Police Squad!

Season 1 Episode 4

Revenge and Remorse (The Guilty Alibi)

Aired Thursday 8:00 PM Mar 25, 1982 on ABC



  • Trivia

  • Quotes

    • Lana: He hangs out there with some chorus girl. A floozy named Mimi De Jour.
      Ed: De Jour? Is she French?
      Lana: That's just her stage name. Her real name is Mimi Coffee.
      Ed: Coffee?
      Lana: No thank you.

    • Frank: That evening we caught Mimi De Jour's show at the Club Flamingo. We hoped the talk with her would be half as revealing as her act.

    • Mimi: Is this some kind of bust?
      Frank: Yes, ma'am, it's very impressive, but we need to ask you a few questions.

    • Mimi: He was with me. We went to the movies.
      Frank: Oh, yeah.
      Mimi: On the Waterfront.
      Ed: Come on, there are no movies on the waterfront.

    • Ted Olsen: So you see, Katie, fish have gills to extract oxygen from water. But, but air-breathing species have lungs, which are equipped only to accept oxygen in it's natural state. And that's why most mammals must live on land. (tries to down a cat)
      Katie: Wow, that's neat.
      Ted Olsen: Oh, hi, Frank. Would you like to keep him, Katie?
      Katie: Can I? Gee, thanks, Mr. Olsen.
      Ted Olsen: Why don't you run along now, Katie, and next week I'll show you why women can't play professional football.

    • (after a man is killed in a car explosion)
      Norberg: I can't believe anyone would do something so cruel.
      Frank: Senseless brutality, senseless waste.
      Ed: Cut down in the prime of life.
      Norberg: That car was a classic, a '68! You suppose the widow would take $1,500 for it?

    • Norberg: I've got the sandwiches, sir.
      Ed: All right, Eddie, you went to the movies. Now what did you see?
      Eddie: I told you, I don't remember.
      Norberg: Who had the egg salad?
      Ed: "I don't remember."
      Norberg: Somebody ordered it.
      Frank: You can't expect us to buy that.
      Norberg: But I already paid for it.
      Eddie: Why don't you give a guy a break?
      Norberg: Thanks a lot.
      Eddie: What's the charge, huh?
      Norberg: About $4.58.
      Ed: What are you trying to do, insult us?
      Norberg: Okay, $3.50. Coffee's on me.
      Eddie: I told you, I went to the movies. I fell asleep. I don't remember.
      Frank: You don't expect us to swallow that?
      Norberg: All right, I'll eat it. But I don't think it's fair that I should have to pay for it.

    • Ed: Let's say you did go to the movies.
      Eddie: Okay.
      Frank, Ed and Eddie: You did go to the movies.
      Frank: And let's say that you were nowhere near the Club Flamingo.
      Eddie: All right.
      Frank, Ed and Eddie: You were nowhere near the Club Flamingo.
      Frank: Then explain this. (shows him a Club Flamingo matchbook)
      Eddie: Well, you take this little cardboard stick out, with sulfur on the end, and you rub it on the edges and it makes fire.

    • Frank: When I got home I received a call from Mimi De Jour. She said she wanted to see me at the club right away. Since I had no idea where the Club Rightaway was, I suggested the Club Flamingo. She agreed.

    • Dr. Joyce Brothers: Johnny, I've been getting a lot of mail about the Cinderella Complex.
      Johnny: So? (she slips him money) Women's fear of success have left many of them confused about their wants and needs. Consequently, stress-related burnout has driven many women from feminist aggression to female passivity, dependent upon their partner for vicarious fulfillment.
      Dr. Joyce Brothers: Well, what do I tell them? (slips him more money)
      Johnny: Tell them to get in touch with their unconscious feelings and to share in the growth process with their partner.

    • Frank: Just in time, Eddie.
      Eddie: Piece of cake, Lieutenant.
      Frank: No thanks, I just ate.

  • Notes

  • Allusions