Penn & Teller: Bullshit!

Malan: The entire process for breast enlargement through hypnosis takes anywhere from 6-12 weeks, maybe longer.
Penn: 6-12 weeks maybe longer? That must get costly.
Malan: Well I work by donation.
Penn: Oh that's great. It's certainly a questionable method, and so she does breast hypnosis out of the kindness of her heart.
Malan: The donation that I request is 90 dollars a session.
Penn: JESUS HAIRY CHRIST! 90 dollars a session??? That can add up to more than 1000 bucks to think your breasts bigger.

Penn: [on Dr. Butterworth] Dr. BUTTERWORTH? That means his wife is...Mrs. Butterworth. [laughs] I bet he loves her syrup.

Dr. Danoff: [on penis measurement] We can do it in inches, we can do it in centimeters. Centimeters is very impressive.[laughs]
Penn: You could also try the Penn and Teller method to add two inches by measuring...from your ***hole.

Penn: Ron Jeremy's "big downstairs" is precisely why he was chosen to be spokesperson for the penile enhancement pill, Extenze. It's like getting Shaquille O'Neal to sell platform shoes.

Penn: [on Puppetry of the Penis] "Doesn't all that twisting and flexing hurt, says Penn as if he didn't know?"..Oh sorry, Christ, I just read the stage directions out loud. [laughs]

Chris: (Chris commenting on his use of the penis pump) I've been doing this once a day for, probably, between 2 to 5 minutes and I was surprised and actually scared to see how effective it could suck. If someone is real curious, and wants to know what it feels like to have his penis...sucked to the point of pain...then I would recommend that.