Pepper Dennis Season 1 Episode 11

Knuckles: Long speech, Oprah. Now I'm really gonna have to cut you.
Pepper: (taking Knuckles down) It's not Oprah, Tinkerbell, Lois Lane, Little Debbie, Cinderella, Grass bag, Blondie, or Goldilocks. It's Pepper Dennis and I gotta eat here too are we clear? Cause if we're not I am happy to take you down breaking news style.
Knuckles: I like Grass bag.

Charlie: In the last five years Lunchsac has lost ten contracts around the Midwest for serving expired food. That jumpsuit is so bad girl.
Pepper: So why does this jail keep renewing their contract? Most of these women have filed food poisoning complaints.
Charlie: I couldn't find a single one on file with the DOC. Just so we're clear, there's not gonna be any conjugating?
Pepper: The complaints must be getting buried, but why? To protect Lunchsac?
Charlie: Political connections, money, the room was designed for it and I did bring flowers.
Pepper: Money. What if the state is cutting corners at these inmates expense? Do we know what they claim they're paying for the food?
Charlie: State budget's four dollars per meal per inmate.
Pepper: But we don't know what they're actually paying Lunchsac.
Guard: (knocks) Two minutes. (Awkward silence)
Pepper: Come on Babcock, this is the part where you say, 'two minutes, I can do it in one and a half', and then you unzip something. And then I pretend to ignore all subsequent libidinous comments, which is what we normally do in the real world. Outside of here, which seems so far away right now.
Charlie: I'm sorry Dennis. I'm an idiot. I was just trying to keep it light, you know, cheer you up.
Pepper: I know. It's okay.
Charlie: You know when I got here I couldn't believe it. Everyone expected it to be Camp Cupcake but it's pretty awful huh?
Pepper: I wouldn't recommend it. But I'll survive.
Charlie: Yep, you will. Not a lot of people have the strength to make it through something like this, Dennis. I couldn't.
Pepper: Thanks.

Les: I've reserved 5 minutes in each broadcast for a jailhouse update.
Pepper: Leslie Gay listen to me! You will cancel all interviews or publicity or so help me god, I'll be in here for murder! Yours!
Les: You started this! I'm only trying to make lemonade.
Pepper: Well you're back to lemons, because I'm shutting down my visitor's list.