Quark

Season 1 Episode 2

The Old and the Beautiful

0
Aired Friday 8:00 PM Mar 03, 1978 on NBC
7.9
out of 10
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Episode Summary

EDIT
The Old and the Beautiful
AIRED:
Expecting his usual garbage assignment, Quark is excited to hear that The Head has given an "extended romantic interlude" with Princess Carna of Kamamor. Troubles ensue when the crew encounters a stray space baggy carrying a virus which ages Quark 2 years for every hour.

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SUBMIT REVIEW
    Alan Caillou

    Alan Caillou

    The Head

    Guest Star

    Dana House

    Dana House

    The Handmaiden

    Guest Star

    Barbara Rhoades

    Barbara Rhoades

    Princess Carna

    Special Guest Star

    Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions

    FILTER BY TYPE

    • TRIVIA (1)

      • In the scene where Ficus and Quark talk about Princess Carna, Ficus is writing something on his pad, but the page is blank when he puts it on the monitor.

    • QUOTES (10)

      • Palindrome: Teach you personality? Dink, that's so... you think I can teach you personality? It's just something I happen to have.

      • Quark: Emotionally I won't feel a thing. It's strictly a mission. And Bettys, I mean that from the bottom of my heart, whatever happens between me and that princess happens for the good of the United Galaxies. Do you believe me?
        Bettys: (simultaneously) No!
        Andy: Frankly, I've heard better.
        Quark: Andy!
        Gene/Jean: (as Gene) Was a little lame, commander.

      • Quark: How could that happen? What is my condition, Ficus? I got to know!
        Ficus: Sir, it would appear you are upset.
        Quark: That I know! I want to know why I came out of that hatch ten years older than when I went down.
        Ficus: One explanation might be you were down there ten years.
        Quark: Ficus, I was down there five hours.
        Ficus: Now that would rule out that theory.

      • Quark: Gene, it's okay. You can't catch the virus, your blood is floating into me.
        Gene/Jean: (as Gene) My blood is what? (panics)
        Quark: Hold on, Gene, it's almost done.
        Gene/Jean: (turns into Jean) Relax, commander. Helping others is the part of space I love.

      • Quark: Ficus, did you understand anything Palindrome said?
        Ficus: I did have my back to the screen and was deeply engrossed in my calculations.
        Quark: Aha.
        Ficus: Anything I might say would be purely conjecture.
        Quark: Maybe I ought to sit down for this.
        Ficus: You are sitting down, sir.
        Quark: (looks down in surprise) I know that, I'm the commander.

      • Quark: When I was young and strong Princess Carna almost killed me. What will happen to me in this condition?
        Ficus: Nothing.
        Quark: Nothing?
        Ficus: No.
        Quark: No? Really?
        Ficus: The transfusion failed.
        Quark: Failed?
        Ficus: Yes.
        Quark: Ah.
        Ficus: At the rate you are aging, long before you reach Princess Carna you will be dead.

      • Quark: Now let me understand this. You are going to send an electrical current through my body that will kill the virus? Ficus, have you ever done this before?
        Ficus: Yes, sir.
        Quark: Good.
        Ficus: On plants to kill black root fungus.
        Quark: Black root fungus? I'm not a plant, I'm a human be--
        (Ficus starts the procedure and Quark screams on the top of his lungs)
        Ficus: Did you feel pain, sir?
        Quark: No, I was singing.
        Ficus: Oh! (pause) Why would one sing?

      • Andy: (over comm) Attention! Attention! A fleet of Gorgon ships is preparing to attack. If you need me - forget it!

      • Bettys: (simultaneously) Oh Adam, you're fantastic!
        Quark: That's the second time today someone told me that. (grins)

      • Quark: On the way to Kamamor to complete my mission I was invaded by a virus, transfused by a Transmute, attacked by Gorgons, electrocuted, and nearly died of old age. (grins) And I think this was the best assignment I ever had.

    • NOTES (0)

    • ALLUSIONS (1)

      • Title

        The title of this episode is a reference to the soap opera The Bold and The Beautiful, but the storyline is a spoof of the Star Trek episode The Deadly Years.

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