: 70 nicker each? What they fall off the back of a lorry? Boycie: If they did they were going around the bend in Düsseldorf! Mike: How'd you mean? Boycie: I've just discovered that these machines only work on the continental current. To make them work on the british system, would take a transformer the size of a suitcase, and an electrician of such genious i'd have to go head hunting at cape canaveral!

Albert: I thought the bloke you bought it from said an idiot could work it? Del: Yes, ye yes that's right yes! Rodney! Come along it's gone six o'clock! Rodney: Yes all right! Keep the noise down will yeh? Del: Cor blimey look at the state of that, I've seen blokes crawl out of potholes looking smarter than that. Albert: You got in late last light son, out with that little bird of yours, what's 'er name 'Cassandra'?

Del: Bloody hell! What have WE got ourselves into here? Rodney: Well this is your fault! You just go rushing into things and to Hell with the consequences! Del: That's because I've got a high profile! Rodney: Yeah! High profile and low forehead!