Queer as Folk

Season 3 Episode 3

Doctors of Dickology

1
Aired Sunday 10:00 PM Mar 16, 2003 on Showtime
8.5
out of 10
User Rating
45 votes
6

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Episode Summary

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Doctors of Dickology
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Brian tells Lindsay that he will help with the Gay and Lesbian Center's "Carnivale" fund-raiser—for 20 percent of the take. After the center's board members learn that Brian has lined up corporate sponsors to match the proceeds up to $100,000, they agree to his price. For $500, Brian hires Justin to create a poster, and Ethan expresses concern about Brian's motive to Justin. Brian's "Carnivale," an exotic, erotic assortment of outrageous sideshow performances and games, scandalizes Melanie and Lindsay, as well as the rest of the board, but is a huge financial success. Brian buys a Corvette with his earnings.

Meanwhile, Debbie joins the boys' gym, much to Michael's consternation, and starts to diet in order to make herself desirable to her beau, Detective Carl Horvath. She confides to Ted and Emmett that, being out of practice, she fears she will disappoint him in bed. To guarantee Horvath's satisfaction, Ted and Emmett proceed to teach her how to perform oral sex. Debbie succeeds so well that Horvath makes an offhand comment about how much practice she must have had in the past to be so accomplished, making Debbie feel like a whore. She angrily tells him to leave. Ted and Emmett try to repair the damage by telling Horvath the truth. He is so touched that Debbie has made such an effort to please him that he goes to Debbie to apologize—but not before getting some pointers on pleasing a woman from two lesbian cops.

Her endometriosis cured with a simple outpatient procedure, Melanie can now bear a child. She and Lindsay ask Brian to donate sperm again so that Gus and their second child will be related by blood. After first refusing, Brian later relents, but Melanie changes her mind about having Brian father her child. Ben's ex-lover Paul, who infected him with HIV, dies in an AIDS hospice. A panicked Ben becomes obsessed with his gym workouts, finally turning to steroids to pack on muscle as a hedge against the potential wasting effects of the disease.

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SUBMIT REVIEW
  • Not Bad

    9.0
    Not too much happened in this episode of the exciting nature, but the development of the characters' problems are growing well. Ben's concern over his morality, Brian and Justin's ever growing angst, Melanie wanting her own child not fathered by Brian... I cannot wait to see what happens later in the season!
  • brian just cant stay away from justin.

    9.5
    brian iz just adorable wen he says 'ean' lol. hez so cute wen he doesnt remember namez. and it just shows how much he carez bout justin and wants to help him in any way he can. thats y he gave him 100$ xtra. dat was cool seeing that dey still care for each other and will alwayz do no matter wat.
  • Ben gets some devastating news about his ex. Linze asks for Brian's help with a fund raiser for the center and asks him to donate his sperm so Mel can carry a child. Ted and Emmett give Deb a crash course in sex 101.moreless

    10
    So I found the whole crash course that Ted and Emmett gave to Deb to be hilarious. She was nervous that she wouldn't live up to Carl's expectations in the bedroom, so she asks them to help her. When Carl is amazed he assumes that Deb has been around the block a few times, and this makes her feel dirty and cheap. She gets angry and throws him out, so Ted and Emmett explain things to Carl. He goes to Deb and apologizes, and says he even asks for a crash course of his own from the lesbians on the force, and he can't wait to show her. In the meantime Brian asks Justin to design a poster for a fundraiser he is doing for the center that screwed him over, but he's doing it for twenty percent of the profits. Justin wants five hundred dollars for the poster so Brian says ok. He then invites Justin and Ethen to the fund raiser and Ethen says they had prior engagements, because he wanted Justin to go to a party and meet his snobby friends. This is Brian's way of trying to win Justin back a little and he's not fighting quite so hard, but Ethen isn't making it exactly as easy as i would have thought either. Justin is bored at Ethen's party so he leaves and winds up at Babylon. Brian gave Justin his money and an extra hundred dollars for "having it done on time." Brian still wants to help him out. While all this is going on Mel went and had a procedure done so that she can carry a child. Linze convinces Mel to ask Brian so that this child will be related to Gus, though Mel is dead against it. Brian says no at first because he doesn't want to give anything to Mel, but later changes his mind. Mel then changes her mind and decides she wants a different donor. Also, Ben is still looking for his own apartment but Mike tries to get him to stay. When Ben finds out that his ex, Paul that infected him died, he is devastated. He starts working out even harder to keep his body in shape and his muscle mass up, which was confusing to me since AIDS attacks cells and i didn't think it mattered what your muscle mass was. Anyway, Ben asks a man at the gym for steroids which i thought to be very dangerous not only for the obvious reasons, but Ben isn't on his meds anymore because the doctor wanted to give his body a break, so i wonder how is body is going to react to this. It can't be good. Speaking of bodies, we learn that Deb is on a diet because she is self conscious about her body now that she has a man in her life. Mike is not happy with her because she seems to be everywhere that he hangs out, and now she's working out in the gym he goes to. This was a good episode.moreless
  • Brian tries to fill the void with someone else, but who is he fooling? No one will ever replace Sunshine.

    10
    Brian's organizing a benefit for the center. You can tell that he's desperate to see Justin, especially after asking Justin to draw out the add for the Carnivale benefit. Sure Brian could have about ten other people that could do it at the agency, but he wants Justin. It's strange, but it's like they're apart and even though Justin's in another relationship, they're still connected to each other and both know that no matter what happens, they'll somehow wind up together somewhere down the road. Brian continues to mask his pain of being without Justin, by having sex with yet another random guy. But while he is, he imagines that he is having sex with Justin. After realizing that it's not him, he gets angry and demands that the guy leaves his loft immediately. I feel terrible for Brian, because we all know that it won't be easy, and that he may never get over Justin, even after the series ends.moreless
  • The exchange between Brian and Justin is important to note. Neither are over each other, and never will be.

    6.8
    We learn a lot about Justin in this episode. For one thing, he either doesn't feel comfortable or doesn't want to make new friends. His reluctance to go with Ethan to his friends' party and his early exit are significant. The only friends Justin needs or wants are those he already has--Brian, Michael, Emmett, Ted, Debbie and Daphne. They're his family. And Justin doesn't buy into the pseudo-intellectual friends Ethan has, thank the Lord. Justin gets a taste of this different world, and he doesn't like what he sees. Otherwise, he would've never gone to Brian's Carnivale and he would've told Ethan the truth about where he was going. I love the way Justin embarrasses Ethan in front of his friends by making sexual remarks. Brian would have appreciated those comments. Because as much as Justin tries to deny it, sex with Brian was never just about sex, for either of them. The truth is that Justin can't stay away from where he belongs, and he'll slowly come to realize that where he belongs is with Brian all along.



    And Brian is trying his utmost to keep Justin in his life, any way he can get him. Why else would he ask Justin of all people to design the poster, when he himself works with artists? You can see that he's happy when he notices Justin standing all alone in the center of the room at Babylon. He was waiting for him. That's obvious because Brian immediately leaves right after Justin leaves, only to drown his sorrows and attempt to numb his pain by screwing some random guy he won't remember the next morning. Poor Brian. Don't fret, you'll get the love of your life back soon.moreless
Sharon Gless

Sharon Gless

Deborah 'Debbie' Jane Grassi Novotny

Robert Gant

Robert Gant

Professor Benjamin 'Ben' Novotny-Bruckner (Season 2-5)

Michelle Clunie

Michelle Clunie

Melanie 'Mel' Marcus

Peter Paige

Peter Paige

Emmett "Em" Honeycutt

Scott Lowell

Scott Lowell

Theodore 'Ted' Schmidt

Gale Harold

Gale Harold

Brian Kinney

Jim Alexander (II)

Jim Alexander (II)

bingo caller

Guest Star

Ennis Esmer

Ennis Esmer

Henry

Guest Star

Fab Filippo

Fab Filippo

Ethan Gold (as Fabrizio Filippo)

Guest Star

Peter MacNeill

Peter MacNeill

Detective Carl Horvath

Recurring Role

Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions

FILTER BY TYPE

  • TRIVIA (0)

  • QUOTES (5)

    • Ted: Debbie told us that you had sex, or some heterosexual permutation thereof.
      Carl: Jesus Christ! Why doesn't she rent a billboard? What we do in bed is none of your business!
      Emmett: Actually, it is. See, um, Debbie was worried that she wouldn't live up to your expectations.
      Ted: That she'd let you down. So we gave her a crash course.
      Emmett: Introduction to Fellatio 101.
      Ted: Emmett's one of the world's foremost authorities.
      Emmett: (to Ted) Aw, thanks. (to Carl) Uh, anyway, young Deborah passed with honors.
      Ted: Magna cum loudly.
      Emmett: In fact, she did so well, you apparently…
      Ted: …and misguidedly…
      Emmett: …think she's a slut. The truth is, Detective… we're the sluts.
      Ted: (to Emmett) Speak for yourself.

    • Brian: (to Mel and Lindsay that he would be their sperm donor) Yo bitches, I'm offering to lend a hand.
      Melanie: Would you beat it?
      Brian: That's what I've been offering to do!
      Lindsay: Wait, do you really mean it?
      Brian: Yeah. If it's a boy, you can name him Bri Jr.
      Melanie: And if it's a girl?
      Brian: Charity, in honor of my donation. Now let's go piss off some heterosexuals.

    • Ethan: Now why do you have to be so anti-social?
      Justin: I'm not anti-social, I just can't stand people.

    • Ted: So Deb, what's it like doing "it" with a cop?
      Emmett: Does he conduct a strip search?
      Ted: Handcuff you to the bed?
      Emmett: Work you over 'til you sing?
      Debbie: Do you know what MYOB stands for? Mind your own fucking business!

    • (Brian and Michael are sharing a joint)
      Brian: Just give me one valid reason why any queer in his right mind would want to bring a kid into this world.
      Michael: Hm...
      Brian: Can't think of one, can you?
      Michael: Wait a minute...hold on...to piss off straight people. (both laugh)

  • NOTES (0)

  • ALLUSIONS (0)

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