Quark Season 1 Episode 0

Quark: My ancestors were members of a subgroup called Americans. Archaeological diggings made in the Western and several sections of their country indicate that the so called Americans worshiped and perhaps were governed by a fully clothed English speaking mouse.

Palindrome: Palindrome here, sir. Sorry to disturb you.
The Head: That's all right, Palindrome. I was just as usual thinking.
Palindrome: Sir, we've, eh, got a bit of a headache down here.
The Head: Don't tell me about headaches, Palindrome.
Palindrome: No, sir.
The Head: I wrote the book about headaches.

Palindrome: I'm sorry, sir. I know how you feel.
The Head: Can you imagine a migraine the size of a supernova?
Palindrome: No, sir.
The Head: Then you don't know how I feel.

Palindrome: Of course, it would mean certain death for everybody on board.
The Head: This is a tough one, Palindrome, but as you know, one of the responsibilities of those in charge sometimes is to order the sacrifice of the few for the sake of the many.
Palindrome: Yes, sir.
The Head: And particularly when those in charge are among the many.

Doc: I don't like Transmutes.
Quark: Transmutes are just like everyone else. Except, of course, for the fact that they have a full set of male and female chromosomes.

The Head: Get the interface operator.
Palindrome: Yes, sir.
Interface: Interface.
The Head: This is the Head. I want to send an emergency lasergram to the M82 sector.
Interface: That's awfully far.
The Head: We know that, Interface.
Interface: That would be 422 thousand dollars for ten words, and 68 thousand dollars for each additional word. What is the message, please?
The Head: Sixteen words, Palindrome.
Palindrome: Well, we can cut "dear".

Quark: How is it going, Andy?
Andy: Everything is fine, mank you.
Quark: Mank you?
Andy: You're welcome.

The Head: (about the emergency message) Okay, I think we've got it. Let's cut off the "good luck", it seems superfluous anyway. Interface, we've got it down to ten words.