Previously Michael pretended to be a nutjob so he'd be transferred to the Whack Shack and reunited with his nutjob former cellie, Haywire. But, alas, his ex didn't remember him.
We pick up right where we left off, with Michael trying to jog Haywire's memory. He seems to be having no luck and is looking hotly frustrated until Haywire gets right in Michael's face and asks if he's the one who stole his toothpaste. Michael says yes, but before they can continue a med-toting nurse arrives. Haywire takes his pills, but Michael refuses, saying he'll talk to Doc about it. Nurse says too bad and calls for an orderly.
SFG and Bellick are checking out Michael's cell, saying it's a "prime piece of real estate." They figure if they promise to keep it a single for a few months they can auction it off to the inmates.
Michael's told that if he doesn't take the meds, they'll use the "rear door." Uncomfortable! So Michael complies, but just hides the pills in his mouth and then spits them out. When he tries talking to Haywire again, the nutjob is spaced out. Michael's frustrated again, and hotly so.
SFG's showing off the cell to a prospective buyer, who offers $200. PB points out the leaky toilet and SFG promises to put in a work order and have it replaced within 24 hours. Uh-oh! T-Bag overhears this and soils his panties.
Westmoreland's showing C-Note a pic of his daughter taken when she was a baby. He tucks it into a gold watch on a chain that was a gift from his wife when their daughter was born. C-Note asks how long she has left and Westmoreland says a week, maybe two. T-Bag shows up with the bad news (presumably after he changed his pants). C-Note asks how much PB offered and T-Bag tells him $200. C says it should be no problem. So he saunters up to SFG and offers him double, SFG says he was offered $250 (Liar!).
Back to the Whack Shack. Michael pulls Haywire into a nicely secluded supply closet. He tells Haywire he has something in his teeth then proceeds to shove his fingers down Haywire's throat. After puking all over, Haywire skedaddles.
Linc's awakened by a call from L.J. The kid doesn't care about the trouble he's in; he's much too pissed that he bungled the Kellerman-killing. Veronica gets on the phone and says she's trying to get his trial moved to juvenile court, but L.J.'s not exactly showing remorse for his actions. Linc says he needs to see L.J. to get him straightened out. Veronica says she'll petition the DOC to let out Linc for a visit, but it's "a million to one shot."
The yard. C-Note meets up with the dude who sold Michael the spendy egg beater. C says he needs all his markers called in, "like yesterday."
Downtown (or uptown?) Chicago. Shot-in-the-Neck Kellerman is cut off in traffic (rude!) by a bunch of suspiscious-looking and obviously government cars. Agent Ro awesomely tells him, "You are done, bodyguard." He's not allowed to make a move on Linc and Paul Kellerman no longer works for the Secret Service since Owen Kravecki is now a witness in L.J.'s criminal investigation. Kellerman's pissed.
We catch up with the loony toons. As Haywire's being taken to group, he mutters, "It's a path."
C-Note's getting some bad news in the yard. Egg Beater Dude tells C that the debts owed to him now belong to EBD. Seems C's crew doesn't like the fact that he's playing nice with T-Bag. C slugs EBD and gets a beatdown by, like, a bazillion Angry Black Inmates.
Commercials. Anyone else think "The Sentinel" is just Kiefer playing Jack Bauer in a suit?
Michael follows Haywire to a closet where Haywire's throwing up. Michael opens up his white jumpsuit (woo!) and shows off his tattoo. "It's a pathway to Hell." "No, it's not. It's just the opposite." Haywire checks it out (as do I, my crazy friend, as do I). "I remember." Michael gives a triumphant smile.
Lunch. C-Note joins Westmoreland and T-Bag who comments, "Woo. Looks like the Bank of Africa wasn't allowing any withdrawals." C admits that yes, he's out of luck. T-Bag turns his attention to Westmoreland or "D.B" as he calls him. Westmoreland says he's not D.B. Cooper. So T-Bag brings up the "Kitchen Game"-a card game run by a Hispanic inmate in the back of the kitchen, hence the name. T-Bag says he's a wonder with a deck of cards, but it costs 50 bucks to sit in.
Michael's stripping! Just to the waist, but Yay! anyway. He peels off his bandage for Haywire to see. After much back and forth Haywire gets to sketching. Michael spies Hefty Inmate Cousin going by and asks him to get a message to Sucre: he's okay and he's trying to fill in the blanks. HIC agrees then gets an eyeful of Michael's burn. We get a mini-flashback of HIC freaking out over the burned uniform shirt.
Westmoreland asks SFG if he can check out the cell. Once there Westmoreland spies a bible and we get flashes of him handing said bible to Michael (along with a 100 dollar bill). Westmoreland goes to T-Bag and gives him the money. T-Bag points out that the bill was minted in 1972, but Westmoreland ignores him. So T-Bag makes his way to C-Note who wearily tells him to keep moving. T-Bag says they both have to play in the Kitchen Game. C says cards aren't his game, he's a dice man. T-Bag explains that if he wins whenever he deals he'll end up "with a Colombian Necktie." All C has to do is bet big and never fold when T-Bag deals, since no one will suspect the two are working together. Judging by the stink-eye EBD is shooting C-Note, I wouldn't bet on that.
Nick's still trying to find a charger for CQ's phone. As he's checking out a display, a besuited shifty gentleman asks where Veronica is. BSG reminds Nick to be careful of him and who he works for. He orders Nick to keep an eye on Veronica 'cuz they'll be calling in their favor soon.
Haywire's spacing again. Michael wonders if he took his meds. "Come on, you got something in your teeth again." So Michael leads Haywire to the closet once again, but this time Haywire throws Michael up against the wall. Haywire's a tad ticked that Michael set him up and had him sent back to the Whack Shack. He lets Michael go and shows him the sketch, saying he knows it's a map for an escape. "Now, do I tear this up or do you tell me exactly where and when you're doing this?"
And we're back after commercials with Michael explaining the way out, via the basement. He says he'll get out, but come back for Haywire. Haywire threatens to kill Michael if he betrays him. Ahhh-remember when Abruzzi threatened Michael in, like every episode? Good times. Haywire hands over the sketch.
Nick's looking rather pensive and feeling mighty guilty. Veronica gets back and sees the recharger. That CQ was one popular bastard-322 saved numbers in his phonebook.
Fox River kitchen. C-Note's winning, lots.
Kellerman's tattling on Agent Ro. Patricia is mucho displeased to hear what Agent Ro said. "Maybe it's time we broke ranks." Kellerman points out that if they do that, the Company will pull support for Patricia's campaign. "That is, if they know Paul." Ooh-sneaky.
C-Note's still winning and T-Bag is still doing what he does best-annoying everone around him. It's the last hand and it looks like a good one for C. He's got a straight going and needs either a 5 or a 10 to complete it. And looky here-he's getting the 10 of diamonds, but when C goes to grab the card, he knocks it over. The other players call for a misdeal, to bury the card. T-Bag finishes the deal and C gets the 2 of diamonds instead. Not good.
Pope meets with Linc and tells him the DOC granted his petition to visit L.J. He'll have one hour.
Back to the card game. Jesus goes all in with $82. C-Note makes a show of counting his bills before calling. Then he raises $74. Jesus points out he's all in. C says tough, he raised. Jesus is ticked. C wins the hand and gets another enemy in the process.
Haywire grabs a copy of the sketch and sneaks out of his room. He makes it to the basement door, but when he opens it an alarm sounds and he's rushed by orderlies. He screams about being set up and an escape, but he's tasered and carted away. Michael catches the action through the window in his door.
The yard. C-Note hands SFG the $500, but SFG says the price is now $700. So C hustles over to Westmoreland and demands the watch. Westmoreland refuses (understandable) but C asks, "Would you rather be lookin' at a picture of your daughter or holding her in your arms once you get outside?" So Westmoreland removes the pic and hands over the watch. C goes back to SFG, saying Westmoreland owed him and the watch is his payment. SFG pockets the watch then says someone's already paid $700, so C's "SOL." Ass.
Doc visits Michael. He's all adorable when he gives her the ashtray he made her. He tells her something just snapped when he was in the SHU, but he's better now. Doc agrees that the Whack Shack doctors say he's acting fine, but if he doesn't tell the Pope who burned him, he'll end up back in the SHU.
Speaking of the SHU...HIC is picking up dirty laundry and passes Michael's message to Sucre. Sucre asks HIC to pass on his own message, but HIC says he's had enough. He saw Michael's burn and he's through helping unless Sucre tells him what's going on. So Linc calls HIC over and says he's sure they can figure something out.
Dinner. Morale is low among the non-SHU'd and non-loony Escapees. HIC bustles up and says he can help. C-Note reacts negatively and slams HIC's head down on the table. HIC says Linc promised him "early parole" if he helps them out. T-Bag's pissed and threatens HIC, who tries to scurry away. Westmoreland calls T-Bag off and smoothes things over. So they plot.
HIC heads to the Whack Shack and fills in Michael. Then, being the busy bee he is, HIC heads outside and passes a bundle off to Westmoreland, who hides said bundle in a trash bin.
Michael meets with the Pope and gives him SFG's name. He informs the Pope that SFG shakes down the inmates and when Michael wouldn't pay up, he burned him. Pope's pissed.
Veronica's frustrated. Seems all the numbers in CQ's phone have been disconnected. Nick offers to send the info to his PI friend in DC.
Bellick and SFG are bitching in the break room when Pope shows up. He doesn't say anything, just proceeds to tear apart SFG's locker. He's really pissed. He finds the roll of $500, which he pockets (heh). Then he goes back to the locker. SFG and Bellick keep shooting looks at one another, but remain silent. Pope finds the watch and SFG decides now's the time to try and dig himself outta his hole. "Hey, that was a gift from my old man." "Since when is your name Charles and your dad's name Ann?" Pope's super pissed. He goes back to the locker and finds the burned uniform (courtesy of Westmoreland, I presume). Pope's exponentially pissed.
So SFG is escorted from the premises, minus a job. He bitches to Bellick, "Don't look at me like I'm some con. You're as crooked as Scoliosis." Bellick hisses, "I don't get caught."
Veronica's working and Nick's feeling guilty. He's also making a call. "She's here. I got her."
Michael's welcomed back to GenPop by Westmoreland, who's waiting in Michael's cell. Michael returns Westmoreland's watch.
Ambush anyone? Linc's being transported to his visit with many an armed guard when Wham! a semi smacks into the DOC van.
Next week: Abruzzi returns, minus the greasy hair.