Alan: Pam, my wife, she doesn't agree with drinking.
Del: No? Perhaps you ought to out her, get yourself a younger model.
Alan: Yeah, but she's been with me for so long now, she's almost one of the family.
Mike: I've heard of the Driscoll Brothers, but I've never seen them. What do they look like?
Boycie: One of them looks like he was evicted from the Planet of the Apes.
Del: Yeah, and the other one reminds me of Cliff Richard.
Mike: What? He looks younger than his years?
Del: No, he's got one of those faces you want to slap.
Marlene: I didn't know Rodney's middle name was Charlton.
Del: Oh, yeah. It was my mum. She was a fan.
Marlene: Charlton Heston?
Del: No, Charlton Athletic.
Del: Rodney can I give you a bit of advice? Something that will hold you in good stead in the future?
Del: Well, let's see...how shall I put it? Ok...you don't live here no more!