Ron: (to the JJ's waitress) Twelve eggs and part of a dead animal. Dealer's choice, please and thank you.
Harris: Is this gonna be a topless park?
April: I don't think there are topless parks.
Harris: Well, let's build the first one and be heroes.
Woman: If this is going to be a topless park, I won't sign your petition.
Harris: If she's going to the topless park, I'm not signing the topless park petition. (looks at the woman) You know, I take that back, I'm still in. (to the woman) What's up? I'm Harris.
Man: Yeah, yeah, forget whatever that Pawnee Commons is. I'm with that pervert. Topless park.
Tom: Whoa, smells like some vomit took a dump in here. What happened?
Ron: We got food poisoning, Tom. How do you not have food poisoning?
Ben: Because he didn't eat anything. He just took pictures and talked about the wow factor.
Tom: Not true. I ate everything you did.
Chris: Are you sure? Is there anything that you didn't eat?
Tom: Oh yeah, I didn't eat those stupid mini-calzones. Haver-food rule number six: never eat anything with a sauce I have to dip myself. Drizzle it on for me. I'm not your maid.
Ben: The calzones...betrayed me? Never again, guys, as God as my witness, they're dead to me.
Ben: I'm gonna go with the first place. I really loved that appetizer.
Chris: Oh, the mini-calzone?
Ben: I wouldn't call it that. It was more like a savory pastry. Delicate little dough pocket filled with tomato sauce, cheese, and seasoned meat. Just a stunning culinary innovation.
Ron: (aside) It was a calzone.
Chris: It was literally just a small calzone.
Ben: I'm in charge of food for the wedding, so I brought in Pawnee's three best caterers and a panel of experts. Chris loves vegetables. Ron loves meat. And Tom considers himself a foodie, which apparently means taking instagrams of food instead of eating it.
Ann: I will have oatmeal and berries. And I will have catfish and grits, with pumpernickel toast.
Ann: Well, instead of getting swept up in my boyfriends' personalities, I am dating myself and trying new things. So every time I go out to eat, I order one thing that's typical me and then something that I would never order.
Leslie: Now I have two best friends, Ann and Ann. Each one more beautiful than the other.
Original International Air Dates:
Canada: February 7, 2012 on Citytv
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