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Charlotte "Chuck" Charles
Trivia: Trophy wife Elise reads Trophy magazine.
Elise: There is no way I could pull the trigger on a gun. I'm too blinged out.
Elise: Besides, I couldn't kill anybody with these hands. Since I grew these puppies out, my manicure means I'm a mani-can't for manual labor.
Emerson: You two backing up each others' alibis means bupkiss. You're canoodling and cahooting and you're cahooting to kill.
Lily: (to Dwight) It's time to nip you in the budding romance.
Chuck: The only thing I could smell was a swashbuckling do-gooder who was in the wrong place at the wrong time.
Emerson: Smells like puppy crap to me.
Narrator: Alone in a room that was once hers, Chuck felt, for a moment, like a little girl again. Thinking of the momentos in the box, among them the birthday presents she was never able to give her father, Chuck thanked her 8-year-old self.
Chuck: Thank you, 8-year-old self.
Chuck: We could use my aunts' house.
Olive: Oh. Is there a sting? I wanna sting. Can I sting?
Chuck: Ring for Right. Orbis pro vox.
Emerson: Which means your ass is busted in PI lingo.
Emerson: (to Ned) You know, you need to peel back that pie crust you're working under and turn on the news some time. Rich people are getting robbed left and right by some happy hooligan who leaves the same Latin calling card at every scene.
Daniel: Gustav, was a... he was more than a client. He was a cantankerous bombast with a violent temper and a lust for power and wealth. in lawyer speak, I was in love with him.
Emerson: He doesn't look like the richest man in town.
Chuck: They say he had the Midas touch. Did you ever stop to think you're a little bit like King Midas, except substitute "life" for gold." and obviously you don't have donkey ears.
Ned: Midas was a miser like Scrooge, but hungrier. I'm a philanthropist.
Emerson: Just touch the sucker.
Emerson: Hello, motive. Nice to see you again.
Chuck: You're a lying liar and a murderer. Both of which are bad.
Chuck: Why'd you do it, Elise?
Elise: I didn't do anything... except James Andrew.
Daniel Hill: Gustav was robbed the night he died. I mean, it happens when you have a fortune like his.
Emerson: What kind of fortune we talkin' about?
Daniel Hill: The kind built upon your tight balls.
Chuck: Well, this is a very, um, nice… castle that you have, Mrs. Hoffer.
Elise: Thanks. It's a wreck right now, getting it all set up for the wake. You should totally come. Everybody who's anybody is gonna be here celebrating Gustav's death.
Chuck: You mean, "life."
Elise: Sure, whatever.
Chuck: To be fair, I should tell you that I have a gun in my pocket.
Rob Wright: To be fair, I don't really believe you.
Chuck: To be even more fair, all I have to do is scream and a whole cadre of big, strong men and sweet middle-aged ladies with shotguns will come running.
Rob Wright: Fair enough, and yet you haven't. Perhaps because you believe that society has a moral obligation to protect the least fortunate of it's ranks. And where society fails…
Chuck: You pick up the slack. Which sounds incredibly noble, until you kill someone.
Rob Wright: From one gentleman to another, allow me to apologize for our current situation.
Emerson: Well, I'd be a lot more receptive to that apology if there wasn't a knife pointed at my gullet.
Daniel Hill: He deserves the Crème de la Crème, not some sugar-stuffed pop-tart with a helium voice and hooker heels.
Ned: Stakeouts are only fun when there are binoculars for everyone.
Lily: You must be out of your damn minds! There is no way in Tinkerbell's tiny butt cheeks that you are gonna roll out the welcome mat on my front porch for a bunch of thieves!
Ned: We know it's an imposition...
Lily: An imposition is ordering clams at a kosher deli. Robbers nowadays are multi-hyphenate hoodlums. They don't just rob. Oh no. They strip you naked, lather you in lard and slide you into the walls and leave you there. Then they rob you.
Ned: When you put it that way...
Lily: Why don't I just get a shovel and start digging my shallow grave now?
Chuck: The world would be a better place if everybody dabbed calamine on welts of bad news.
Narrator: In his search for a brass pocket watch, Dwight Dixon found a heart of gold.
Emerson: There's a comfort in knowing that telemarketers are just as horrible in real life.
Ned: What is a key party, anyway?
Chuck: Oooh. I love that you don't know that. It's a kind of a raffle.
Emerson: Of the porno variety.
Ned: Oh. (understanding) Oooh.
Gustav: Do you know who I am, Elmer?
Emerson: You're about to be the first man ever to be murdered twice.
Lily: I don't trust him further than I can spit. And I can spit. Look at the way he drapes himself all over her. Ugh. Makes me want to stick a fork in my eye. I need a drink.
Olive: You're holding one.
Lily: I need a stronger one. And a fork.
Vivian: Lily is naturally suspicious of new liaisons, but I felt compelled to come clean about our relationship. Sneaking around is for politicians in bathroom stalls.
Dwight: Not for a brisk and bucolic autumn cum winter afternoon on the park.
Olive: Counterintelligence via pie delivery. Like gossiping with a purpose. My specialty.
Olive: Does your Aunt Vivian's nice smelling new boy-toy have something to do with you faking your death?
Germany: February 18, 2009 on ProSieben
Slovakia: August 16, 2010 on Markiza
Czech Republic: November 10, 2010 on Prima COOL
Finland: February 13, 2011 on Sub
Emerson: Anger leads to hate.
Referencing the movie Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace (1999) in which Jedi master Yoda states that "Fear is the path to the Dark Side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering."
Olive: Missed it by that much.
Referencing Maxwell Smart, Agent 86 from the TV series Get Smart. One of the most popular comedy series of the mid-60's, the program starred Don Adams and Barbara Feldon and was notable for its many catchphrases. Max would often use this one after some disastrous (and often fatal) occurrence.
Rob Wright: With nowhere to house these animals, dogcatchers are calling it "The Big Sleep."
The Big Sleep is a celebrated 1939 detective novel by Raymond Chandler and is considered one of the seminal works in American mystery fiction. Featuring his iconic detective character Philip Marlowe, the book has been twice adapted into movies.
Referencing Eva Gabor's performance as Lisa Douglas on the TV series Green Acres (1965-1971), which starred Eddie Albert as Oliver Wendell Douglas and Gabor as his wife. The city couple move to a farm despite being completely inept at farming and chores. Specific references to Lisa Douglas include the Hungarian accent, the 60s haute couture and a pig being used as a pet.
Olive: Maybe he's the old priest and the young priest is coming.
Referencing The Exorcist (1973), one of the most celebrated horror movies of all time. It is based on the 1971 novel by William Peter Blatty. In the story an older priest is assisted by a younger priest in battling the supernatural by attempting to free a girl of demonic possession.
The title of this episode is a play on the legendary figure of English folklore, Robin Hood, an outlaw whose motive was robbing the rich to give to the poor. Robin Hood was portrayed in many versions all in writing, stage, screen, and film. Some of the most famous film versions include the 1938 film The Adventures of Robin Hood starring Errol Flynn, the 1973 animated Disney film which placed animals in the human roles, the 1991 film Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves starring Kevin Costner, and the 1993 Mel Brooks spoof Robin Hood: Men in Tights.
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