Lindsay's and Melanie's wedding is coming up and they get a tarot card reading. It is a negative reading about their wedding day but the two refuse to listen. Michael and Ted are buying a wedding gift while Vic gets a job.
Sharon Gless |
Deborah 'Debbie' Jane Grassi Novotny |
Robert Gant |
Professor Benjamin 'Ben' Bruckner |
Michelle Clunie |
Melanie 'Mel' Marcus |
Peter Paige |
Emmett "Em" Honeycutt |
Scott Lowell |
Theodore 'Ted' Schmidt |
Gale Harold |
Brian Kinney |
Frank Chiesurin |
Bartender |
Guest Star |
Shamba Amni |
Jamal |
Guest Star |
Keith Knight |
Dr. Beamer |
Guest Star |
Jack Wetherall |
Vic Grassi |
Recurring Role |
Bruce Gray |
George Schickel |
Recurring Role |
Nancy Anne Sakovich |
Leda |
Recurring Role |
Even though Brian is shown to be naked in the tanning booth, when he gets out, you can see the waistband of some sort of lower body covering.
Brian: I think you're a selfish, heartless asshole. Keep up the good work.
Melanie: (about organizing the wedding) I hear you're the one responsible for this.
Brian: I don't know what lying asshole told you that but I suppose a man in my position has to endure such attacks against his character.
Melanie: Baby, please. You have to eat.
Lindsay: What for?
Melanie: You need to keep your strength up to feel miserable.
Michael: You know what I think it is? I think you're afraid to let anyone know that you love them, that you have feelings like the rest of us. It's okay to be human, you know.
Brian: Think... you don't really want me there, do you? I'd have to be chemically dependent just to show up. I'll be drunk, I'll be bored, not to mention better looking than the brides. I'll offend all the dykes, I'll heckle the ceremony, table dance at the reception, and inevitably fuck every good-looking guy - gay, straight, or undecided - in the place. Finally, I'll pass out, naked, bitching about the cheap booze. You'll lose your dignity, your friends, and your shirts paying for the damages. Hell, I'm doing you a favor getting out of town.
Melanie & Lindsay: (simultaneously) Have a safe trip.
Melanie: Honey, there is no way we can squeeze that many guests into our house
Lindsay: Baby, we can move all the furniture into the garage!
Melanie: Lambskin, you'd have my thousand-year-old aunt stand all night.
Lindsay: Pudding pie, she has a walker. She can lean.
Melanie: And what if somehow, (pinches Lindsay's cheek) my little love button, we manage to overcome the laws of physical science and pack 'em all in...what the fuck are they going to see besides each other's nose hair?!
Lindsay: You're not even trying to make this work!
Melanie: And you're not even trying to make sense!
Lindsay: There's no need to be abusive!
Melanie: (back to being sweet) I wasn't being abusive, I was merely expressing....frustration.
Lindsay: So now I'm frustrating?
Melanie: I didn't say that! Ugh! (grabs hair)
(knocking)
Leda: Cleaning's here!!! Yours, Mel (hands Melanie her suit). And... (takes out shredded dress)...what was yours, Linz. Apparently the dry cleaning solution was too...
Lindsay: (holding up her hand) There's no need to explain. At this point in the plot...we all get it.
Leda: But the good news is they give you a hundred dollars worth of coupons!
Lindsay: (weakly) Hooray.
Melanie: We will find you something else to wear....boo boo? And we will have our beautiful special fucking day, goddamnit! Even if we have to do it nude in the backyard.
(Melanie kisses Lindsay on the cheek)
Brian: He doesn't want an ass in good taste; he wants an ass that tastes good.
Justin: Lesbians are into endangered species. Brian: Yeah, unfortunately they aren't one of them.
Michael: So what do you get two dykes who have everything? Brian: Dykes don't have everything - that's why they're so miserable.
Lindsay: (showing dress) Isn't it lovely? Debbie just whipped it up, with the help of some blue birds and mice.
This is a specific reference to the 1950 Disney animated motion picture of Cinderella. In the movie, blue birds and mice make her a dress. After it's completion, Cinderella asks her stepsisters "Isn't it lovely?"
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