Psych

Peach Guy: You're back. Shawn: We couldn't stay away from your citrus. Gus: Peaches aren't citrus, Shawn. They're stone fruit. Shawn: What's the difference? Gus: Stone fruits have a pit. Plums, cherries, peaches, and apricots.

Henry: You still haven't answered the question of why he dug all those holes around the house. Shawn: Dad, that's the finale. That's why I don't invite you to these things.

Gus: You almost closed down our agency with that little act of yours Shawn. Shawn: Me? You're the one spending all your extra time at your little side project. Gus: You mean my real job? Soon to be my only job?

Chief Vick: Mr. Spencer, I'm surprised you didn't take the Segway. Shawn: She did know about that. Chief Vick: O'Hara just told me. Shawn: Traitor!

Shawn: Is there a problem? Juliet: With what? Shawn: With you, with me, with the chief. She hasn't called in a month. Is she still mad about me requisitioning the Segway? Juliet: You did that? Shawn: No.

Lassiter: Why Spencer you look so sad. Come on, we'll show you how real cops do it. Juliet: No comeback? (Shawn looks down and says nothing.) Shawn, that's slightly embarrassing. Shawn: (now alone) Where'd you get that to.. suit, the toilet store.

Lassiter: (walks over to Shawn and Juliet talking) Spencer. Long time no see, or is it, no need?

Juliet: Detective Lassiter is literally on fire. Shawn: What kind of fire are we talking about? Michael Jackson in the Pepsi commercial fire. Or misusing the word literally fire? Juliet: He solved 8 cases in a row fire.

Juliet: The short answer is, we just haven't really needed any outside help. Shawn: Well, what's the long answer. I mean, throw a but in there, and add something about a dream where you and I got thrown out of a mattress showroom.

(examining body) Shawn: Completely stumped, hmm. Chief: You getting something Mr. Spencer? Shawn: Yes. (takes pad and pen away from Lassiter) Yes I am. Lassiter: No no no no no hang on! I I've got it. The wound on the head was caused by the edge of a boat. When he fell in the water unconscious and the wounds in the back were caused by a large industrial crab trap. Or a whale, definitely could have been a whale. Lost from his pod, separated. Migrating north or south, sees our man already dead floating up on the surface, thinks it's a seal and then (makes claw) whale.

Shawn: (flashlight is shown in Shawn's face) Ahh, Gus, that thing is brighter than the sun. I think you just gave me glaucoma. Gus: You can't give someone glaucoma.

Karen: We just got a break in the case. We just found out the name of the dead man, you wanna tell them who he is detective? Lassiter: No. Karen: (pause) His name is Christopher Franzen. He was a paleontologist. (Shawn looks puzzled at Gus) Gus: A dinosaur hunter. Shawn: As expected.

Shawn: Just because I take Gus' giant dinosaur head down to a dead body, does not make me a nut job. Gus: What... you took my T-Rex? My mom gave it to you?

Shawn: You're mad. Gus: No I'm not mad. I'm happy. I'm thrilled. I love looking like an idiot. Shawn: Well that explains your shoes.

Shawn: Dude, look at the road when your driving! Gus: I'm staying down for safety. Shawn: He was shooting directly into the air, Gus. Gus: Bullets go up they have to come down. Shawn: Do you know what the trajectory would have to be for that to happen. Gus: Don't you dare argue physics with me! Not while were in the process of getting killed!

Shawn: Oh look at that. It's like that movie. The one with Sigourney Weaver. Gus: Aliens? Shawn: Noo. Gus: Alien? Shawn: No. Gus: Alien: Resurrection? Shawn: Gus, the one with holes and Shia LaBeouf. Gus: They had holes in Shia LaBeouf? Shawn: The holes are in the ground dude, like that(points at field)and Jon Voight was walking around all crazy. Gus: Oh, Anaconda! Shawn: Man never mind. Gus: Gorillas in the Midst? Death of the Maiden? Shawn: No! Gus: Half Moon Streak? Shawn: Just let it go.

Henry: Shawn, what are you doing? Gus: Yeah, what are we doing, Shawn? Shawn: I need to borrow some tools. Henry: What kind of tools? Shawn: Digging tools. Little excavation project we got going on. Henry: Are you still on the dinosaur thing? Gus: We're still on the dinosaur thing? Shawn: What, is there an echo in here? Yes, we're still on the dinosaur thing.