Chuck: It's like driving a car blindfolded. You just have to relax.
Olive: I'll be in the kitchen rationalizing my panic attack.
Ned: What better place to nurture romance than the Pie Hole? Warmth, pie, snuggly booths.
Olive: So what you're saying is, I shouldn't run away from Randy.
Olive: That Randy might be just what I need right now.
Olive: A quick fling to heal the scars and and rub ointment on the burns from us, and then rip off and toss away like a used square of gauze.
Ned: Not yes.
Olive: He's Randy Rebound.
Ned: No he's not.
Amelia Stingwell: Forgive me, but your door was ajar.
Emerson: Well, just because it was ajar doesn't change the fact that it was a door before it was ajar, which would indicate to most people to a-knock before a-entering.
Chuck: How can yo not tell me that you have a daughter? We buried bodies together.
Narrator: With each passing thermos, the private investigator grew more blind to the fact that he was fast approaching the thin line between "stake out" and "make out."
Puget: Never known you to share, Cod. What's your angle?
Emerson: Maybe I wouldn't mind a little help bringing down the hammer of justice on whatever lowlife did this. Doesn't matter to me if the hammer is public or private, long as the nail gets hit on the head. You catch my drift?
Puget: I do not.
Emerson: Catch the bitch.
Olive: Well, signals are like nuts--mixed are better. And who wants all the same kind, right?
Olive: Some things are so absurd that I can't even hear them. Like you just blew a dog whistle full of crazy, and I'm not a dog.
Brunt: Now, when is your birthday, precious?
Brunt: Hmmm. Funny, I would have bet you were an autumn birthday. See, the deep orange of orchid embers and Asiatic lilies make your skin tone glow.
Chuck: Well, actually, I have two birthdays, and my second one's in the fall, so actually you're right.
Brunt: Your gibberish is sweet, honey. Keep the flowers.
Narrator: As he considered the power of the hydroelectric plant he had designed, Stingwell was struck by the irony, then by the water.
Field Cate, Ellen Greene, and Swoosie Kurtz are credited but don't appear.
Germany: March 11, 2009 on ProSieben
UK: April 24, 2009 on ITV1
Australia: August 25, 2009 on W Channel
Slovakia: August 23, 2010 on Markiza
Czech Republic: December 15, 2010 on Prima COOL
Finland: March 20, 2011 on Sub