Penn & Teller: Bullshit!

Season 1 Episode 3

Alien Abductions

Aired Monday 10:00 PM Feb 07, 2003 on Showtime



  • Trivia

    • Deleted Scenes from this episode featured on the first season dvd include further interviews with Earlene Carr and Shurleane Wallace, one of the abduction group therapy members, and the blurred man from the convention (unblurred in the deleted scene).

  • Quotes

    • Leir: Then we have a third book which is out right now in Portuguese.
      Penn: OOO! PORTUGUESE! It must be true!

    • Icke: This world is controlled by reptilian entities that occupy human form which we see as human with our five senses, but beyond that, they're reptilian. If we could see beyond the limitations of our five senses, we would see George Bush the father and George Bush the son as reptilian entities.
      Penn: You know, this is the first thing anyone's said that makes sense!

    • Lamb: Now, the cost for a three hour regression is 60 dollars per hour. But in some cases, they've come back 20 or 30 or 40 times, and we've been able to do many regressions. I like that situation.
      Penn: I'll bet she does!

    • Penn: The therapist is putting the ideas in her head. We're putting in the spooky music. We're doing our part!

    • Lamb: (in regression session) So settle down now, and close your eyes. And allow your head now to be very very heavy and very relaxed. Almost liquidy feeling. Rather like a pat of butter outdoors just beginning to soften and melt in the noonday sun.

      Penn: (voiceover) That's beautiful. She's a poet!

    • Lamb: I'm Barbara Lamb. Licensed marriage and family therapist, hypnotherapist, and regression therapist.
      Penn: Hear that? She's licensed! OUR GOVERNMENT IS IN WITH THE ALIENS!!

    • Ferrante: (about influence of pop culture and movies) You know, that stuff can influence what you're seeing before you go to sleep at night and you're starting to have these weird dreams about being abducted.
      Penn: Do you have those dreams? We never have those dreams. What's wrong with us? If we can't have full-blown sex dreams, I think at least we want a piece of this. We're being gypped!

    • Penn: (On Dr. Leir) A FOOT DOCTOR???? Did the Aliens walk 700 million light years? Do they need orthotics?

    • Penn: Aliens Suck! They're taking people, doing surgery and shit and then erasing their memories. Yet people are still remembering stuff and finding unexplained scars! If I were an alien, I would at the very least hire a decent plastic surgeon!

    • Penn: Teller, um, we are talking about unexplained scars not unexplained cigars.

    • Penn: Ah yes, the famous alien probe. So versatile it works in any orifice no matter how it looks. Abductees all love the probe!

    • Penn: If we had traveled 700 million light years you wouldn't catch us at the Taj Mahal or a strip club, no sirree. We'd be hanging right here!

  • Notes

  • Allusions

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