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Queer as Folk

Season 1 Episode 2

Queer, There and Everywhere

Aired Sunday 10:00 PM Dec 03, 2000 on Showtime
out of 10
User Rating
99 votes

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Episode Summary

Queer, There and Everywhere

Michael stays in the closet at work, which causes some problems with an interested co-worker while at the same time he struggles with feelings of jealousy over Brian's relationship with Justin.

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  • Season 2

  • All the Feels

    This show has already won my heart. This episode introduces us to Michael's mom as well as the deeper parts of Brian's personality. That ending scene with him and Justin was just magnificently done - the acting, the music, everything. This is a quality show.
  • "So Dawson, how's things down at the creek?"

    This episode delves deeper into the personal lives of our main characters and introduces super mom, Debbie. She's the quirky, outspoken, loving and very supportive mom of Michael. We see Brian's insatiable thirst for men and sex, as he struggles to deal with his previous one-night-stand, Justin, following him around. Justin is very determined to prove that he's more to Brian than just another trick. While Justin is on his way out of the closet, Michael, on the other hand feels the need to hide his true identity at work. Feeling the need to fit in, he goes along with being straight, potentially leading on his coworker, Tracy.moreless
  • Brian lays down the law to Justin about their encounter. Linze and Mel upset Brian by asking him about insurance money for Gus if something happens to him. Michael continues to be jealous over Justin's involvement with Brian.moreless

    So in this episode we learn a little more about Mike and Brian's past history. Brian talks about their intimate encounter when they were younger and drooling over Patrick Swayze as if it were just a fling. Apparently Mike had never experienced the full pleasure of what it would be like to be with Brian because his mother had walked in. At the end of the episode we see that Mike's room is still set up as if he were still a little boy, and we also find out that he is still pining over Brian, which is no secret to Mike's mother. I found it funny that he saved the magazine they were looking at that day, and just like before Mike's mom walks in. It was sort of sad to see Mike's room and learn that he still loves Brian and never got to experience what he wanted to with him, but even sadder is that his room being set up like that is like his entire life stopped the day Brian and he didn't go all the way. So, Brian lays down the law to Justin about how he doesn't do boyfriends after Mike explains it to Justin. Justin is obviously heartbroken as he had fallen in love with his first. He had showed up to a bar that Brian and Mike and the guys were all at which just annoyed Brian and also Mike. We also find out that Justin's mother does not know about his sexuality. I love Mike's mother, she is very cool and open about her son, and funny. Justin's comment to Mike about him still waiting for Brian was bold but seemed to hit the nail right on the head.moreless
  • El episodio especial piloto dura 90 minutos sin comerciales.

    Y simplemente nos deja deseando mas de la trama y sus personajes. Justin recibe su primer corazon roto y se da cuenta que Brian no es precisamente el mejor partido, su ingenuidad se nota cuando dice que "Ama a Brian". Sus amigos apenas a intervenir en la trama y quitan esa sensacion de que Brian es el centro del universo. Michael detras de su responsabilidad esconde un antiguo enamoramiento por Brian, lo cual puede que no sea muy sano para el, pero pues tantas cosas pasando en la serie hacen que este piloto sea espectacular y lo enganche desde el primer momento.moreless
Sharon Gless

Sharon Gless

Deborah 'Debbie' Jane Grassi Novotny

Michelle Clunie

Michelle Clunie

Melanie 'Mel' Marcus

Peter Paige

Peter Paige

Emmett "Em" Honeycutt

Scott Lowell

Scott Lowell

Theodore 'Ted' Schmidt

Gale Harold

Gale Harold

Brian Kinney

Hal Sparks

Hal Sparks

Michael Charles Novotny

Lindsey Connell

Lindsey Connell


Guest Star

Robert Church

Robert Church

Mr. Wertshafter

Guest Star

Paulino Nunes

Paulino Nunes

Mr. George Goodfuk

Guest Star

Stephanie Moore

Stephanie Moore


Recurring Role

Alec McClure

Alec McClure

Christian Hobbs

Recurring Role

Jack Wetherall

Jack Wetherall

Vic Grassi

Recurring Role

Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions


  • TRIVIA (1)

    • Michael's first sexual encounter happened at 14 (15 tops), when Brian gave him a handjob. Michael doesn't think it should count because he didn't climax (his mother walked in without knocking).

  • QUOTES (24)

    • Ted: How bout another round on me?
      Brian: I got a better idea. Lets move on.
      Michael: What's wrong with here?
      Brian: I've had everyone here.
      Ted: My problem precisely.
      Michael: You haven't had me.
      Brian: (smiles) Oh yeah?

    • Brian: Oh, shit. Just what I need. What's-his-name.
      Michael: Justin. His name is Justin. If I can remember it and I didn't even fuck him, why can't you?
      Brian: Because I did.

    • Brian: I had to piss during that whole pitch. Didn't think I could hold it.
      Client grins.
      Client: Your presentation was very impressive.
      Brian: (looks over) Think so?
      (eyes drop)
      Client: (grinning) Yeah, it was very impressive.
      Brian: Well I'm glad you liked it. Because that's what we're here for. To please the client.

    • Brian: (pitching his ad campaign) The difference between our beer and their beer is that our beer says...sex. Not Clydesdales. If you want to be cool, if you want to be popular, if you want to get... laid... this is what you drink.

    • Ted: Brian Kinney, a father.
      Michael: It's true. I was there. I saw it happen with my own eyes.
      Ted: Talk about conceiving the inconceivable. Or is it the other way around.

    • Brian: (looking at himself in the mirror) I'll fuck you!

    • Debbie: Shoot! I bet that'll be the first time tonight, am I right?
      Michael: Ha-ha... I'll have the chicken fried steak, no remarks, and he'll have a bacon cheeseburger.
      Debbie: Please?
      Michael: Please.
      Debbie: (to Justin) Gotta keep your strength up sunshine, you can't cruise all night on an empty stomach (walking away)
      Justin: What a freak!
      Michael: Yeah, she takes time to get used to but once you do, can't help but love her.

    • Justin: Dirty Dancing. That's a really old movie.
      Brian: What?
      Justin: I said that's a really old movie.
      Brian: It's not that old.
      Justin: How old are you?
      Ted: Ugh-oh.
      Brian: How old do you think I am?
      Justin: 33?
      (Everyone laughs.)
      Brian: Fuck you.
      Michael: He's 29.
      Brian: And fuck you too! What did you tell him for?
      Michael: Fair's fair.
      Ted: We all know what that means. In a few months, he'll be 30. Might as well be dead?
      Brian: Well, you ought to know. You already are.

    • Justin: Hi!
      Brian: Oh shit! Just what I need. What's his name?
      Michael: Justin! His name's Justin. If I can remember, and I didn't even fuck him, why can't you?
      Brian: Because I did?
      (Brian approaches Justin, standing beside him.)
      Brian: So Dawson, how're things down at the creek?

    • Brian: Well the answer's no. Definitely not.
      Melanie: I don't understand the problem, I mean, Lindsay told me you offered to help support him.
      Lindsay: It was very generous.
      Brian: Well that's different than a life insurance policy.
      Melanie: It's simply in case something happens to you.
      Brian: Like I'm decapitated on a railroad crossing. Or burned beyond recognition in some gas explosion. You know, I can just imagine the grisly deaths you conned it up for me.
      Melanie: Like in case you get sick.
      Brian: (pausing)...Ah. Even better.
      Melanie: Considering your life, when's the last time you're tested.
      Brian: Six months ago! I was negative.
      Melanie: That's twenty-six weeks and a hundred and eighty-two one-night stands.
      Brian: You know I've always admired people who can multiply in their heads. And I'm always careful.
      Lindsay: Look. This isn't for us. It's for our son. We need to make sure he'll be provided for.
      Brian: And all I have to do is die.
      Melanie: Hopefully not before you sign these papers. (smug-smiling at Brian)

    • (Michael is in a bar with Tracy and a few other straight colleagues, when Tracy starts to talk about plumbing.)
      Tracy: ...I said, 'I don't care what you do. Buy some cement, get a cork, use chewing gum, but plug it up!'
      (Everyone's laughing...)
      Michael: Butt-plug... (laughing) Butt-plug! (laughing again)

    • Michael: We need a secret code word like 'Schuzame' so if I get into a tight spot you could come and rescue me.
      Brian: Tight spot? How about 'butt-plug'?
      Michael: Butt-plug might be a little hard to work into a conversation.
      Brian: Because that's what you are, pretending you're one of them.
      Michael: I couldn't help it!
      Brian: Or you could've told her the truth instead of acting like a scared little faggot. You should've just said, 'I take it up the ass, sweetheart. Deal with it!'
      Michael: Right, right. By the way I noticed you got the jeep repainted.
      Brian: ...
      (They have finally reached the bar.)
      Michael: God this place is like 'Breeders' Central'. Butt-plug, butt-plug, butt-plug, butt...
      Brian: (pushing Michael down the jeep) See ya, Mikey.

    • Jennifer: Of all the beautiful clothes your father and I bought for you, you have to pick something that no longer fits. That is too tight.
      Justin: That's why!

    • Michael: It was a trap!
      Emmett: Hey! See that number in the red shorts?
      Ted: I can work out for a hundred years and never look like that.
      Michael: Pretending she didn't like her just to see what I'd say.
      Emmett: Sean Peters, went home with him the other night, thinking he was this brutal top...
      Ted: And?
      Michael: ...And I fell for it!
      Emmett: Turns out, he's a big nelly bottom! (laughing)
      Ted: I gotta tell you that!
      Emmett: Ugh! It's so discouraging. Are there no real man left?
      Michael: Now they're expecting me to meet them?
      Ted: Steroid city?
      Michael: No! In a straight bar. Is there anyone here listening?
      Emmett: (speaking really fast) There's this new girl at work who's interested in you, Fat Marley tricked you into meeting her, and some of the other for a drink after work, and now you have to go or they might suspect. (changing topic) Check out Mr. Peck Deck. (back to Michael) So what if they do?
      Ted: They can fire him?
      Michael: Or I can end up a assistant manager for the rest of my life.
      Emmett: And... the solution is to pretend you like pussy?
      Ted: (sigh) Look, he's not like you okay.
      Emmett: What was that supposed to mean?
      Ted: Meaning he's not an obviously gay man.
      Emmett: Are you accusing me of being obvious?
      Ted: If the 'fuck me' pump fits.
      Emmett: Ah... (putting down his barbells) What... I can be a... a real man if I wanted to. You know...
      (Michael stops doing his routine, raises his eyebrows, looking at Emmett)
      Emmett: ...just lower my voice, stop... gesturing with my hands, make sure my face is expressionless, never, never use words like, like 'fabulous' or 'divine'. Talk about... I don't know, (deepening his voice) nailing bitches and RBI's. But I rather my flame burn bright! Than be some puny little pilot light.
      Ted: And a fabulous flame it is.
      Emmett: Thank you.
      Ted: Yeah, but Michael is out there in the straight world. Believe me, it isn't easy. (reassuring Michael) You do what you have to do.

    • Justin: There I was on my back, and there he was on top of me, slipping it in.
      Daphne: That must have hurt. Didn't it hurt?
      Justin: At first it felt like someone's shoving a broom up there. But, I told him to go slow and he did. Then I stopped thinking about it when I looked at his face. His eyes were closed, his mouth was open, he sort of smiled. Like he was at another place. A beautiful place, that place was me. And his body... God! His body was so amazing! I could see every muscle. He said he wanted to stay inside of me forever, and I wanted him to. I still feel him, like he's still there. Christ! Daphne, everybody talks about having sex, but I really did it!

    • Justin: Guess what I was doing last night?
      Daphne: Sleeping? Same as me?
      Justin: Having sex. All night. With that guy I met, Brian Kinney. We did it till six in the morning. (pausing) Well, aren't you shocked?
      Daphne: Not really.
      Justin: (disappointed) Oh.
      Daphne: Well, I kinda figured that you are... you know... Even though you never told me.
      Justin: Telling you now!
      Daphne: Want some of my veggie wrap?
      (Justin takes the food, eating it.)
      Daphne: So what was it like?
      Justin: Well, I started out as a tight end but wound up a wide receiver.

    • Michael: (v.o) Remember that story we all read in high school? You know, the one about the prisoners chained in the cave? Plato or whoever? All they could see were shadows on a wall. So, after a while, they started thinking that was reality. Well, in a way, that's what Ted's like. It's been so long since he's had sex with someone who he didn't download, he's forgotten that all those perfect bodies and perfect faces aren't real. That no one's really there. That they're only ... shadows. Then again, who ever got anal warts in a chat room?

    • Brian: We were up in his room. We were fourteen, fifteen tops. We were supposed to be studying, whatever. Only, we're not. We're looking at this trashy photo mag his mom swiped from the beauty parlor. Anyway, there's this shot of Patrick Swayze from Dirty Dancing... without his shirt on.
      Brian: So, I've got this hard-on just from looking at it, and I glance over at Mikey and guess what? He's got one, too.
      Michael: Okay, you can stop now.
      Brian: (laughs) Twin stiffies. I reach over. Start rubbing it. He's practically swooning. [drops voice] I pop it out, start stroking it. Nice and slow. We're both this close. Then... his mom walks in without knocking.

    • Brian: I don't believe in love. I believe in fucking. It's honest, it's efficient. You get in and out with the maximum of pleasure, and minimum of bullshit. Love is something that straight people tell themselves they're in, so they can get laid. And they end up hurting each other, because it was all based on lies to begin with. If that's what you want, then go find yourself a pretty little girl... and get married.

    • Brian: There's only two kinds of straight people in this world: the ones that hate you to your face and the ones that hate you behind your back.

    • Emmett: I only go out with men who already enlisted. So, uh, who's he look like?
      Michael: Well, he's got Brian's eyes and mouth, and... Lindsay's nose.
      Ted: Well, if he's got Melanie's dick, we're in big trouble.

    • Michael: You should see the pictures I took. He is so adorable. In one of them, he's actually playing with himself.
      Ted: Who, Brian?
      Michael: No, the baby.

    • Tracy: You've got to believe, right Mike?
      Michael: Like Cher!

    • Vic: How am I going to pay for all of this?
      Debbie: Hustle?

  • NOTES (4)

    • Sharon Gless (Debbie) first appears in this episode , which originally aired as a 90-minute episode with the previous episode.

    • Music In this Episode:
      "Freefall (Nettwerk Records)" by Tom Third "Wanna Mmm" by The Lawyer
      "Turn It Round" courtesy of MasterSource
      "Louisiette" by Prairie Oyster
      "Liar Song" by Michael Chase
      "Think" by Karaoke
      "Mambo Lupita" by Peer Music
      "Dancin' (Like It's the Last Day of My Life)" by Mike Drury
      "Minimal Peach" by Greek Buck
      "Sleep" by The Dandy Warhols

    • Cut Scene:

      Brian goes back to his apartment, and sees Mr. Goodfuk lying down naked, and Brian does his "superman" jump, going to him.

    • This episode aired as part of the 90-minute pilot.


    • Brian: They'd probably tie you to a fence and bash your brains in.

      This is an allusion to the brutal slaying of Matthew Shepard in 1998, who was beaten, tied to a fence and left for dead in a remote area in Wyoming.

    • Brian: So Dawson, how're things down at the creek? This is an obvious reference to the WB teen drama Dawson's Creek, which focused on the problems and trials of aspiring film maker Dawson Leary and his friends Joey, Pacey, Jen & Jack.

    • Michael: I need a secret code word like 'Shazam'.

      A young boy named Billy Batson uses the magic word 'Shazam' to transform into the DC Comics superhero Captain Marvel.