Season 1 Episode 4

Goodbye Polumbus

Aired Friday 8:00 PM Mar 17, 1978 on NBC
out of 10
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Episode Summary

Goodbye Polumbus
Quark and his crew are sent on a suicidal mission to Polumbus to discover why no one has returned alive. Quark and his crew fall prey to their fantasies as part of a fiendish plot by the dreaded Gorgons to drain the minds of the United Galaxy's most brilliant scientists. In this episode, Quark encounters a beautiful dream girl, Ficus encounters a teacher, the Bettys encounter clones of Quark, and Gene/Jean encounters Zoltar the Magnificent. In order to save his crew Quark must destroy the obelisk and free the "clay people".moreless

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    Alan Caillou

    Alan Caillou

    The Head

    Guest Star

    Denny Miller

    Denny Miller

    Zoltar the Magnificent

    Guest Star

    Mindi Miller

    Mindi Miller

    Diane/Queen Lestra

    Guest Star

    Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions


    • TRIVIA (0)

    • QUOTES (9)

      • Quark: You are Freddy Astro?
        (Freddy makes some inarticulate sounds)
        Quark: Of course I remember your dad. I baby-sat for you when you were ten feet tall. That's a long time ago. My goodness, you really shortened well.

      • The Head: Commander Walker, you will be my representative at the Ambrosia Festival. I'd go myself, but Ambrosia gets straight to my head.

      • Quark: Can you at least give me a clue why no one has ever come back alive?
        Palindrome: Oh, we don't know. No one has ever come back to tell us.

      • Quark: Starnote. We are now orbiting Polumbus, a planet nobody has ever returned from. - It could be very crowded down there.

      • Gene/Jean: (as Gene) Oh commander, this just isn't fair! We finally get a good suicide mission and I gotta hang up here with this little cowardly hunk of metal.
        Andy: I am not offended. Cowards live longer.

      • Gene/Jean: (as Gene) You can't do this to me, commander! I need action. Knowing that you guys are down there beating up-- I'm telling you, I'm going crazy!
        Quark: You will be fine, Gene.
        Gene/Jean: (as Jean) I guess I will, commander. I'll just get on with my letter writing and do my nails.

      • Quark: What was that?
        Ficus: Hard to say, commander, it only appeared for a millisecond.
        Quark: Well, take a shot at it.
        Ficus: Taking a shot at it, commander, I would say it was a man. - Forty-five years of age, brown hair, dark eyes, six feet tall, one hundred and six pounds, with a slight scar behind the right ear.

      • Quark: Ficus, what do you make of this?
        Ficus: A most fascinating phenomenon, but one which leaves the mind facing a myriad of possibilities, alternatives and conclusions that are at best hypothetical, with no sound basis and fact.
        Quark: In other words, you don't know.
        Ficus: That is what I said.

      • Quark: (over comm) Palindrome, I did it! I'm returning from Polumbus, and I'm alive!
        Palindrome : You're beautiful, Quark.
        Quark: Palindrome, I had to destroy paradise.
        Palindrome : You destroyed paradise? That's wonderful. Eh, you better hurry back, I'll have the space medics ready.
        Quark: But-- You don't understand! I had to destroy my dream girl.
        Palindrome : Dream girl? I'll hurry, Quark. The doctors will be waiting.

    • NOTES (0)

    • ALLUSIONS (2)

      • This episode's plot is a parody of the Star Trek episode Shore Leave in which the crew encounter a planet that makes real every thought or memory.

      • Title

        The title of this episode is a reference to the film Goodbye Columbus in which Richard Benjamin played the lead.