Pushing Daisies Season 2 Episode 2

Emerson: This ain't no circus. A circus is supposed to smell like popcorn and cotton candy, not wet saw dust and underarm.

Emerson: It's a traveling circus, not a wait-around-for-you-two-to-work-all-your-junk-out circus!

Chuck: "There was a young man named Von Deenis..."
Ned: "Who they said had a very big..."
(cut to black)

Narrator: The Pie Maker had grown accustomed to the feeling his heart made when it looked out his eyes and saw her sleeping in the next bed.

Emerson: That thing should have said, "If this van's a-rockin', I'm being murdered."

Emerson: You know how to knock?
Georgeann Heaps: I did knock. I came in, I said to myself, "I hope this good man can help me, knock wood," and then I knocked. My name is Georgeann Heaps.
Emerson: It's my nature to reward pushiness with inattention, Mrs. Heaps.

Chuck: You didn't sleep well.
Ned: It was deep and perfect, like a nap in the backseat of a car after a day at the beach.

Ned: Emerson needs me.
Chuck: Why? There's no dead body to wake up.
Emerson: Nice. Anyone not hear that?

Ned: I promise I'll let you come next time.
Chuck: Thank you for your permission.
Ned: You don't need my permission.
Chuck: Thank you for the permission not to need your permission.

Pierre: But remember, there are two things clowns make around here. Balloon animals and enemies.

Ned: Where can we find these clowns?
Bailey: Drunk in a ditch would be my guess. They usually stumble in just before showtime, and they always travel in a pack.
Ned: Like wolves.
Bailey: More like cigarettes.

Narrator: In less than 16 seconds, the dead girl who was not dead would be involved in the smallest of ironic coincidences. For just as she said to herself…
Chuck: I wish I were where the action were at.
Narrator: …she was where it were at.

Ned: It's hard enough being in a relationship where we can't touch. But… we improvise, figured out ways around that. I've even built contraptions.
Emerson: Do you understand how a head works? Do you? Because every time you say something I got to think it. You say "Monkey in a bellhop suit driving a car," I think "Monkey in a bellhop suit driving a car." Don't tell me what you all do together.
Ned: There's a weird mask.
Emerson: Please, now I'm begging you to stop this.
Ned: No, there's a weird clown back there in the bushes.

Ned: Why the change of heart about Nikki?
Emerson: I guess my glass is half full on this one.
Ned: Generally speaking, I would say you don't even have a glass. You just have a wet ring on the coffee table where the glass used to be.

Narrator: Olive and Lily ate the morning porridge and wondered if the truffle-hunting pig might be retrained to hunt for a packet of sugar.

Ned: How do we make it work? I knew the caterpillar, but maybe it's time for you to become the butterfly.
Emerson: You did not just say that.
Ned: Did not know you were there.