Pushing Daisies Season 1 Episode 4

Chuck: There's so much I'm learning about you.
Ned: Such as?
Chuck: You're a romantic.
Ned: When the mood strikes.
Chuck: And you're jealous when the mood strikes.
Ned: Everyone's a little jealous. I mean, if you're not a little jealous you're probably... can we not talk about this?
Emerson: The answer to your query is "yes."

Elsita: I was born into the life of windmillery.

Narrator: And the pie maker realized that while some obstacles may not disappear... you can always find a way to work around them.

Lefty: I'm sorry, was that guy your boyfriend? The guy who took a step back and let you fall?
Chuck: It was actually a really affectionate gesture. In context.

Lefty: Jackson was my prison bunkmate.
Vivian: Is bunkmate a euphemism for...?
Lefty: Not in this case, ma'am.

Lefty: That's my bird.
Elsita: What are you on about? It's my bird.
Lefty: I'll prove it. I wrote the note. Where's the note?
Olive: (coming through the door) Hello! Can I get my bird back, please?
Elsita and Lefty: Your bird?!
Olive: Yes, my bird. She's a carrier pigeon. She has a message and she has to have carry it. It's what she does.

Ned: No, actually I want to talk about this. I could let it go, but like the cat, it will come back, which I wouldn't call annoying, but there's no really great way of saying half-annoying, which it is a little bit.
Chuck: See? Isn't this neat? Here we were thinking all we had was one big problem when in actual fact we have hundreds of little problems that we have got to to sort out before we even get to the big problem, which means we're like everybody else in the world.
Ned: Except I still can't catch you.
Emerson: Are we taking two cars next time?

Ned: You know what our problem is?
Chuck: If you're referring to the touching thing, I see it as more of an obstacle than a problem.
Ned: It's a pretty big obstacle.
Chuck: Not compared to our other problems.
Ned: We've got other problems?
Emerson: I'm going to kill myself.

Narrator: The pie maker and the girl he called Chuck marveled at love's ability to conquer all obstacles: distance and time, hardship and pain, a lack of reciprocation, even death.

Ned: Care to dance?
Chuck: Yes, please.

Olive: Well, now wasn't that a nice outing?
Lily: I could use a drink.

Olive: If you know what's good for you, and I think you do, you'll give me two minutes.
Emerson: Why?
Ned: What for?
Chuck: Okay!
Olive: Goody then!

Emerson: Maybe your finger needs a new battery, here let me try. (slaps the curator with Ned's hand)

Chuck: (talking about Lefty) Ned, he's an escaped convict.
Ned: You didn't know that when you held his hand and P.S. not only is he an escaped convict, he's a hijacker who has prevented thousands of crops from being airily fertilized. And he stuffed a surly old dead guy in a trunk.

(curator passes out)
Emerson: Now that's narcoleptic, necrophilia's the other one?
Ned: Yeah.

Ned: I would have preferred a little more eyeball.

Emerson: (about Lefty) That one-armed bitch was speedy.

Emerson: (to Chuck, about Lefty) Where did he go?
Chuck: Conrad? He was going to the bathroom.
Ned: He's not Conrad, he's the hijacker. And he's going to the bathroom in my kitchen.

Chuck: Do you like pie?
Lefty: It'd be criminal not to like pie.

Ned: The plane was hijacked!
Becky Caden: How'd you come by that?
Ned: DNA... ish.

Coroner: (to Emerson) Why are you bothering this poor woman? You and that white boy got some kind of shifty going on? I don't know what, but you're shifty.

Chuck: Why can't we just be here as concerned citizens of the world?
Emerson: Because big daddy needs some new yarn.
Ned: Just because there's a dead body doesn't mean you're going to get paid.
Emerson: Just because there's vodka in my freezer doesn't mean I have to drink it. Wait, yes it does.

Emerson: (a dead bird is accidentally brought to life by Ned) What is the rate of exchange on the life of a bird? Because if it's equal to or greater than mine I need to get back to my car.
Ned: I'm more concerned for that squirrel.

Chuck: You do realize that bee keeping within city limits is completely illegal.
Ned: Yes, and I'm almost sure I don't care.

Narrator: In that moment, Chuck was holding the pie maker's hand; if only by proxy.

Ned: Did you see the way he just swept in there?
Emerson: Yeah. So?
Ned: I don't sweep. I'm not a sweeper.
Emerson: Eh, it's a little showy.
Ned: It's a lot showy! And what's a rooftop full of bees compared to someone who can catch her when she falls? I can't catch her, Emerson.
Emerson: Can't suck on her toes neither...
(Ned gives an odd look)
Emerson: Some women like that!

Ned: The ambulance is leaving.
Chuck: Oh, you go ahead. I'm gonna stay here and see if there's anything I can do.
Ned: I'm sure he's fine. Statistically speaking, his state can only improve. Dead pilot on the other hand probably has lots of last wishes.
Emerson: Yeah, like maybe wishing he'd turned left.

Olive: I recently made the acquaintance with a pair of bird lovers, I'll consult them.
Narrator: Olive was referring to aunts; Lily and Vivian.
Chuck: Really? I used to know a pair of bird lovers!
Narrator: Chuck also referred to aunts; Lily and Vivian.
Olive: Used to? Did they die?
Chuck: (pause) Death was involved...

Emerson: Where did you bury your loot, Jack?
Jackson: Ha! Why should I tell you?
Ned: Good karma, it's like currency in the after-life.

Jackson: (after being revived) I can't see anything. Am I blind?
Ned: Good news is you're not blind. Bad news is you're dead.
Chuck: Makes blind seem like a walk in the park, doesn't it?

Emerson: (to Ned) Your thing is waking up dead people. My thing is finding dead people for you to wake up.