QI Season 3 Episode 2

Stephen: Do Batchelor make beans?
Alan: Yeah, but they're not as good as Heinz. Why aren't they?!
Arthur: Why doesn't someone else go into making beans? It's like Heinz, who's Heinz? You know...
Alan: Gordon Ramsay. He could do beans.
Doon: Ramsay beans. F***ing beans, he'd say.
Stephen: It's a brilliant idea. A whole new range of 'Gordon F***ing Foods'.
Alan: On the instructions it'd say 'Put it in a f***ing saucepan, you f***ing idiot! Show a bit of f***ing passion!'

Stephen: In Glasgow, perhaps the least healthy food ever sold, is the deep-fried pork sausage kebab. You take the pork sausage, you wrap it in doner kebab meat, you coat it in batter and you deep-fry it. It's 1000 of your best calories and 46 grams of fat!
Arthur: Yeah, but if you called it 'Saucisson en Croute de avec un Coulis Superbe' you could charge £25 for it!

Stephen: There's a thing called moronic acid. To whom would you give moronic acid?
Andy: Is that the scientific name for Newcy Brown?