Ned: I don't like giving funny names to the pies. Does it not seem disrespectful?
Ned: You know, now that I'm out of dead-waking and back to just pie-baking and no longer touching dead fruit, I can eat my own pie! I'm gonna get fat, aren't I?
Chuck: Are you sure you don't want to untie those apron strings and lace up those chasin' laces?
Ned: My apron is staying on, with its strings securely tied in a double-figure-eight follow-through knot.
Ned: I want to lead a normal life, a guy who just makes pies. Who wants to be Superman? Not me. I say no to super and yes to man. I'm Clark Kent.
Emerson: Well that's just downright crap-tastic, Clark. I now have an abnormally large amount of work to do on account of no one here wants to touch a dead lady so I can ask who killed her.
Chuck: Emerson, Emerson! What about me?
Emerson: No conversation I ever want to have begins with those three words.
Chuck: I mean, I may not be Superman, but I'm smart, and I'm helpful. I mean.. maybe I could be your sidekick. I could be the Alive-Again Avenger, who comes back from the dead to solve her own murder and stayed back from the dead to bring justice to murder victims everywhere, with the help of a crusty, unflappable, streetwise unflappable gumshoe.
Emerson: That'd make me the sidekick.
Chuck: I'm good either way.
Buster: What do we always say about the past?
Olive: It makes an ass out of you and me.
Emerson: Loaning pie-boyfriend to your bestie who's in love with him, in order to to pull the wool over fake papas' peepers, is the the kind of idea that gives a bad idea the will to live.
Chuck: Maybe Coco's gone loco and she killed Erin so she could have her first solo window.
Emerson: Yeah, we need to be at that unveiling tonight just in case Coco did go loco. Fo-sho... co.
Lily: The only thing that smokes in this house is the Gouda. You want a cancer-stick, you stick it outside on the porch.
Coroner: Exact time will take me a little conducting... and another $20.
Emerson: Thirty minutes will do, thank you.
Coroner: Oh, that's how it is. Well, then, I'll make a... mental note on that.
Emerson: Don't be making no mental notes on me.
Coroner: At a crime scene I make mental notes on whatever I feel needs note-makin'... mentally.
Chuck: His honesty tilts a little toward the "I don't care that they died" territory.
Emerson: "Tilts"? His honesty falls right into the "I killed both of them skanks" side of things.
Vivian: You've given me something to believe in, like the likeness of the Virgin Mary found ingrained in the center of a potato, or tortilla. Right now, you and Ned are my tortilla.
Emerson: People who need people to do every damn thing for them aren't always the luckiest people in the world. Sometimes those peeps get pissed off and start resenting their lazy-ass bosses. Erin and Coco's peep done gone postal and killed both of 'em.
Chuck: Peep this, playa.
Emerson: Don't do that.
Olive: Ned, I never thought I'd say this, but we need to back off on the PDA, 'cause Vivian's P's and Q's have gone AWOL and I can't take much more of what I just took before I'm DOA.
Ned: Olive... use your words.
Olive: "Try on"? You try on a sweater at the mall. You try on your best friend's bra and you smile on the inside 'cause yours are bigger and better.
Buster: I'm not mad at you.
Jerry: Take "mad" and multiply that by a power of "pissed."
Ned: Don't be mad--and certainly not to a power of that degree.
Randy: Nobody gave a crap about Clark Kent. He could disappear off the face of the Daily Planet and nobody would even notice. But I bet he'd spit spandex to find someone special.
Narrator: The Pie Maker looked at Olive, the person who cared for the man and knew nothing about the cape, and silently wished for spandex saliva.
Ned: I'm Superman. I've got a finger faster than a speeding bullet. Come on. Who can I touch?
One of the window designers was named Coco, which is the name of David Arquette's daughter.
Music: Hello (Lionel Richie, performed here by Kristin Chenoweth)
The cartoon that Young Olive watches on television with Jerry and Buster is the 1956 Bugs Bunny cartoon, A Star is Bored.
One of the window dressers is named Denny Downs. He shares the name of Kristin Chenoweth's (Olive Snook) best friend.
Field Cate is credited but doesn't appear.
Richard Benjamin and George Segal are billed as Special Guest Stars.
Germany: March 4, 2009 on ProSieben
Turkey: April 7, 2009 on CNBC-e
UK: April 17, 2009 on ITV1
Australia: August 18, 2009 on the W Channel
Slovakia: August 20, 2010 on Markiza
Czech Republic: December 8, 2010 on Prima COOL
Finland: March 13, 2011 on Sub
Ned: Who wants to be Superman? Not me. I say no to super and yes to man. I'm Clark Kent.
This and other comments referencing the comic book character created by Jerry Siegel and Joe Shuster in Action Comics #1 (June 30, 1938). Arguably the most recognized comic book character in the world, Baby Kal-El was rocketed from the doomed planet Krypton, landed on Earth, and gains superpowers under the yellow sun. Assuming the identity of mild-manner Clark Kent, Superman fights a neverending battle for Truth, Justice, and the American way, and has appeared on radio, television, cinema, video games, and novels among other media.
Ned: Olive... use your words.
Referencing Michael Crichton's 1987 novel Sphere, subsequently made into a movie in 1998. The novel chronicles a team of scientists in an underwater habitat who make contact with an alien life form, which they name "Jerry." When Jerry has trouble communicating with them (via a computer monitor and keyboard), psychologist Norman Johnson (Goodman in the movie) says "Jerry, use your words."
Emerson: Woman still in the holiday spirit guzzles too many spirits, does a Gene Kelly-round-the-rosy...
This is a reference to Gene Kelly's famous dance to the title song of the 1952 musical film Singin' in the Rain.
Ned: Pearway to Heaven, it's new.
Referencing the 1971 song Stairway to Heaven by Led Zeppelin, released on the band's untitled fourth album. The song runs 8:02, meaning that it was never released as a single because the band refused to cut it down to fit.
Ned: ... but more unfulfilling than Rock Me Amade-Quince
Referencing the 1985 song Rock Me Amadeus by Austrian pop musician Falco.
References the 1980 movie Dressed to Kill directed by Brian De Palma. The movie features a prostitute who witnesses the murder of a psychiatrist's patient and the killer's subsequent attempts to eliminate the person who can put them away.