Phineas and Ferb Season 1 Episode 1

Phineas: Hey look, here comes the Ah-Ah-Ah-Ah!
Everyone: (screaming Ah-Ah-Ah-Ah)

Dr. Doofenshmirtz: (after the tin foil had come off of the buildings and was flying towards his lair rather that pulling the Eastern seaboard West) Well, that didn't work. And now we have a two ton ball of tin foil traveling two-hundred miles an hour directly at us!

Mom: (to mall employee) Now I know I have that Club Card in here somewhere. I always have it with me, but my purse is such a disaster area. You know how it is.
Candace: (seeing the rollercoaster) Oh, oh, oh, oh, Mom, Mom.

(Perry hits a nail at Dr. Doofenshmirtz, he ducks)
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Ha, you missed. (the nail rebounds and lands in his foot) Ow, ow , ow, ow, ow. (he accidentally releases Perry from his mechanical arms)

Phineas: (showing everyone how to fasten their seatbelt) To fasten, insert the tab into the metal buckle. To release, just pull back on the... oops! (he drops the seatbelt to the ground) Well, you get the picture. Well, that's about it, enjoy the ride. (the rollercoaster reaches the top) You all signed the waivers, right?

(Ferb stands in front of a microphone and doesn't say anything, he then walks away as Phineas comes to the microphone, and Ferb plays music) Phineas: Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, children of all ages; may I present to you a spectacle most of the morning in the making! The coolest...coaster..EVER!

Candace: (reading a coaster for Phineas and Ferb's rollercoaster) Phineas and Ferb present: the cooles coaster ever. Now open! Mom!
Boy: Phineas and Ferb got a rollercoaster! Ya think we get a discount if we bring the flyer?
Boy: Maybe we better take it.
Candace: (to Mom) Look, look, look, see. I told you I'm not crazy. I told you!
Mom: And you're not crazy because...
Candace: (sees the blank post and screams)
Mom: I see your point, Candace. No crazy person would scream at a post like that. I'll be in the dairy section if you want to come yell at some cheese or anything.

Dr. Doofenshmirtz: I, Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz have covered the entire Easten seaboard in tin foil! And when I put my giant magnet next to my ingenious magnetism magnifier, I will pull the East in a Westernly direction. Thereby reversing rotation of the Earth! You may well ask yourself 'Why would he do this? What would he possibly have to gain?' Well, let me just answer that by saying that I haven't really worked out all the bugs yet. You know, tin foil alone costs a lot.

Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Ah, Perry the Platypus! What an unexpected surprise. And by unexpected, I mean completely expected!

Phineas: (while a machine automatically put the track for the rollercoaster together) Now this is the life.

Phineas: We're going to need a blow torch and some more peanut butter.

Phineas: So, what should we do tomorrow? There's a world of possibilities. Maybe we should make a list! (the tree they're sitting under explodes from the fire from the rollercoaster)
Candace: Mom!
Mom: Give it a rest Candace.

Isabella: (to Phineas) I was going to got the the pool. You want to go swimming?
Phineas: Kind of in the middle of something here. (he points to the unfinished rollercoaster)
Isabella: Oh, right. Okay, I'll see you later then.
Phineas: Okay.

Isabella: That was great Phineas. What are you going to do tomorrow?
Phineas: Don't know yet.
Isabella: Maybe you can teach Perry some tricks.
Phineas: Well, he is a platypus, they don't do much.
Ferb: They're the only mammals to lay eggs.
Phineas: Maybe he'll lay an egg.

Mom: Okay, we're here. Are you happy now?
Candace: (Candace opens the gate to the back yard, and Phineas and Ferb are not there) Yes! See Mom, I told you they weren't there!
Mom: (looking into the back yard) Oh, hi, boys.
Phineas: Hi, Mom. Come on Candace, help me with the groceries.
Candace: (stunned) But, but, but, but, but, but, but, but...
Boy: (falling out of the tree) Hey, Phineas, that was great!
Boy: (also falling out of the tree) Way too cool!
Boy: (also falling out of the tree) That was awesome! Can we do it again!
Phineas: Sorry, only one ride per customer.

French salesman: Croissant?
Phineas: Anyone want a (imitating a French accent) croissant?

Candace: (to Mom) Okay, so you think that Phineas and Ferb are still under that stupid tree in the back yard, right?
Mom: Well, yes, that would be my guess.
Candace: (grabbing her Mom's shopping cart) Fine, then let's go home, now!

Candace: (Pointing to the rollercoaster) Look, look, look, see? (Perry pulls the rollercoaster off of the ground)
Mom: Okay, I give up. What am I supposed to be looking at?

Isabella: Does your step brother ever talk?
Phineas: Ferb? He's more of a man of action. (Ferb hits himself in the head with a mallet)

Candace: (on the phone) Hello. Oh, hi Stacy. No I can't go to the mall right now. Mom went to the store, she left me in charge, well, you know, conditionally. (in the background Phineas and Ferb are seen taking wood past the window) Oh, if you go, can you see if Jeremy is there? No, no, he's the cute one that works at Mr. Slushy Burger. (Phineas and Ferb take some strips of metal by the window) He totally smiled at me the last time I was there. I just about died! No, I told you I can't, I'm watching my brother and stepbrother. (Phineas and Ferb take some household objects by the window) Yeah, and they never get in trouble 'cause Mom never catches them. One of these days though, I'm going to see to it that she catches them red handed. (Phineas and Ferb take a flamingo and a lion by the window, the lion roars loudly) Will you hold it down, I am trying to use the phone! But Mom left me in charge, so there will be no shenanigans today. What are they doing right now? Why do you ask? What do you mean you can see it from your house? See what?

Candace: (after seeing Phineas and Ferb working on plans for their rollercoaster.) Wait a minute; what are you doing?
Phineas: Homework.
Candace: It's summer.
Phineas: That's cool, you wait 'til the last minute then.

Candace: Mom, you've got to come home right now!
Mom: Did a satellite crash into the house!
Candace: No, no, no! You got to see what Phineas and Ferb are doing!
Mom: Seems like we've had this conversation before.
Candace: What do you mean?
Mom: I seem to recall you telling me that the boys were training monkeys to juggle bicycles, and when I got home, there was a stunning lack of monkeys.
Candace: I don't know how they cleaned that up so fast.
Mom: So what's the emergency this time?
Candace: They're building a rollercoaster!
Mom: Candace, seriously, isn't Phineas a little young to be a rollercoaster engineer?
(the scene cuts to see Phineas talking to a rollercoaster engineer)
Rollercoaster Engineer: Aren't you a little young to be a rollercoaster engineer?
Phineas: Yes, yes I am.
Rollercoaster Engineer: Well, I must say, I'm very impressed. The forms all seem to be in order, although I've never seen them filled out in crayon before. So, if there's anything I can get you, anything at all, just let me know.

Phineas: So, Ferb, what do you want to do today? (Ferb shrugs) How about Perry? What does he want to do? (Perry makes a noise) Well, he is a platypus, they don't do much. I, for one, am starting to get bored, and boredom is something of up which I will not put! The first thing they're going to ask us when we get back to school is 'what did we do all summer?'. I mean, no school for three months; our lives should be a rollercoaster! And I mean a good rollercoaster, not like that one we rode at the state fair. (a flashback is shown of Phineas an Ferb riding a rollercoaster that consists of one short drop) State Fair Employee: Please exit to the left. (flashback ends) Phineas: Man that was lame! Why, if I built a rollercoaster I would... that's it! I know what we're going to do today! Mom: Phineas, Ferb, I'm going to go pick up a few things, you boys stay out of trouble, okay? Phineas: Okay Mom. (Mom leaves) We're going to build a rollercoaster!

Phineas: (when the rollercoaster was flying by a satellite) Ya know, if that crashes to Earth, Candace is in charge.

Candace: I'm in charge, right? You did tell them I'm in charge?
Mom: Relax, Candace; nobody has to be in charge.
Candace: But what if there's an emergency?
Mom: Like what?
Candace: What if...uh...what if a satellite falls out of orbit and crashes into the house?
Mom: If that happens, you're in charge.
Candace: Yes!

Candace: (after asking if she could be in charge if a satellite hit the Earth) I'm in charge, conditionally.

Candace: (gloats) Hihihihihihi! Hahahahaha!
Mom: I worry about you sometimes, Candace.