Out of Practice Season 1 Episode 11

Gavin: You better treat my little girl right, cause if you don't...
Stewart: I know, I know, on the floor, cover the kidneys.

Lydia: (to Crystal's dad) Know her? She's practically family.

Lydia: Isn't he great? All those years I watched you boys play with soliders, now, I get it.

doorbell rings
Oilver: That had better be more homosexuals.

Regina: I just saw this girl in a slinky black dress.
Ben and Oliver: She's taken.

Oliver: I'll flirt with her, heat her up for you, then hand her over.
Ben: What do you think you are, a sexual microwave?

Oliver: First rule of scoring at your own party, give the women no alternative.

Lydia: How much money does it cost to bribe a nursing home these days?
Oliver: Five hundred bucks.
Lydia: Best money you ever spent.

Stewart: We're rehearsing a whole new hip sound.
Oliver: They should, two of them have new hips.

Oliver: Mom, you're like witty and cultured and....
Regina: And we're going for young and stupid.

Oliver: I guess Dad's upstairs with Crystal, Mom's off with solider boy, and were...
Ben: Pathetic!

Ben: Why I'm I suddenly your boyfriend?
Crystal: Because if you don't, my dad will beat up your dad.

Gavin: Your husband is my daughter's boss, small world.
Lydia: And it's getting even smaller.

Oliver: Oh, Crystal, thank God, it's you, for the last hour this party has had one monkey wrench after another thrown into it.

Oliver: Mom, from the look his eyes he only has one thing on his mind.
Lydia: Good, then were on the same page.