Doc's still waiting for Michael to answer, but he's a little busy staring down the barrel of a gun. Corporal Cuckoo Mahone orders the brothers to turn around, but they refuse. "If you're gonna murder us, Alex, you're gonna have to look us in the eyes while you do it." Mahone screams that he just wants his life back. Michael asks him if it's worth killing two innocent men. "Absolutely," Mahone batshit crazies all over. Heh. Before he can follow through, however, Border Patrol shows up and orders him to drop his weapon. He complies.
Sucre's flyin' comes to a halt when the pilot informs him, "Border Patrol's on our ass." Sucre's handed a parachute and these words of wisdom, "Pull the cord and pray." The pilot jumps, Sucre takes a swig of booze (heh), crosses himself and follows.
SAM, Fox River, Posse Central and a host of others catch the news about the brothers' apprehension.
Kansas. T-Bag's in a bar and spots a guy with a prosthetic hand. He strikes up a conversation, but it doesn't go well.
Fox River (woo!). The new warden speechifies about blah blah who cares? He promises that Linc will be executed and Michael will spend the rest of his life behind bars. Whatever.
Posse Central. Agent R-HM#2 informs Mahone that the Illinois DOC will be handling the transfer of the brothers to Fox River. Mahone stomps his feet and hisses that he needs a ride on the transport vehicle.
Michael tells Linc that he needs to call Doc, but they won't have access to a phone until they're back in Fox River. God, I missed typing that. Linc figures that Mahone's gonna off them en route.
Mahone gets a call from super short SAM (that's his full name) who bitches about the brothers, "They're a little more, um, breathing than I had hoped." Heh. Mahone protests that they're currently locked up, under armed guard. SAM doesn't care so much and rattles off Callie's address as an incentive for Mahone.
T-Bag's now sporting that prosthetic hand, so I'm guessing the dude from the bar is no longer among the land of the living. He heads into a diner where he successfully hits on a redhead named Denise (hey, that's my best friend's name). Damn, Robert Knepper can be so charming as T-Bag when he needs to be.
Bellick's hearing. He's denied bail.
Mahone's well on his way to crazy town.
Michael's cell buzzes as Doc leaves a message that ends with, "I need you, please." Well, week after week, millions of viewers scream the same thing at their television screens and Wentworth Miller doesn't acknowledge them, so...
Mahone tries to get on the transpo van, but is shot down.
SAM answers his cell and it's Owen who smarms, "Bad day, Bill?" Owen says he can help as SAM's ordered by a creepy Shadowy Old Guy to put the call on speaker. SOG so orders by writing "SPEAKER" on a slip of paper. Owen wants his job back in exchange for helping out. Also, he wants direct access to Pres Patricia. That sounds kinda dirty. He reminds SAM that he's been with Pres Patricia since the beginning, so he knows a lot. SOG writes "PLAN?" SAM asks Owen for his plan and Owen says he's got a guy in the Illinois DOC who'll be in on the transfer.
Back to T-Bag. Denise is oh so satisfied (so T-Bag can perform). He sweet-talks her a bit and promises to pick her up after work.
SAM brings Mahone up to date on Owen's plan. SOG orders (in writing) SAM to "retire" Owen so SAM orders Mahone to kill him during the chaos of the brothers' attempted escape. After SAM hangs up he tells SOG that it'll be over soon and it'll be "back to business, as usual." SAM looks a wee bit frightened of SOG. And the dude is creepy, not saying a word, just writing little notes. Maybe he's mute. Or perhaps he believes utilizing his vocal cords in the presence of a peon is beneath him.
Caravan of Hot Brothers. Apparently now's the time for the brothers to reflect on days gone by. Linc asks if Michael regrets what he's done. "I don't regret the act, just how it turned out."
Bellick's in shackles (hee!). His lawyer informs him that the DA's offered a deal: 25 years. If Bellick doesn't take it, he could be facing the death penalty. Kudos, Wade Williams conveys fear rather well. He agrees to the deal, but asks to serve his sentence in Illinois, so he can be near MamaBellick. Aw.
Caravan of Hot Brothers. Michael and Linc check out their schackles (ooh, the brothers and cuffs...) as Owen and Mahone strategerize.
Doc hears the news about Michael and Linc.
Albuquerque. The Caravan of Hot Brothers heads into a tunnel and is stopped due to a big-ass semi blocking the end of said tunnel. A bunch of guys exit their vehicles to check it out. This includes the guard in the van, who leaves behind his keys. Dumbass. Mahone watches the van, muttering, "C'mon" over and over. Michael figures it's a set-up: keys out, door left unlocked. Mahone reports to Owen, saying they haven't bitten. Owen says he'll take care of it.
T-Bag arrives at the post office to pick up Denise. He asks for a little favor: he'd like her to look up the forwarding address for his "cousin" 'cuz his uncle left her some money. Denise does so, then spots T-Bag's mugshot on the wall. Uh-oh! T-Bag leaves the post office and Denise, presumably no longer living.
Fox River. Bellick's back! He babbles on and on to Horny Guard (yay!). He figures he'll spend his days playing scrabble in AdSeg. After a year or so, he can be recommended for a work-release program. He's just full of ideas. He says he'd be a dead man if he set foot in any other prison since he's an ex-guard (true), but here he's got the boys to watch his back. Horny Guard (who, it should be noted, still addresses Bellick as "Captain") says things have changed under NuWarden. No more preferential treatment. He's making an example of Bellick and putting him in GenPop. A newly repaired BitchMaster (gah!) greets Bellick as his new cellie. I'm quite sure Bellick's anus just closed up in fright. Let's take a moment to marvel at how quickly the wheels of justice spun for Bellick. He was arrested, indicted, arraigned, denied bail, offered a deal, accepted said deal and shipped to Fox River to begin serving his sentence all in the space of what? A day? That's really...wow. Just wow. And that's all I can say.
Doc enters a bathroom and takes out a razor blade.
Mexican desert. The pilot appears to be dead, but Sucre is alive and well.
Linc convinces Michael to run, thus disbanding the Caravan of Hot Brothers. Mahone alerts the Bad Guys as we go to commercials.
Ahh! It's Jack Bauer as Grizzly Adams!
When we come back, the brothers make it to a maintenance door in the tunnel wall as the cops open fire. Mahone goes another way and calls Owen to say they're heading straight for him. He's all, "Box 'em in, baby!"
T-Bag approaches a house as he fusses with his hair. He appears to be nervous. Single Mom answers the door (sporting a new haircut) and understandably freaks as T-Bag just waltzes in hissing, "Don't be frightened, Teddy's home." I so do not want to see how this turns out.
Run! boys, Run! As they scamper, Mahone reports to Owen and Michael makes Linc promise to find Doc if he (Michael) doesn't make it.
A newly shorn Doc dumps out her purse. Hair dye would've been a more effective disguise.
Ahh! The brothers are indeed boxed in. Owen's on one side, General Gone-Off-The-Deep-End Mahone is on the other. But what's this? A path appears to have cleared as Owen plugs Mahone and tells the boys, "President Reynolds ruined your life, she ruined my life. You wanna take the bitch down, you just found your inside man, but it's gotta be right now." Awesome. Michael and Linc are all, "What the hell?" I can't wait for them all to meet up with Doc and she'll be all, "Uh, you do know that this is the asshole who tortured me, right?"
Seems like it's been longer than a year since I danced around singing "I was SO right" about Hale's demise. Does anyone even remember him? Does anyone even remember Moronica? Who else will be forgotten when Prison Break returns in January?