Arthur Smith: D'you know what you should drink with the beating heart of a cobra? This is a dish in China where you get a cobra - and it's brought to the table alive. They then slice it open, rip the heart out, and it's beating on the plate there - you have to chase it round the plate, I s'pose - and then you drink the blood of the snake as the wine.
Clive Anderson: Actually I ordered the lasagne...
Stephen Fry: The description of Chagas disease is unpleasant: vomiting, preceded by shivering, hysterical crying, dying sensations; half-faint, copious and very palid urine.
Arthur Smith: This is pre-menstral tension!
Stephen Fry: Name something quite interesting that kangaroos can't do.
Alan Davies: They can't drive.
Vic Reeves: In my career, I've had occasion to hire many, many an animal...but the most expensive was a pelican.
Stephen Fry: Was it an enormous bill?
Arthur Smith: What's the most disgusting thing you've ever eaten Alan?
[A long pause as Alan thinks.]
Alan Davies: Earwax.
Stephen Fry: [on saccharin's accidental discovery] Saccharin - he forgot to wash his hands after playing with some chemicals, and then found his food tasted sweet - so he's American, obviously, 'cause he ate with his fingers...
Stephen Fry: What connects gelignite, saccharin and the rings around Uranus?
[Arthur presses his buzzer.]
Arthur Smith: This is what I call a fantastic night out.
Vic Reeves: I remember it raining one Saturday.
Stephen Fry: That's a lovely story. That is gorgeous.
Clive Anderson: Well, it's just an element of Sod's Law, isn't it, that you try to do something outdoors, and fates, y'know...
Arthur Smith: Clive, Clive... Sod's Law doesn't really exist.
Clive Anderson: As a practising sod and lawyer, I, um... If it doesn't exist, I'm sure this government will introduce it fairly soon.
Stephen Fry: Why does it always rain at the weekend?
Clive Anderson: Is it because cricket matches are played at the weekend, and...
Stephen Fry: And God doesn't like cricket.
Clive: "Battle Stations"
Vic: Nautical tune
The final scores:
Vic: +16 points
Alan: 0 points
Clive: -7 points
Arthur: -23 points
In this episode, each panellist is given a picture of a genuine United States Patent Office patent application. They have to guess what they think they're for.
Clive: "Well, it's just an element of Sod's Law, isn't it, that you try to do something outdoors, and fates, y'know..."
Sod's Law is the name for the old and famous axiom "Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong".
"Toast will always land butter side down" is often given as an example of Sod's Law in action.
The term is still commonly used in Britain, though in North America the newer eponymous "Murphy's Law" has become more popular.
"Sod's Law" is similar to, but broader than, "Murphy's Law". For example, concepts such as "bad fortune will be tailored to the individual" and "good fortune will occur in spite of the individual's actions" are sometimes given as examples of "Sod's Law" in action. This would broaden "Sod's Law" to a general sense of being "mocked by fate".
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