Political Animals Season 1 Episode 1

Margaret: I know who you are honey, don't waste your time. They never let me talk on the record anyway, I'm either too drunk or too honest, or god forbid both.
Susan: We're off the record tonight is just for, color.
Margaret: Oh just for color. Well tell me do you have a boyfriend?
Susan: Yes I do.
Margaret: Is that right I always thought you were a lesbian. But you sure know how to throw yourself together unlike my daughter, but then she has stregnth of character, and your just a rotten little thing. Makes a living saying really smart and really nasty things about people. But, you got a boyfriend, how bout that. You must give one hell of a hummer lady.

Elaine: Thomas, Susan Berg has the story she knows about last December. She agreed not to run it if we let her cover me this week, so we stopped her but.
TJ: It's okay, it's okay occupational hazzard right? Comes with being a Hammond. They only love us when they're not busy hating us.

TJ: I didn't get all the gay genes but I got the style one.

Elaine: Are you two actually drinking already?
Margaret: TJ started it. He say's that you can't make Margarita's with Jack Daniels.
TJ: Turns out you can and it's good.
Margaret: I saw the attendee list why is that bitch Susan Berg coming?
Elaine: Because that bitch is covering me this week, please do me the favour of not talking to her. Or if you must try not saying things like, the country didn't elect me because they didn't want to sleep with me.
Margaret: It's true.

Margaret: If I had a rack like her'sI might still be getting laid. You know People magazine says the show actually has them insured.

Staff Member: It's the Middle East it's the diplomatic equilalent of instructions from IKEA, none of it makes any sense.

Susan: (About Georgia) She is the journalistic equivalent of a weather girl.
Alex: Claws in. She looks up to you.
Susan: No, I don't trust her. If Eve Harrington was an actual person today she would look like Georgia. She would bake cupcakes and she would have a blog.

Susan: (About Elaine) I forgot what a flaming bitch on wheels that woman is, whatever feud exists she started. I mean on little comment about her epitomising the death of feminism and they banned me from the White House for six year. I couldn't even go to the Easter egg roll, I love the Easter egg roll.

Douglass: How'd it go?

Elaine: You remember what my mother called her?
Staff Member: A bitch bitch with a capital C.
Elaine: She undersold it, and I should know being a card carrying member of the club myself.

Elaine: What ae you really after?
Susan: Like any good reporter Madamme Secretary I want the truth. Why did you ask you ex husband for a divorce that night? Was he too much political baggage for you to recreate yourself in the face of such a set back? Or did you just think your political career was over so you no longer had to tolleratehis rampant infidelity? Were you surprised at the publics reaction to the split, that the President was suddenly dispised for the same repugnant sexual behaviour the country use to find rougish and cute? But you were suddenly beloved after having been viewed so long as a cold and calculating political animal. And lastly do you regret staying with him for so long, was it worth it? You didn't get the grand prize, the gold glittering tiara of the Presidency.

Elaine: Did you enjoy the ass grab Victor. Good, because the next time you touch me, I'm gonna rip off your tiny shrivelled balls, and serve them to you in a called borsch soup. (In Russian) I wil f-- your shit up. Do you hear me?

Susan: Any truth the the rumour that you turned down veat position and asked for stated?
Elaine: I'm on record as saying I did not wanna be Secretary of State.
Susan: But you said yes.
Elaine: I'm old fashioned that way, when the President asks you to serve, you serve.

Susan: So that was it after 32 years of marriage you were compelled to ask for a divorce the night you conceded the nomination.

Elaine: It's not news that journalists have accused me of divorcing my husband for political gain, It's just, they don'tusually work for the nations leading paper Miss Berg.
Susan: When he was President you stayed, you left when you lost your shot at the Presidancy it's a fair assumption that politics had something to do with it.
Elaine: You won a Pulitzer in your twenties for covering his affairs did you not?
Susan: I did.
Elaine: Im curious, what is it like launching you career by stepping on the throat of someone elses marriage?
Susan: His adultary was a story, I covered it.
Elaine: No Pulitzer to speak of since though.
Susan: No.

Elaine: (About Bud) It's okay Sam if I wanted to assassinate him I would've done it years ago, in his sleep.

Margaret: I need a drink. Just give me two fingers with a little Diet Coke, I have to watch my figure.
TJ: Come on you're a hottie Grandma.
Margaret: All you homo's love me. It's the rich straight guys I'm worried about.

Girl: Why can't you run again Mr President?
Bud: Would if I could honey. Would if I could.

Elaine: Although we wee not successful in securing the nomination, this campaign has had so many victories, and I want to say something to the young women and little girls who joined our cause. Please don't be discouraged by my loss, as sure as I stand here and because I stand here. One day one of you will be the President of the United States of America, and that is a day this woman plans on living to see.

Male Reporter: That sound of the Hammond family now entering the ballroom. First is Douglas Hammond with his girlfriend Anne. Douglas taking a leadership role in his mothers campaign, some say he has quite a future of his own in politics, and of course directly behind them is Thomas refered to as TJ in Hammond circles. Everyone kept waiting for his homosexuality to be an issue but no, it never was. The Governor's mother is now entering the room always a fixture in a Hammond campaign, dating back to both of Bud Hammond's successful runs for the Presidancy. If you can'thear anything that's because Bud Hammond just entered the room, man they love this guy. Former Preseident Hammond got himself into trouble in the last six months, calling to question, Garcetti's competancy for the job. The Governor's theme song signallling her entrance. This kind of enthusiasm is usually reserved for her husband,but it's not his name they're shouting now.