This is the second wedding episode of the show; the first occurred between Jeremy and Nancy, in another episode called Wedding.
Jeremy: You OK?
Mark: Yeah, yeah, fine. Bit of a wobble. I just proposed to a woman in a coffee shop and tried to get myself run over.
Jeremy: OK. Right. That is maybe a sign that everything isn't totally groovy.
Mark: That's it. I'm alone. Tomorrow morning I'll wake up in my bed alone. Unless... I hire a prostitute. Just for the night. Kind of like a wedding present.
Mark: That's it. I've ruined my life! You only get one life and I've ruined mine!
Mark: I'm not marrying out of spite, I'm marrying out of fear. There's a very big difference.
Jeremy: Did you slink off to bed before we did the melon-off?
Mark: I believe I did and what exactly is...
Jeremy: Two guys get hard-ons, they put melons on their dicks, the first melon to fall off loses.
Mark: Right and who won - Gore Vidal or Dr Jonathan Miller?
Mark: (thinking) Okay, here we go: wedding day. I'm heading for a wedding. How do I feel? Empty? Check. Scared? Check. Alone? Check. Just another ordinary day.
Jeremy: I'm so pathetic that as soon as you order me to piss myself I've started the procedure. This is what you've done. You've ground down my sense of worth over the years. I hope you're proud!
Mark: When are you going to stop?
Jeremy: Not for a bit.
Mark: You know, you do smell really quite strongly of piss.
Jeremy: And your hat and shoes smell of puke so I guess neither of us are exactly the king, are we?
Mark: I could say he's got a fat head. Call him a jizzcock. Not actually an insult, all cocks are jizzcocks really. It'd be like calling him a pisskidney.