Psych

Shawn: (reading a plaque) Queen Nefertitty? Juliet: Queen Nefertiti. Shawn: I've heard it both ways.

Lassiter: Come on, the mummy walked out? You are just trying to impress that silly little assistant curator. Shawn: Was she pretty? I hadn't noticed. Lassiter: Really? Brown eyes, languid smile, mile-long slender neck of a Balanchine dancer. Juliet: I had three different hairstyles last week and you didn't comment on one.

Gus: The Lexin glass case that houses it is worth more. Shawn: Lexin glass? Gus: Yeah. It's bullet proof. Shawn: Well, it would have to be in case the guns decide to fire themselves. Lexin glass. Gus: What? That's common knowledge, Shawn. People know that. Shawn: Who? People in Charlton Heston's house? Gus: Yes. And? Your mama.

Shawn: I'm going to have to concur with detective Carlito Lasiteros on this one, that mummy was not stolen Ms. Bridgewell. I'm afraid it walked out all on its own.

Shawn: Come on, man. This is gonna be good for you. Walk to me. Face your fears. Gus: You can talk all you want, but facts and logic will win out this time. Shawn: Facts and logic are in the corner of the guy who thinks he's gonna get his face melted off? Gus: I'm not hearing it, Shawn.

Gus: Paleo-Sleuth Shawn Spencer. Shawn: I know. Gus: I dug that thing up, too. Shawn: Gus, believe me, I was appalled myself at first... sickened, really. But then I noticed, look, they didn't forget you completely. Gus: Where? Shawn: There, right there. The "photo by" section. Gus: That says "photo by Bruton Gaster." Shawn: Well, I gave them the info when I was driving through a tunnel so that probably played a role.

Sophie: It's a 3000-year-old mummy that's missing, Officer. Lassiter: It's Detective and it's not like it was covered in gold. I mean he wasn't a king or a prince or even a royal food taster. Just some guy who happened to die, got himself wrapped up, and was found in a pretty, cracked box. He probably mummified himself. Juliet: He hasn't had his coffee yet.

Lassiter: Wait, you're the curator? Sophie: Assistent curator. Lassiter: I'd like to speak to someone in charge. Sophie: I am in charge. Juliet: She sounds in charge.

(Gus is watching Shawn over the security cameras as Shawn tries to evade him, and they use cell phones to talk) Gus: I saw that. Got it on two angles...Do you wanna give this up any time soon?...You're crawling...I see you Shawn. You're behind the plant...See you there, see you there...The plant is moving across the room, Shawn...Leave that poor lady alone, Shawn...You're using the carpet? Really? Wait a minute, I almost bought that for a second...You're using the wolf pelt?... This is like watching Entrapment, but instead of watching Catherine Zeta-Jones, they have some guy with pancake butt. Shawn: I do not have pancake butt...What do you got? You got something? Gus: Yep. Shawn: Really? Gus: Yep. Shawn: You can see me right now? Gus: Horrid, Shawn, horrid. (Shawn goes to talk to the curator) Gus: Great, now I gotta watch this? (Shawn mutes him, Gus continues to talk) Gus: You're muting me? For the first interesting thing that's happened? (mocking) Look at me, look at me, I love my hair. I can make up obscure 80's references that nobody understands. Laugh at me. Know something about me? I have a motorcycle, but I never seem to be riding it. (Shawn starts hiding again) Shawn: How about this? You seeing this? Gus: Yep. Shawn: How about now? See this? Gus: Terrible. Shawn: (with a barrel over his head) How about this? You seeing this? Gus: If you're gonna hide under a barrel, don't put the phone next to your ear. Shawn: You're getting all of this? You can see all of this? Gus: Yep. Whoa, I lost you...Oh, there you are. Shawn: Ha, I got you. Gus: For one second Shawn. (Shawn runs off, off screen, and Gus can't find him) Gus: Trying that corner again? Please...Shawn? (Phone starts beeping) Gus: Great, now you wore down my battery. Where are you? (Shawn appears beside him in the security room) Shawn: How about now?

Shawn: Come on dude, I honestly had no idea he was going to be pulling a corpse from the ground. Gus: Don't worry about it Shawn, I honestly didn't know I was going to putting my foot in your ass. Life's full of surprises.