We meet Michael, Emmett, Ted and Brian in Babylon for the first time. As the group prepare to leave, Brian spots a young lad outside and decides not to give his friends a ride home but makes a move on the lad. A nervous Justin accompanies Brian back to his apartment, where Brian finds out Justin's real age, but they are interrupted when they get a phone call from the hospital.moreless
Melanie 'Mel' Marcus
Lindsay 'Linz' Peterson
Theodore 'Ted' Schmidt
Emmett "Em" Honeycutt
The word FAGGOT is on the passenger's side of the jeep but Brian looks back at the gawking people over his left shoulder (and the driver's side). People on that side of the jeep would not see the word.
Brian wears a white jockstrap by 2(x)ist and black button fly jeans, when stripping for the first time in front of Justin.
Brian lost his virginity at 14, to his gym coach in the locker room.
When Brian pours the water over him, trying to seduce Justin, his hair is wet. In the next shot his hair is dry, then wet again.
In the pilot episode, Michael goes through the back room of Babylon looking for Brian. On his way, he sees another friend (who's having sex) and says, "Hey, Todd! How's it going?" Todd looks at him and says, "Fine!" A different character asks Todd the same thing in the first episode of the first, second, fourth, and fifth seasons.
(Justin reaches orgasm while Brian is on the phone with Melanie.)
Brian: Jesus Christ! I told you not to!
Justin: I tried! I'm sorry. I tried!
Brian: All over my new duvet!
Justin: I tried.
Brian: (wiping the bed) Thank you very much.
Justin: It'll wash out, won't it? I mean, you should see my sheets at home.
Brian: Coming in?
Justin: Huh? Oh, yeah.
Brian: Shut the door.
(Justin hesitates, then shuts the door.)
Justin: This is a... really nice place.
Emmett: Don't look now but somebody's wat-ching.
Michael: Oh, him. He's been cruising me all night.
Emmett: Hmm... playing hard to get. I love that in a man.
Michael: Not playing, just not interested.
Emmett: Check out that bubble butt. And that basket? Enough in there for the big bad wolf.
(Brian and Justin are about to have anal intercourse.)
Justin: Wait. In school we had this lecture, about safe sex.
Brian: And now we're going to have a demonstration.
(Brian grabs a condom from beside the bed, rips it open with is teeth, and while handing it to Justin.)
Brian: Put it on me. Go on slip it on my dick.
(commenting on missing the birth of his son)
Brian: Wish I could have been there. How often do I get to see snatch?
Daphne: Where have you been? Your mom called. I didn't know what to tell her. I said you're still asleep.
Justin: I just saw the face of God.
Justin: His name is Brian Kinney.
(Everyone at Justin's school is staring at Brian's jeep with the word 'faggot' on it.)
Brian: Here we are sonny boy.
Michael: Be sure to come home right after school.
Brian: No lingering on the playground or the locker room with the gym teacher.
Michael: Oh you did not tell him about that!
Brian: It's the most famous shower scene since Psycho.
Justin's schoolmate: (passing by, screaming at Justin) Hey Justin, wanna suck me off?
Brian: No. (getting down from his jeep) But I'll kick your tight little virgin ass so hard you won't sit down for a week!
Brian: (surprised by the graffiti on his jeep) Oh that's beautiful Mikey. Just beautiful.
Michael: It's not my fault! I've told you about those two psychopaths down the street.
Brian: What? A couple of 12-year-olds?
Michael: They start early these days! (looking at Justin) What are you laughing at?
Justin: Nothing... You. Sound like my parents fighting.
(Michael walks into Brian and Justin, kissing.)
Michael: Christ! Didn't you get enough last night?
Brian: There's no such thing as enough. Besides, couldn't send him off without a nourishing high-protein breakfast.
Justin: She must have really wanted a kid.
Brian: Most women do.
Justin: Even lesbians?
Brian: Lesbians are women. Sort of.
(Brian stretches his hand over to the other side of the bed to stop the alarm, wakes up, and realizes that Justin is in his bed.)
Brian: What the fuck are you doing here?
Justin: You said I could stay.
Brian: Right. Your parents. They think you're at a friend's. (rising to sit on the bed, noticing the mess in the loft) Jesus Christ! What the hell happened?
Brian: Don't tell me. I was doing handstands.
Justin: And juggling. You're not very good.
Brian: Shit! Why do I do these things?
(Justin tries to answer.)
Brian: I'll tell you why. Was that fucking pig Anita. She told me that was E. That wasn't E, that was some shit they cooked up in a bathtub in Tijuana.
Justin: That's why you should never take drugs that aren't prescribed by a physician or recommended by a reliable pharmacist.
Brian: (laughing) What are you, a public service announcement?
(Brian and Justin are making love in bed.)
Brian: I want you to always remember this, so that no matter who you're ever with, I'll always be there.
Michael: He calls me, practically begs me to go with him, knowing full well I'm with someone, for the first time in I don't know how long...
Emmett: 7 months, 2 weeks, and 3 days.
Michael: Thank you. And even though the guy wasn't always cracked up to be...
Emmett: We'll let that remark pass.
Michael: At least he wanted me. Me! (sitting down on the couch) God I'm so horny!
Emmett: Poor baby. Well I have just the thing. A new porn video. (running to get the video) It all takes place in a prisoner of war camp. Hot, horny men starved for action.
Michael: I can relate to that.
(Emmett hands over the video to Michael.)
Emmett: Guaranteed to make your private stand up and salute.
Michael: Schindler's Fist?
Emmett: Ah... Here. (handing Michael the remote)) I'll leave you two alone. I'm sure you'll going to have a deep, meaningful relationship. Good night!
Brian: Well, here we are. Ma and Pa.
(Lindsay starts to cry.)
Lindsay: Don't mind me. Just feeling a little... vulnerable.
Brian: I promise not to tell.
Lindsay: Who would have thought? You and me, parents?
Brian: It's pretty scary, boys and girls. Think it's too late to return it?
Lindsay: (whispering) We could try... (laughing) I guess this means we're finally grown-ups.
Brian: Don't say that Wendy. We'll never grow up.
Lindsay: Don't be scared. Hell if our parents could fuck up so could we.
Michael: It's kinda weird you're having a kid. Still it's exciting isn't it?
Brian: What? Having some wrinkled little time clock ticking away? Reminding you that you're getting older by the minute, by the second?
Michael: Keep thinking like that you're gonna end up prematurely gray... Oh I think I see one.
(Michael reaches for Brian, pulling off his hair.)
Lindsay: Want to hold him?
(Brian approaches the baby, holding him.)
Melanie: Ca… Careful! Don't drop him.
Brian: That is just what I was planning on doing.
(Michael is making out with a guy when Emmett walks into them.)
Emmett: Woo! Don't mind me, just eh... can't sleep without my milk and Oreos.
Michael: This is my friend Emmett. He's staying with me temporarily since the hooker who lived down the hall from him burnt his apartment building down two years ago.
Trick: Two years is a long time to be temporary.
Michael: And yet it hasn't interfered with my love life... Which I suppose says a lot about my love life.
Brian: So what do you like to do?
Justin: Do? I don't know. Watch TV, play Tomb Raider.
Brian: (laughing) I meant in bed.
Justin: Oh. (smiles at Brian) This is fine.
Brian: Are you a top or a bottom?
Justin: (hesitantly) ...Top. And bottom.
Brian: Oh you're versatile then.
Justin: And ambidextrous, which was really confusing at first cause I can never figure out which hand to throw with.
Brian: (nodding) Do you like to rim?
Justin: Sure. I love it.
Brian: Great. Go to it.
(Justin looks confused, non-responsive)
Justin: Um... What exactly do you mean?
Emmett: Oh my God, look. He must've followed us.
Michael: Christ! It's just what I need.
Emmett: Honey, it's what we all need.
(Michael shakes his head, ready to go into his house.)
Emmett: (stopping Michael) Hey, when was last time you got laid?
(Michael opens his mouth, doesn't know how to respond.)
Emmett: My point exactly: if you can't remember, then it's time.
Brian: How's it going? Had a busy night?
Justin: Just eh… Checking out the bars you know. Boy Toy. Meat Hook
Brian: Meat Hook? Really? So you're into leather?
Justin: (hesitating) …Sure.
Brian: Where're you heading?
Justin: No place special.
Brian: I can change that.
(Both of them got into the jeep.)
Emmett: Hey! Hey, what about us?
Brian: You can ride with Ted.
Ted: Thanks a lot!
Michael: We need to go. We want to eat.
(Brian is receiving oral sex from a guy in the back room of Babylon.)
Brian: I'm just gonna give him my number.
Michael: What, you write it on your dick? How long is this gonna take?
Brian: (looking at the face of the guy) 10 minutes. Tops.
Michael: That was quick.
Ted: Not when you've had as much practice as he's had.
Brian: I got bored.
Emmett: I know, getting your dick sucked can be so tedious.
Ted: Why am I wasting my time staring at a bunch of overpumped princesses with IQ's smaller than their waists...
(Ted froze as a hot guy walked past him)
Ted: Jesus look at him!
Emmett: (referring to the hot guy) My God, have you ever seen anything more beautiful.
Ted: Venice. At sunset.
Emmett: Fine. You go down the Grand Canal, I'll go down on him.
Emmett: When did 70's night become 80's night?
Ted: I remember this song from high school. Talk about feeling ancient.
Emmett: Speak for yourself, honey. I was a mere child.
Brian: So are you coming or going? Or coming and then going? Or coming and staying?
Michael: But who wants to be at home in bed, especially alone, when you can be here, knowing that at any moment, you might see him - the most beautiful man whoever live... That is until tomorrow night!
Michael: It's disgusting, all those lesbians fawning over him and making goo-goo talk.
Brian: That's what women do over babies.
Michael: Who's talking about the baby? I mean Justin.
Brian: Pop quiz, no talking. Here's your question. Multiple choice. Do you want to come home with me? A, yes. B, yes. Or C, yes. Tick tick tick! Time's up, pencils down. What do you say?
Brian: How old are you really?
Brian: What is this, a missile launch?
Michael: Like I said, it's all about sex. 'Cept when you're having it. And then it's all about 'Will he stay?', 'Will he go?', 'How am I doing?', 'What am I doing?' Unless, of course, you're Brian Kinney. And then it's 'Who gives a fuck what you think? You're lucky to have me.'
Brian: Don't get smart, or I'll have to spank you.
Michael: The thing you need to know is, it's all about sex. It's true. In fact, they say men think about sex every 28 seconds. Of course, that's straight men; with gay men it's every nine.
Ted: The problem with perfection... is its inability to recognize anything less perfect than itself.
Emmett: In other words, you hit on him and he turned you down.
Ted: ... Yeah.
Melanie: (on tape) Where the hell are you? I've been trying your cell. It's turned off. If you're there, pick up. Brian. Listen, Lindsay's water broke. She's having contractions. We're at the hospital.
(Quick-pan to Brian as he stands bolt-upright.)
Brian: Fuck! I have a baby.
Justin: (in the bathroom) Ouch!
Brian: Two babies.
Ted: Which is why you read all those comic books, with those superheroes in their little tights - for the plot.
Michael(v.o): Emmett can be a little campy. Okay, a lot campy. But you gotta admit, these days it takes real guts to be a queen in a world full of commoners.
Brian: C'mon, Mikey, let's fly... like in all those comic books. I'm Superman. I'll show you the world!
Michael: Why am I always Lois Lane?
Michael: Ted's this really smart guy, and he's got a really big heart. Only nobody here's interested in the size of that organ.
Lindsay: We've been thinking of names. Mel wants to call him Abraham after her grandfather, but I like Gus.
(Brian looks at his son, then over to Justin.)
Brian: What do you think?
Justin: You wouldn't survive a day in school named Abraham, but I guess Gus is okay.
Melanie: Thank you very much, and who the hell are you?
Brian: His name's... Juh...
Brian: You were on the phone when he shot his load all over me.
Lesbians in the room: Ugh...
Lindsay: Oh Brian!
Brian: He can't help it. He's only 17.
Melanie: So you and Lindsay each had an infant tonight.
Brian: Mine doesn't suck on my tits, unless I want him to. (looking back at Gus) Gus! It's a good butch name. Come on Gus; give your daddy a smile.
Justin: And Tylenol.
Brian: Tylenol? No one's allergic to Tylenol. Tylenol's what they give you when you're allergic to everything else.
Brian: Do you like Special K?
Justin: It's okay, I like Cheerios better.
Brian: I don't mean the kind you eat with bananas.
Michael: Okay, that's me. Michael Novotny the semi-cute boy next door type. 29, 5'10", 140, 9 and a half cut. Okay, so I exaggerate.
Michael(v.o): By the way, that's me. 6'1", 46" chest, 16" biceps, 28" waist, a veritable God. I wish.
Sharon Gless (Debbie) does not appear in this episode. She made her first appearance in the next episode, which originally aired as a 90-minute episode with this episode.
International Air Dates:
Germany: Monday January 09, 2006
In the Queer as Folk UK version, during the first anal intercourse scene, Stuart (US: Brian) relaxes Nathan (US: Justin) by telling him about the footballers entering the field each time he goes in deeper. The US version does not have a similar scene; instead Justin asks Brian if it always hurts. Brian says it'll hurt a little bit but that's part of sex, and asks him to relax.
The Logo channel removed the sex scene (rimming and anal intercourse) between Brian and Justin when showing the pilot episode (9/24/2006 @ 00:30 CDT). This version cuts from Michael watching Schindler's Fist (a gay POW movie) to Brian and Justin waking up in the morning together and Justin holding Brian.
Randy Harrison (Justin) would run in place and jump up and down to constantly maintain the exhausted/hyperventilating feeling he needed to perform in his sex scenes.
Music: "Can You Feel It" by The Tamperer; "Let's Hear It for The Boy" by Katty B.; "Synasthesia" by Junkie XL; "Deeper Love" by Ruff Driverz; "Sandstorm" by Darude; "You Think You're a Man" by Full Frontal; "Proud" by Heather Small; "X-Hale Slowly" by Bootsy McQueen; "So Good" by The Aloof; "Heavy Scene" by Meg Lee Chin; "More Effeminate Than You" by Robin Black
Set in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, this series is actually filmed in Toronto, Canada.
On the hospital roof, Brian gets up on the ledge.
Brian: I could end it all now right now.
Michael: Oh, that would be dramatic like ER. Birth and death in the same episode. Now get down!
This is an allusion to the TV series ER, in which sometimes birth and death happens in the Emergency Room in the same episode.
Porn Title - Schindler's Fist
Parodies the 1993 Holocaust drama Schindler's List starring Liam Neeson and directed by Steven Spielberg.
Brian: Kids grrrrreat!
Grrrrreat! is the catchphrase of Tony the Tiger, mascot for Kellogg's Frosted Flakes cereal.
Michael: Okay Boy Wonder, I'm taking you home.
Boy Wonder is the title given to DC Comics superhero Robin, who is the young sidekick of Batman.
Brian: Don't say that Wendy! We'll never grow up!
This is paraphrased from the stories/plays of Peter Pan by J.M. Barrie. The stories revolve around a fairy boy named Peter (usually accompanied by his friends the Lost Boys) who wants to have fun all day and never grow up and accept adult responsibilities. Wendy is the young girl who plays mother to Peter and his friends but in the end realizes you can't stay young forever and leaves.
Brian: It's the most famous shower scene since Psycho.
Psycho is the classic 1960 Alfred Hitchcock horror film, most famously known for the murder of character Marion (Janet Leigh) in a shower.
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