Happy Birthday: Wayne Rooney!
Happy Anniversary: Roger Clemens! In 2000 he was fined $50,000 for throwing a jagged edge of a broken bat at Mike Piazza during the World Series.
Happy Trails: Mark Sanchez and Eva Longoria! Reports say the couple broke up.
Mike Wilbon: Tony, New York has ruled that lap dances are taxable because they aren't performance art.
Tony Kornheiser: Clearly they've never seen me work the pole.