Press Gang

Season 5 Episode 6

There Are Crocodiles

Aired Unknown May 21, 1993 on ITV
out of 10
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Episode Summary

There Are Crocodiles
After a soccer match (which the team lose) they return back to the office they discover that Kevin has overdosed in the toilets. Lynda is retelling the story of the previous weeks to someone, who is revealed as David, who also committed suicide. But when it is revealed that Lynda is unconscious in the office it on fire the questions remains - will she survive it, or perish?moreless

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  • There Are Crocodiles! Last Ever Press Gang Episode.

    A very frustrating ending to a great show, had me wanting the writers facing actual crocodiles for leaving us at such a open ending.

    A much darker episode sees Lynda finally facing her past and coming to terms with the part she played in David's death in season one, after she is knocked unconcious by an electric shock from a faulty socket at the Junior Gazette and a fire breaks out.

    Lynda is shown as if she is talking to a councellor over the events that have just happened, a boy on her news team has overdosed and Lynda is unsympathetic, she is sad he died but believes he made a bad choice and got what he deserved, she states a tale from a tribe about not putting your head in a crocodiles mouth, as she believes he did, she is more angry at him for destroying the credibility of the newspaper.

    The other members of the team have been kept in the dark, with the exception of Spike who also made the grim discovery, Lynda makes him swear to keep quiet and Spike is disgusted in her but agrees.

    As the story breaks, so does the Junior Gazette, with Julie feeling betrayed, Colin wanting to go to another paper, Frazz quiting, closely followed by Spike, who has one last try to find some humanity in Lynda, she turns her chair away and when she turns back he has gone, she leaps up to follow and is distracted by the socket hissing.

    Lynda has no idea what is going on as she continues her story, she just keeps commenting she is getting warm or too hot, giving clues that all might not be what it seems, also a shot gun is leaning against the mystery person's chair as another clue to their identity.

    Its quite creepy but in typical Press Gang style there is a lot of humour, this is brought in by Frazz running a football team, cue Frazz constantly banging his head off his desk after each game, as we see Spike entering in an American Football outfit, Colin switching sides and gloating about beating him, Julie turning up in full make-up and flirting with the other team and Lynda being extremely proud of her goal,"Whack!" which Frazz points out was against her own team.

    The football parts kept breaking into the story, so it was never too harrowing for the viewer and it did need that break in the tension, especially for a childrens show as it seemed to be pushing all the boundaries it could.

    When David smugly reveals Lynda is about to burn to death if she doesn't wake up, she becomes strong again, she tells him she didn't shoot him, he shot himself and she no longer blames herself, she doesn't hate herself enough to burn and she will wake up, David tells her its too late, there is no way out, Lynda wakes and screams for Spike before the building is engulfed with flames.

    So did she die?, they have had dream sequences before, so could it have been wishful thinking on Spikes part that she was in his room winding him up, she did look like she'd been in a fire, but how did she get out?, then again she is stuborn enough to not go to the hospital and instead terrorize Colin and pretend to haunt Spike, to make him confess he betrayed her to the press, only to confess she survived after he told her he hadn't, that would be typical Lynda.

    The answers we will never know unless there is a reunion, so here's hoping!moreless

Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions


  • TRIVIA (0)

  • QUOTES (16)

    • Lynda: I've also payed Colin a visit, and got him back working for us.
      Spike: He knows you're alive?
      Lynda: Not precisely no. I told him I'd risen from Hell on a mission from Satan to explode his brain. He signed an exclusive contract for the next twelve thousand years.
      Spike: If I kiss you...Do I wake up? I don't think I wanna know if this is a dream.
      Lynda: Your choice.
      (Spike leans in to kiss her, and the episode ends)

    • Spike: The fireman said no one could've come out. You were dead!
      Lynda: Yeah, but I didn't like the company. Losers.

    • (Lynda's shadow appears in Spike's bedroom)
      Spike: You're dead.
      Lynda: Yeah, but we needed to talk.
      Spike: I wish we could talk. I wish I didn't have to dream it.
      Lynda: Dreams will do. There's just one thing I have to know before I... leave. Was it you who told the magazine?
      Spike: No Lynda. They would've found out at the hospital. You never did understand reporting, did you.
      Lynda: No.
      Spike: I love you Lynda.
      Lynda: Then forgive me.
      Spike: For what?
      Lynda: Winding you up. (Turns on the lights, she appears to be standing in front of him)
      Spike: You utter bitch!
      Lynda: Too late. You said you loved me and you've now said that eight more times than I have. So that means I'm defineatly winning in this relationship.

    • Lynda: Good old 'What's his name'. You missed some great football. Look, I'm sorry you died, okay? I do care, but to be perfectly honest with you, I don't care a lot. You had a choice. You took the drugs. You died. Are you seriously claiming no one warned you it was dangerous? Pardon my saying, but it takes a lot to convince you there's a health risk. I mean have you had a look at the world lately? Just how dumb do you think it's safe to be around here? There's plenty of stuff going on that kills you and you don't get warned at all. So sticking your head in a crocodile's you were told about, is not calculated to get my sympathy. You're dead, and I do care. But you were weak and stupid and you made a bad choice. And actually that isn't a crime. It just happens to have the death penalty. You had a warning, you had a choice. You got it wrong. Sorry. That's life for you.

    • Lynda: Why can't I wake?
      David: Because you choose not to.
      Lynda: Because I'm supposed to feel guilty over you, is that it? David, all I ever did was to tell you where to stuff it and what kind of creep you were. You shot yourself.
      David: Then why can't you wake?
      Lynda: Trust me, I'll wake. I don't hate myself enough to burn.
      David: I think you do.
      Lynda: I didn't kill you, David.
      David: That's not what you said before.
      Lynda: It's what I'm saying now. You killed yourself. Your choice.
      David: Did you care that I died?
      Lynda: Yes I cared. I always care.

    • Lynda: You're dead.
      Spike: (On the phone) I gotta go. Can't talk now. Later, okay? (Hangs up)
      Lynda: Was it you? Did you sell us out to that magazine? You didn't did you? I can't believe it would be you.

    • Frazz: Colin, let me explain just one general point about the game of football.
      Colin: Sure coach, shoot. I do still regard myself as a beginner.
      Frazz: No matter how badly your team are doing, you are not under any circumstances, allowed to change sides.
      Colin: Look, we beat you. Deal with it.

    • Lynda: Why are you so angry with me?
      Spike: He might die, Lynda. Do you understand that?
      Lynda: I understand.
      Spike: Because it looks to me like all you can see here is a PR problem for your newspaper.
      Lynda: We agreed last night, this stays secret.
      Spike: I didn't agree, Lynda. I just happened to be in the room while you were talking. Get the difference?
      Lynda: We can't afford for this to get out. We sell to school children. We recruit at schools.
      Spike: So why don't we do the job we're supposed to do? Drug abuse is an issue! Why don't we tell them about the dangers?
      Lynda: Drug abuse can kill you. What a headline! Next week: Why it's bad to fall off high buildings. People do things because they're dangerous. We'd be as good as advertising!
      Spike: Do people do that?
      Lynda: Some people. Stupid people. And who needs them?
      Spike: Why has it taken me so long to realise, you're just as big a monster as you seem to be.

    • Julie: What's wrong with my taste in men?
      Lynda: Julie, you were the official pin-up at the last prison riot! Do you think it's good for this papers public image to have a bunch of lifers on a rooftop waving signed photographs of the assistant editor?

    • Julie: What you think of him?
      Lynda: Neanderthal.
      Julie: I saw him first.
      Lynda: Julie, about your taste in men.
      Julie: Yeah?
      Lynda: Get some.

    • Julie: You're late.
      Lynda: You're fired. I win.

    • Voice: Tell me about the boy you found then. How did that make you feel?
      Lynda: Angry.
      Voice: Nothing else? He could've been dying.
      Lynda: He didn't have to be. He took the drugs. His choice. His problem. There are crocodiles.

    • (To the man on the toilet)
      Lynda: You're very quiet in there.
      Spike: Which is quite a skill.

    • Colin: Come on coach, go easy on yourself. Most of your team hadn't even played before.
      Lynda: Except Spike.
      Colin: Yeah, except Spike.
      Lynda: Spike's an expert. He loves football. He's played it all his life!
      (Spike shows up in his American Football uniform)
      Spike: Well, would it have killed you to be more specific?

    • Lynda: 43 - 0?
      Frazz: Oh, finally sunk in, has it?
      Lynda: What about my goal?
      Colin: Yeah, what about Lynda's? Nice moves there, boss.
      Lynda: Did you see the look on Bill's face? I just whacked it right passed him.
      Colin: Right in the net.
      Frazz: Yes, you're quite right. I had totally forgotten about Lynda's big moment.
      Lynda: Whack!
      Frazz: One tiny point. Does it bother either of you at all that Bill keeps net for us?!
      Lynda: Well yes, actually. He just stood there staring. Like he couldn't believe it was happening.
      Colin: Well you were fast boss, you were slick.
      Lynda: I was wasn't I?
      Colin: Even the other team were cheering.

    • Lynda: Okay, it's like this. There's a tribe living down by a river. And there are crocodiles living in the river. The tribe has one particular piece of wisdom passed on through many generations. If you happen to meet a crocodile don't stick your head in it's mouth. Every now and then, and who knows the reason, people ignore this advice, which is very sad because they die, but very stupid, because they were warned. They had a choice. The moral of this story is this: You can't afford to be stupid, there are crocodiles.

  • NOTES (0)