Mark: (On Spin the Bottle) This is probably how the Manson family started.
Jeremy: You work out who you like best and then you pretend not to like anyone else.
Mark: Yes, dancing; I love dancing! (Thinking) 'Cuz it makes me look like a coma victim being stood up and zapped with a cattle prod.
Jeremy: Who needs romance when you're doing it up the bum?
Mark: You won't be so cocky Jeff, when I come into the office with a Kalashnikov and 200 rounds of ammunition. I'm probably exactly the kind of person who could end up doing something like that.
Mark: I wonder which of my treasured possessions they'll be putting up their anuses tonight?
Johnson: What this department needs as a kick up the arse so hard my foot will go right up your digestive tract and wiggle out your mouth like a little leather tongue.
Mark: Sure, an orgy sounds great, but you're basically just multiplying the number of people you're not going to be able to look in the eye afterwards.
Mark: It's easy being a freak... no wonder they are ten a penny.
Jez: This is good. This is like...watching a porno. Except I can't see anything, I haven't got a hard-on, and...I want to cry.