Andy: It's the Redwood Music Program. It's an after-school music class for at-risk kids. It'll keep them off the street. And the streets, as you know, are dangerous. Example, I fell into a sewer grate once. I was there all day. In conclusion, we cannot let our children live in the sewer any longer. Redwood Music Program, go, your honor, amen.
Ann: (about asking Chris to be her sperm donor) I want my friend to do something for me and I don't know how to ask him.
Ron: What do you want him to do?
Ann: Plant ficuses. In my front yard. (aside) Grossest metaphor ever.
Ron: I've seen your house. You'd have more success if he planted ficuses in your backyard.
Ann: No, I don't think so. Anyway, what if he thinks I'm asking too much of him, and I ask him to plant ficuses, and he doesn't want to, and he gets weird about it, and it ruins our friendship?
Ron: Then plant the damn ficuses yourself.
Ann: I wish that were possible.
Leslie: (about presents from their honeymoon) We did not forget Jerry. We got Jerry some earbuds, and a bag of peanuts, and the Sky Mall catalog.
Jerry: Same things you got me from your trip to Washington!
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