Michael fends off the romantic interest of a female coworker who doesn't know he's gay and instead dates a handsome chiropractor, while Brian is propositioned by a potentially lucrative client of his firm. Meanwhile, Justin struggles to repair his fractured relationship with his mother Jennifer.
Deborah 'Debbie' Jane Grassi Novotny
Melanie 'Mel' Marcus
Emmett "Em" Honeycutt
Dr. David Cameron
Theodore 'Ted' Schmidt
Brian talking to new client in his 50's
Marvin: Well, actually, I had a different sort of evening in mind. the sort of evening you might... plan for yourself.
Brian: And what sort of evening is that?
Marvin: Well, y'know, one that's more...fun. Like this club I, uh, heard about,uh... Babylon?
Brian: Why, Marvin, you old dog. (smiles) Christ, isn't anyone straight anymore?
Brian: Who the hell are you?
Trick: I'm the guy you fucked last night.
Brian: Oh, yeah. Were you any good?
Someone knocks at the door.
Brian: Okay, I'm coming! (to trick) And you're going.
(Brian is knocking at Lindsay's door.)
Lindsay: (opens the curtain, sees Brian) The kitchen's closed.
(Lindsay walks away. Brian knocks again. Lindsay finally opens the door.)
Brian: Were you sleeping?
Lindsay: We have a newborn here. We never sleep.
Brian: Sorry I missed dinner.
Lindsay: Don't apologize, it doesn't become you. Don't think you can flash that smile and get away with it. That might have been cute at 20 but at 30 it's starting to get pathetic.
Lindsay: (sighs) Have you eaten?
Brian: No. (flashing that smile)
Lindsay: Come on.
Michael: (referring to his date) It's a complete waste of time! Paid for dinner, he didn't even want to fuck.
Emmett: Maybe he has a prostate problem or only one testicle.
Michael: (referring to the jacket) It's not even mine. It belongs to my friend Brian. David: I bet he doesn't look half as good in it as you. Michael: He looks better. David: Find that hard to believe. Michael: He can look good in anything. He even looks good in nothing. David: Good body? Michael: Awesome. When he walks into Babylon, heads turn like police lights just to look at him. David: Sounds like I can make a fortune doing neck adjustments.
David: Is that Hugo Boss?
Michael: (turning to see his back) Where?
David: (pointing at Michael) Your jacket.
(Brian and Michael are standing in front of the mirror, looking at the leather jacket on Michael's body.)
Brian: So what do you think?
Michael: I think I look like you.
Brian: You look fantastic. You are fantastic. (giving Michael a kiss) Remember that Mikey.
(Brian opens the door, and finds Michael standing there. Michael enters the loft, and Brian's eyes focus on his outfit all the way in.)
Michael: Oh shut up!
Brian: Who did this thing to you? Ah, let me guess. Emmett
Michael: Should've just worn my jeans, but he said, (imitating Emmett's tone) 'No, you can't go out in a date like that.'
Brian: You've got a date?
Brian: A date? (hugging Michael) Mikey's got a date!
Michael: I'm gonna call and cancel.
Brian: The fuck you are!
Michael: Well, I can't go like this!
Brian: You're right. (walks to get his shopping bag) Here, try this.
Michael: (looking at the shirt Brian just threw at him) You sure?
Brian: I got dozens of them.
Michael: It's weird going on a date.
Brian: Make sure he opens the car door for you and pulls your chair out.
Michael: That's what I mean. It's so... hetero. You ever been on a real date?
Brian: ... Once. I ended up fucking the waiter.
Michael: I don't know what to do or say.
Brian: Just be yourself.
Michael: That should make the evening fly by! Why can't we just... fast forward to sex?
Brian: The point of a date, so it's been explained to me by those who do that sort of thing, is that you actually get to know the other person before you fuck them.
Michael: What a dumb idea! What if you don't like them?
Brian: Worse yet: what if you do?
Emmett: (talking about David) ...It's every mother's dream.
Michael: Just be sure not to tell mine. I don't need her to know every time I go out.
Ted: Every time you go out is once a year.
Michael: Thanks for keeping count.
Ted: Accounting is my life.
Emmett: So what's he like?
Ted: What's old?
Michael: Older than you? Probably... 40?
Ted: That is old.
Emmett: On the other hand, they don't come as quick, and they have lots of money.
David: (referring to Tracy) She's cute.
Michael: Yeah. What a coincidence running into you here.
David: Well, that's not really coincidence, you told me where you work, remember?
Michael: Oh, yeah, right. Well, that's really nice, coming all this way to see how I am.
David: Nothing is more important than my patients' health and well-being. I also wanted to get a new screwdriver.
Michael: Oh. Well, let me show you where the hardware department. We have a complete line of tools, all at everyday low prizes.
David: And I wanted to, ah... ask you if you like to have dinner with me.
David: Dinner. You know, where you sit at the table and eat food from a plate?
(Jennifer is driving slowly, looking for Justin near his school.)
(Justin walks away, ignoring her.)
Jennifer: Honey, please. I thougth you might like... to come with me.
Justin: Where? To see another shrink?
Jennifer: It's a surprise.
Justin: I'm not interested.
(Jennifer stops the car, opens the door, and goes after Justin.)
Justin: You stop right there!
(Justin still ignores his mother.)
Jennifer: Stop running from me because I'm not running from you! I'm still your mother and you're still my son, and I still love you!
Debbie: Listen. They talk big and they ain't tough. But the truth is, the things he's the most afraid of, even more than his dad finding out and beating the shit out of him, is that you'll stop loving him.
Jennifer: I could never do that.
Debbie: Then you be sure he knows he hasn't lost you.
Jennifer: I just keep thinking it's my...
Debbie: It's not.
Jennifer: That I was...
Debbie: You didn't.
Jennifer: You don't even know what I was going to say.
Debbie: Yeah, I do. Coz I ask myself all the same things.
Jennifer: So you don't think it was because I...
Debbie: Smothered him? You smother a pork chop, not a son. People are what they are.
Dr. Cameron: Can you lie down on your back?
Michael: Mmm... Sure, on my back. It's my favorite position.
Michael: (moaning in agony) God, I am still stiff.
Tracy: Stiffer than last night?
Marley: Now you two, let's keep it clean.
Michael: We're talking about my neck!
Marley: You must have been doing more than inventory.
Tracy: Shut up Marley! Can't you see he's in pain?
Michael: It's the worst pain I've ever felt in my life.
Tracy: Did you take something?
Michael: Yeah, like two bottles of Tylenol!
Tracy: That won't help. You need a chiropractor.
(Justin walks into Brian's loft when Brian's ready to do it with the trick.)
Brian: Oh fuck!
Trick: Jesus, who's this?
Brian: He's the president of my fan club. What do you want?
Justin: My mom's out of control, now she's following me.
Brian: That must be an inherited trait.
Justin: I'm not going home.
Brian: Well you're not staying here.
Justin: There's nowhere else I can go. Do you want me to sleep on the street? I could get killed.
Trick: Why don't you get lost, you little asshole? (pushing Justin out) I was here first.
Brian: Better yet, why don't you... (pushing the guy out) ...beat it!
Trick: Fuck you!
Brian: Yeah. You're the bottom... remember?
Trick: Oh man, I'm so horny. I want you to fuck me for hours, and I'm a top.
Brian: Yeah, that's what all the biggest bottoms say.
Lindsay: That's good ...Because I invited Brian for dinner.
Melanie: Oh Christ!
Lindsay: How about I make that chicken you like?
Melanie: Forget it. I wouldn't let him touch my silverware knowing where his hands have been.
Lindsay: You know, I wish the two of you would make the slightest effort to get along, so I don't have to be the smiling lesbian in the middle.
Tracy: It's always work with you. Don't you ever have fun?
Michael: Yeah, I have fun. I have lots of fun.
Tracy: Really? Coz you never want to go out with us after work.
Michael: I've gone out with you guys.
Tracy: Once. Marley says, no one knows what you're really like, that you probably lead this double life.
Michael: She's right. I'm not who I appear to be, but you have to promise not to tell anyone. The truth is, when I was a boy, I was exposed to a laser light show at a Kiss concert, and after that, I developed a strange power to see into people's minds. To read their most private thoughts. I'm going to rob a bank! I'm going to blow up a bridge! This is then I set out to prevent crimes before they happen and my real name... is 'Laserman'.
Tracy: So Laserman, what am I thinking?
Michael: Okay, we've done toilet paper, paper towels, paper napkins, paper plates... (looking for Tracy) Tracy? Trace?
Trace: I'm here.
Tracy: In feminine hygiene. I'm checking panty liners, light days and heavy days.
Michael: So how're we doing?
Tracy: We're heavy on light days and light on heavy days.
Michael: I have to go back to the store. We're restocking.
Emmett: Poor baby. Spending entire evening alone in that dreary crappy pram?
Michael: Tracy will be there.
Brian: Your bride-to-be?
Michael: She's not my bride-to-be.
Brian: Then you can tell her who you really are.
Emmett: I agree. I always say: come clean, or don't come at all.
Michael: I can't. Where I work they laugh at faggots.
Brian: And the only faggots worth laughing are the ones who don't tell the truth. Don't be one of those assholes who hides, Mikey. And stop leading her on.
Michael: Who's leading her on? We're counting cartons of toilet paper.
Brian: Yeah, which you can use because you're so full of shit.
Emmett: (referring to himself, Brian, and Michael) Looks like it's ah... it's just us, three musketeers.
Debbie: More like the Pointer Sisters.
Ted: I'd love to hear what you have to say about pussy.
Brian: That is a good thing you got one because you would know what to do with a dick.
Brian: If I don't get this account, I'll be fucked. And without lube.
Emmett: And that's a bad thing?
Debbie: It's amazing how you always work anal intercourse into the conversation.
Michael: Marley, are you free tonight?
Marley: Do you know how long I've been waiting for a man to ask me that?
Michael: I need somebody to stay late and help me with inventory.
Marley: Oh, sorry. I've got church choir practice.
Michael: That's a new excuse.
Marley: How many times can my great grandmother be on a death bed?
David: Remember that little problem you had in my table?
Michael: Yeah, but you said that also happens to football players.
David: Only the gay ones.
Jen: That's not even the worst of it. He told the therapist that he likes...dick.
Deb: There you see, you already have something in common. I bet you were thinking you would never have anything to share again!
Debbie: (searching for the right tea for Jennifer) We got lemon cream, raspberry parfait, cosy
chamomile... How the hell a condom get in here? Here, 'Get Happy', you need it. So, what does dad say?
Michael: Ma, stop pinching my cheeks.
Debbie: Oh, bend over so I can pinch the other ones.
Psychiatrist: Justin, do you have anything to say?
(female psychiatrist & Jen are looking at Justin. He's staring at the table, looks up and smiles.)
Justin: I like dick. I wanna get fucked by dick. I wanna suck dick. I like sucking dick. And I'm good at it too.
Lindsay: Let me guess, your Italian tutor? You know if you visited once in a while we wouldn't need to drop by unannounced.
Brian: Talk to your girlfriend.
Lindsay: Can't exactly blame her. The way you behave.
Brian: She's just jealous, because she thinks you love me more than you love her. And she's right.
(Someone knocks at Brian's door. He wakes up & looks beside him.)
Brian: Who the hell are you?
Guy: I'm the guy you fucked last night.
Music: "Up Jumped The Boogie" by See To Sky; "Deeper" by Speedbump; "Minimal Peach" by Greek Buck; "Eirchelruck" by Da Hool; "Billy Club" by Junkie XL; "Everybody Pass Me By" by Pepe Deluxe; "Continental Impressions" by Roger Webb; "Sunshine" by Trigbag; "Sexy Boy" by Kinky Boyz featuring Kia.
This episodes was all so called NOW APPROACHING... THE LINE.
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