Charlie: (in response to the party Claudia threw at the house) I thought I said...
Claudia: You said I was grounded, that I couldn't go out. Well, I didn't go out. I brought everyone in.
Charlie: You eat way too much sugar, that's the whole problem.
Claudia: I do not!
Charlie: Yes, you do! Why don't you have a nice piece of fruit when you get home from school?
Claudia: Why don't you get a haircut?
Charlie: I'm serious, Claud, when was the last time you had a vegetable?
Claudia: When was the last time you put down the toilet seat?
Charlie: So, how many?
Claudia: A couple....a few....some....six.
Charlie: Six? Six cavities? That's, like, 20% of your teeth, Claud!
Charlie: You are NOT doing this to me anymore, have you got that? When I tell you to do something, you say 'Yes, Charlie,' 'Thank you, Charlie', and you DO IT! You obey me, and you treat me with respect, or I swear to God...
Claudia: WHAT? What are you gonna do? What are you gonna take away from me next?
Charlie: That is not what's going on!
Claudia: And in front of all my friends? Forget it! Why do you get to boss me around?
Charlie: Cut it out, Claudia!
Claudia: You never listen to a thing I say!
Charlie: I don't wanna hear this...
Claudia: Why do I have to listen to you?
Charlie: Because I am the father around here!
Claudia: I don't care!
Charlie: God! (raises hand to hit her, quickly stops himself)
Claudia: Some father.
Claudia: I'm eating an apple.
Charlie: (doesn't look up) Yeah, well, good for you.
Claudia: It's really delicious. I'm really enjoying it. I'm going to be eating lots of them from now on, broccoli too.
Charlie: Have you seen the checkbook?
Claudia: I'm sorry, Charlie.
Charlie: Yeah, well, just help me look for it.
Claudia: No, I mean...I'm sorry about before. You know, with the sleepover. You got so mad...I didn't think it would make you that mad. You almost hit me...
Charlie: I don't want to talk about that, OK?
Claudia: But I...
Charlie: Claudia, go to your tent!