Police Squad!

Season 1 Episode 6

Testimony of Evil (Dead Men Don't Laugh)

1
Aired Thursday 8:00 PM Jul 08, 1982 on ABC

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  • Trivia

  • Quotes

    • Frank: When I arrived at the morgue, my boss had already begun to investigate the physical evidence. As was our custom in such cases, we began to talk.

    • Coroner: It's a typical 415.
      Frank: 415?
      Coroner: Yes. The body was found 415' from the car.

    • Frank: File on Culdiss?
      Ed: Yeah, yeah, it's a complete detailed report. Born 19423 in Philadelphia. In and out of foster homes until the age of 15. Then he moved into Smith's home. Wasn't happy there, either. Then he fought Larry Holmes. Last known address was a mobile home in Alabama. Married, one child. That didn't work out so he married a grown woman.

    • Veronica: Say, that was nice work. You took a big chance doing that.
      Frank: Well, you take a chance getting up in the morning, crossing the street, or sticking your face in a fan.

    • Ted Olson: So, you see, Katie, objects get their shape from the arrangement of their molecules. If you applied force to these molecules, their arrangement is altered. The shape of the object changes. Now, did you bring me your Crying Judy doll?
      Katie: Here she is, Mr. Olson.
      Ted Olson: All right. Now let's see what happens when we put Crying Judy in the trash compactor. Oh, hi, Frank. Katie, why don't you run along now. Next week we'll learn why cows look forward to giving milk.

    • Dick Clark: Johnny, uh, some kids on the show yesterday mentioned a new kind of music. Ska. Know anything about it?
      Johnny: How should I know? (Dick Clark pays him off) Nothing but a modern offshoot of reggae, updated white rock influences, definitely upbeat. Will never become really popular because even though they made the backbeat more conventional, it's still too exotic for mass acceptance.
      Dick Clark: Johnny, I need some more of that secret-formula youth cream.

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